Headache
by mortok
Summary: Sequel to "Headcase", GO READ THAT FIRST! If you don't, you'll have no idea what's going on. Believe me, I'm the author and even I have trouble figuring it out. M/M stuff in here people. Don't like? Too bad. HIATUS OVER! Chapter 21 now up!
1. Mirror, Mirror

A/N: This is the sequel to my other "Torchwood" fic, "Headcase", if you haven't read it, go and do so now, cause if you don't like it, you certainly won't like this one. While you're there, be sure to leave a review.

TO those of you who HAVE read it: Thanks for reading it! From the way "Headcase" ends, and this fic begins, you could be forgiven for thinking it starts right where the other left off. I'm actually scheduling it at least three months later. Also, I've decided to put in some Welsh, here and there. It will look like **_this_**. Unfortunatly, unlike Alex, I don't have Ianto Jones as my personal tutor, and am making do with an internet translator, which is probably crap. I'm putting translations of any welsh that appears at the end of each chapter. So if I get it wrong, someone please correct me!

**DISCLAIMER: **I don't own Torchwood, if I did, I'd be able to pronounce the pteradactyl's name. Is it Myfanwy? Everyone seems to think it is, but I've only seen the first season so far, and it hasn't come up.

**WARNING: **Male/male flirting and mentions of sex stuff! But come on! If I take _that_ out, then I might as well shove this in the "Scooby-Doo" section. Also, multiple OC's. If you don't like them, go away.

Now, on with the show!

**ONE: MIRROR, MIRROR **

Alex awoke with a jump and a half scream. Sheets pooled in his lap and sweat beaded on his forehead as his head turned wildly in the darkness. His bare chest rose and fell rapidly, in time with his panicked breathing. His skin was a hellish red, thanks to the light cast on him by the alarm clock on the far side of the room.

A formless mass in the sheets began to shift. Alex forced himself to stifle a "manly" scream as his body was encircled by large, strong arms. He relaxed visibly as he realised he wasn't being attacked.

"Mmm," Soft vibrations coursed through his body as the man behind him purred "goomornin." Alex took a moment to translate the mumbling, and laughed.

"Good morning to you too." Alex moaned as large fingers threaded through his long blonde hair and turned his head for a deep, lip bruising, tonsil tickling kiss.

"Mmm," the man above him purred again as they broke apart "you still taste like me."

"Ew!" Alex pulled away sharply. "That, is the least sexy thing you've ever said. I'm using your toothbrush for that."

"I thought it was cute."

"It wasn't." Alex shot back as he swung himself off the bed and made his way into the tiny bathroom. It consisted of a sink, mirror, shower and a small rack with a towel on it. Scattered bottles and various toiletries broke up the monotony of the immaculate porcelain. He stepped into the shower, closing the glass door behind him, and gave the "hot" tap a good, sharp twist. Immediately, needles of warm water beat down on his naked skin, soothing the muscles that had been stretched and strained by yesterday's activities. Some of it had been actual exercise too.

He tried not to think about the dream. He reminded himself that she was dead. It was ironic really. Now that there was no way she could ever harm him, he had become more frightening than she ever had been in life. She would pop into his head at the oddest times, and when he slept…well, the less said, the better. He washed his hair and scrubbed himself as quickly as he could, before turning the water off with a squeak.

He stepped out and grabbed the towel, knotting it around his waist, before moving to the fogged up mirror and removing the condensation with a swipe of his hand across the glass. He screamed and jumped back, slipping and twisting on the puddle that had formed under him. He grabbed the towel rack just in time to stop himself hitting the floor.

"Are you okay?" The sleepy voice drifted over from the other room.

"Yeah," _No_ "I'm fine." _I'm insane_.

Alex slowly pulled himself up onto his feet and willed himself to turn around and face the mirror. Through the slit of defogged glass, only his bright green eyes stared back. That was new. He wasn't used to seeing her outside those brief times when somebody would do something to trigger some terrible memory. Those were enough of a shock as it was. But, now, to have her cold, grey eyes staring at him, in place of his reflection, was just…well, there weren't words. He pushed the thought out of his mind, brushed his teeth and exited the stark white room as quickly as he could.

* * *

He felt the playful gaze on him as he walked in a circle around the bed, gathering his scattered garments into a bundle in his arms before moving over to his "overnight bag", a large black satchel that contained, among other things, a change of clothes. Not that he minded smelling of sex, buthe was sick of getting bitched at. With _most_ of yesterday's outfit tucked under his arm, he rummaged in his bag with the other. Odd. He could have sworn he had made especially sure put them in there to make sure that-

"Looking for these?" A husky voice asked. Alex rolled his eyes and turned to see his blue pinstripe boxers dangling on a hand.

"Jack," He warned "give them back. _Now_."

"Sorry," Jack pulled his arm back and out of reach as Alex made a move to grab them "no can do. I keep a memento of all my conquests."

"But you've conquered me loads of times," Alex whined deliberately, hoping to score pity points with the hard-eyed, hard-bodied, hard-etc man "that's my last pair! What are you even gonna do with them? It's not like they even fit you."

"What would you know?" Jack asked, pulling back again as Alex lunged for the boxers, pinning him to the bed by placing the other hand on his chest. Alex rolled his eyes. Even from here, he could easily overpower Jack and take them back, but it was fruitless. Last time he had tried, the bastard had broken into his apartment and taken them; if only he knew where Jack stashed them all.

"Fine," Alex snorted, annoyed, as Jack let him up "I guess I'm going commando." He grabbed the jeans poking out of his overnight bag and started pulling them over his legs.

"What are you doing?" Jack asked.

"Getting ready for work."

"You can't go yet," Now it was Jack's turn to whine as Alex buckled his belt "all this rough-housing has got me excited."

"Well, you should've thought of _that_ before I had freezing cold metal in sensitive areas." Alex retorted, voice slightly muffled as he pulled a form-fitting shirt (much better than his old baggy ones, or so he was told) over his head. "As it is, I'm not in the mood. If you want a hummer, do it yourself."

"Okay." Jack retorted grinned like a sexy, naked, dishevelled Cheshire cat as Alex pulled on his socks and shoved his feet into sneakers before swinging the bag onto his shoulder and disappearing up the ladder.

* * *

Ianto looked up at the familiar sound of someone descending the metal stairs, echoing and ghostlike in the Hub, which was otherwise empty, except for Toshiko, who had come in half an hour early to check on a new invention of hers, which she had been keeping very quiet about. He looked up from the coffee machine to see Alex, tying his damp hair back as he went. The young man flashed him a wide, innocent smile that would have fooled _almost_ anyone.

"Good morning." Ianto greeted his friend, colleague and casual lover.

"_**Bore da**_." The boy replied, jumping the last few steps "How was that?"

"Not bad," Ianto smiled as Alex bent down to grab a can of coke from the bar fridge "soon, we'll be able to pass you off as a native."

"I'm a fast learner," Alex smirked as he popped the tab "given the proper incentive. Speaking of which…"

"It's Wednesday." Ianto cut him off before he could finish.

"So?"

"Wednesday is 'rest day'." Ianto replied "Check the timetable."

"Rest, schmest." Alex waved his hand dismissively, something he often did when he heard something he didn't like "Who needs a rest? I don't need a rest."

Just then, the large circular door turned back with a rumble, and Gwen emerged. She strolled over, smiling gratefully as Ianto passed her a steaming mug off coffee. Alex immediately stood to attention. She took a sip, gave Ianto a conspiratorial wink, and turned to face Alex, fighting to maintain a straight face.

"In the movie 'Clueless'," She enunciated each word slowly and carefully, deliberately dragging out the tension "what did Cher's biological mother die of?"

"Complications during plastic surgery." There was a long, pregnant pause.

"Correct." Gwen drew a lollipop from her jacket pocket and tossed it to Alex, who caught it in his free hand, tearing the wrapper off with his teeth before cramming it in his mouth. Ianto smiled.

Since his joining, late last year, each member of the Torchwood team had taken it upon themselves to help Alex integrate into society, after spending most of his childhood as a prisoner, and his early teens as a drifter. It had been mostly Gwen's idea. Alex was a young, attractive, gay man in the social centre of Cardiff. It was time he looked and acted the part. He had picked up a bit, over the years, but not enough to really pass himself off as an ordinary eighteen year old

Gwen covered pop culture, a topic he found incredibly dull, surprisingly, but it seemed that she, too, had found the 'proper incentive'. Ianto watched as Alex sucked unabashedly on the lollipop, the white stick moving from side to side.

"If you eat much more of those, you're going to rot your teeth." He warned.

"Oo wiff oo were the wowipop." Alex replied, not bothering to take it out of his mouth. Ianto's retort died on his lips as Alex swirled the sweet around his mouth, humming with obscene pleasure, like some sort of porn star. He pulled it free with an audible pop. "Admit it," Alex grinned "you want me."

"I think we've already established that," Ianto deadpanned "Every Monday and Friday, actually."

"But you want me all the time." Alex clarified "And how could you not? I mean look at me: I'm sexier than sexed up sex!"

"Not to mention modest." Ianto rolled his eyes.

Alex was saved from responding by Owen's sudden entry, heralded by his moaning and bitching about what was apparently the worst hangover ever. The way he was carrying on, one would think he'd been tied down and _forced_ to drink God knows how many pints.

"I don't suppose you could make yourself useful and make me a coffee?"

"We're all out." Ianto called back "Gwen got the last of it." Owen looked at Alex expectantly. The boy sighed theatrically.

"Alright, I'll go get the bloody coffee." He moved over to the petty cash jar and grabbed a couple of ten pound notes. "I need more underwear anyway. Anybody else want anything?" It slipped out before he realised it. He slapped his head and groaned as orders were fired at him from every direction. He grabbed a piece of paper and a pen.

"Okay people, let's try this again. Slowly."

To Be Continued...

A/N: Don't worry people, it's gonna get better. There's gonna be ACTION!! ROMANCE!! TEARS!! KARAOKE!! This chapter was basically a brief re-introduction to the characters, and how they get along with Alex after he's been hanging around for a while.

**_Bore da_** - Good morning.

What, you were expecting something else? Get your minds outta the gutter! And remember, the update machine runs on reviews! The more I get, the faster it goes!


	2. All In Favour?

A/N: Okay, so a _part_ of the plot begins in this chapter. I'll shall warn you right now that there are multiple plotlines working in this fic, and the early chapters may be a bit hectic and confusing, and it is very likely the entire story will collapse into a great big,incoherent mess. But I shall persevere!

Also,someone asked me to post the 'timetable' for clarity, (it's actually more like a weekly rota). This made me realise I'd gotten it wrong in the last chapter. Ianto had THREE days with Alex, and one was Tuesday, but Alex woke up on Wednesday, and was in bed with Jack. I've gone back and fixed that, and the rota goes something like this:

SUNDAY: Ianto & Jack

MONDAY: Ianto & Alex

TUESDAY: Jack & Alex

WEDNESDAY: Rest

THURSDAY: Ianto & Jack

FRIDAY: Ianto & Alex

SATURDAY: Jack & Alex

Hope that clears it up.

**kateg123: **ME! And the move doesn't actually happen until the end of June. In fact, writing this now takes precedence over schoolwork, because in order to get any substantial credit for the course, I have to do the full two years, which I am now not. I stillhave to do the homework, but it's hardly urgent. And no, the thing with Nina isn't over yet. The best villains never truly die.

**muppetmadness: **He is, isn't he? Well, teenagers always think they're invincible, and Alex practically KNOWS he is. Expect to see him get taken down a peg or two in future chapters. When I was thinking of a 'pop culture' question for Gwen to ask Alex, that sort of just popped into my head. I haven't seen 'Clueless' in years, but that bit always stuck with me. Oh, and thanks, I love my Ianto too.

**Tomkat: **Well...Alex is gay...and fictional...so if you are male, and also fictional, I'm sure he'd be happy to squeeze you in (I laugh on the inside at this point. I have such a dirty mind). I'm glad you enjoyed my last fic. If all goes well this one'll be a real roller-coaster ride. And yes, that did sound bad, but in a good way.

**Kazz the 13th: **Karaoke was a last minute idea, but yes, I intend to fit it in, even if it's just a break from all the confusing plot. I dunno what Alex will sing, or even if he'll be available to (I can't say more without giving it away). My two CONFIRMED singers are Gwen and Ianto, and maybe Toshiko at a later point in the story. Gwen's song is decided on already, but if anyone has suggestions for Ianto, please put them in your reviews or PM me (I have a good one in mind, but will use a better suggestion if I get one). I have also decided the song for Toshiko, whether she sings or not. And yes, there will be a threesome. Maybe even two. In fact, I think you'll get an idea of how quickly it'll happen when you read this.

**vixengreen: **Of course there's a rota, I said there would be, didn't I? I'm carrying over a lot of jokes and plot stuff from "Headcase", which is why it's so important that people read it before they read this.

**el-retardo69: **What kind of "Torchwood" fan would I be if I couldn't make Jack even kinkier than normal? Of course, from what I've seen of series two, he gets a lot kinkier (why isn't it here yet?) so maybe mine is actually a little toned down.

**Ne'ith5: **Yes.

**Amelia McDermid: **More story, or more sleeping with Jack? Both will happen, so I guess it doesn't matter.

**sci.girl382: **Is it really that creepy? I mean, it's not something _I_ would do, but for Jack, that's pretty much par for the course. When you think about it, in a normal workplace, most of his behaviour would be construed as sexual harassment. Also, I figure that Jack cares about all his sexual partners, in his own way, and would probably want something to remember them by (I suppose he could just take photos or what have you, but I thought this would be more interesting.)

**DISCLAIMER: **I don't own a lot of things. Torchwood is one of them.

**WARNING:** Confusing violence, a very bland death, characters behaving stupid for story purposes, mentions of spanking (that's a new one for me) and other sex things.

**TWO: ALL IN FAVOUR? **

Alex sighed and wished he hadn't worn his earpiece for such a simple chore. People were looking at him weird. Well, they'd be laughing on the other side of their faces when Jack called to…ask for a muffin, or something equally stupid. Okay, so his talents were being underused. But, considering that "freaky mind powers" was the only thing he could put on his curriculum vitae, he was lucky to be working at all. People like him weren't exactly in demand. Sighing again, he stopped to readjust the large bag of cheap underwear. Maybe that was what was causing the odd looks?

Before he had the chance to spiral into depression (_again_), he was jolted by a scruffy, unkempt man who ran past, shoving Alex aside without as much as a "by your leave". He turned, intending to cuss out the rude man, as well as people in general. He froze, mouth half open, when he caught the gleam of sunlight, reflecting of the metal object clasped tightly in the man's hands. He couldn't make out what it _was_ exactly; but normal people didn't run around like headless chickens, clutching harmless handfuls of loose change. With that brilliant little piece of logic, he made chase, taking care not to spill Owen's coffee.

Now he was the shover, as opposed to the shove, he showed no consideration to his fellow pedestrians, even going so far as to use one man as a springboard when he stooped to tie his shoe. His mind was focused on the pursuit, blind to all else. The pavement flew beneath him; the wind whistled past his body, he hurdled over fire hydrants with ease. His heart slammed repeatedly against his chest, trying to break out. What a rush! He'd forgotten how good it felt be on the hunt, it was like he'd suddenly awoken from a deep sleep.

He was almost disappointed when he turned a sharp corner, and found his prey backed up against a dead end, whimpering, one hand wrapped around the metal object, clutching it to his chest. Alex raised his hands in what he hoped was a placating gesture, to show he was armed with nothing more than coffee and boxers. The tall, gaunt man cowered and shoved back against the wall, as if hoping it would swallow him up.

"Don't kill me!" He cried, as tears and mucus dribbled down his whiskery face. Alex managed not to recoil at the sight.

"I'm not going to hurt you," he said, in his most soothing tone of voice "just put the…thing down, and step away from it."

"Please!" The man sobbed "I'll do anything!"

"Weren't you listening?" Alex huffed, exasperated "I'm not going to hurt you." He took another step towards the cowering man. He stopped, foot suspended in midair, as he felt the familiar chill of cold metal, and the distinct shape of a gun barrel pressing ruthlessly into the nape of his neck. An unfamiliar, gravelly, disembodied voice spoke behind him.

"I think he was talking to _us_."

* * *

"What's taking so long?" Owen whined "I want my coffee!"

"Shut up about your bloody coffee!" Gwen threw a paper ball at Owen. Jack ignored them, instead reaching for his earpiece.

"Alex, what the hell is going on?"

* * *

"I'll take that." The second voice was less raspy, but no less menacing. Alex flinched as an unseen hand reached out and yanked the earpiece from his ear. "And that." The paper 'Starbucks' cup was pried from his hand.

"Up against the wall," the first voice ordered. Alex was torn between curiosity and commonsense. The gun poked him in the small of the back when he didn't move. "Now!" Wanting to see how this played out, Alex walked forwards until his body was pressed flush against the wall; the rough texture of the brick tickling the tip of his nose.

* * *

"No answer," Jack sighed, taking his finger off his earpiece. "I wanted him to bring me back a muffin."

* * *

"Drop the boxers and put your hands on your head!" Gravel-voice ordered.

"Ooh!" Alex quipped "I like where this is going."

"Don't get cute!" Pain blossomed in his head like fireworks as what felt like the barrel of the handgun smacked across the back of his head, slamming him forwards, into the wall. Again, commonsense told him he could break the stranger's neck with a mere roll of his eyes. But where was the fun in that? He dropped the bag on the ground before slowly and deliberately placing his hands on his head.

"I guess we'd better off you first, huh?" Gravel-voice said, pressing the gun painfully hard against the back of Alex's head. "We don't want any witnesses, do we?"

Okay. Curiosity was officially sated. This had gone far enough. Just as Alex was about to give the man a backwards kick in the crotch, the snivelling guy in the corner decided to make a bid for freedom. The gun was lifted from the back of Alex's neck; there was a gunshot, and a soft thump. It was a Wednesday morning, in broad daylight. Someone was bound to have heard, and that someone would then call the cops.

Alex spun on his heel and stomped on his would-be assailant's instep, quickly followed by an elbow to the stomach. He grabbed the man by the front of shirt, and slammed him against the wall, before pressing a knee on his wrist, forcing him to drop the gun, which Alex then kicked away before letting the man drop.

Alex turned to see that the companion was diving for the metal object, which had rolled out of the dead man's grasp. He quickly moved over and stomped on the guy's hand just as his fingertips grazed its smooth surface. Alex had quickly decided that if this thing was worth killing for, he definitely wanted a look at it, and Jack would too. He mashed his other foot into the guy's face, forcing him to the ground. Still standing on the man, who was sobbing about something (a wrist maybe?) which was supposedly broken, Alex bent down and picked up the metal sphere.

It was just the right size to nestle comfortably in his palm, a dull silvery-grey in colour, and had no distinguishing markings or lumps or anything. It hadn't even been scratched from the fall.

He was alerted by police sirens in the distance. The man underneath him grabbed Alex's ankle with his free hand and tugged him to the ground, before standing himself and running off. "Gravel" had slipped off unnoticed already. Alex stood, or rather, sat his ground as the sirens approached, making a run for it would just make things worse. He took the now empty coffee cup, which lay nearby, and slipped the sphere in it before replacing the lid.

"Underwear, coffee, a corpse and me" he muttered to himself "this should be fun to explain."

* * *

The _new_ Torchwood SUV, (identical to the last; Jack had revealed the existence of a whole garage full of them), screeched to a halt at an alley that had been barred by crime scene tape. The doors opened and Jack and Gwen disembarked. They stormed through the police officers, apparently oblivious as the parted like the red sea before Moses. Jack stopped and stared at Alex, who, thanks to a late growth spurt, now came up to his chin (the perfect height for necking).

"You are in _big _trouble, young man!" Jack growled. Alex looked more aroused than afraid. "I swear, when I get you back to the Hub, I'm going to bend you over my knee and-"

"You can't," Alex interrupted "it's Wednesday, remember?"

"Oh yeah," Jack snapped his fingers "damn. I hate Wednesdays."

"Don't blame me," Alex shrugged "I wanted it to be threesome day."

"Second!" Gwen raised her hand. They stared at her. "What?"

"Is this boy a friend of yours, Captain?" The trio turned to stare at the owner of the disembodied voice. A slender, woman in a dark blouse and charcoal pencil skirt strode towards them. Jack broke out his 'cute' grin.

"Detective Swanson," He enthused "how good to see you." She ignored his greeting.

"I ask because, just a few months ago, in early December, you had us on the lookout for people matching this boy's description."

"I did?" Jack's smile faltered.

"Blonde, green eyes, average height, slim, muscular build," she pointed out the features on Alex as she listed them "sound familiar?" Alex turned to Jack, outraged.

"You set the cops on m-mmf?" Alex's outburst was muffled by Jack wrapping a hand around his mouth. The captain responded smoothly, as though Alex had never spoken.

"Of course I remember," he smiled in what he probably assumed was a reassuring manner "but, if I remember right, I also said he would be naked, and, as you can see, _this_ boy is clearly clothed." he gave Alex a brief once-over. "Although, if I get my way, not for very long."

"Why must you insult my intelligence?" Kathy Swanson demanded. "The boy is _clearly_ the same one you were out to arrest, just three months ago, and now he's working for you!"

"Well…" Jack trailed of and turned to Gwen, who shrugged. He looked to Alex, who was still silently fuming. He looked back to the detective "Well, even if he is, we're special ops, and we can hire whoever we want. It just so happens that we even have a Pterodactyl on staff. I bid you good day."

With that, Jack turned and marched back to the SUV, dragging a stumbling Alex by his face. Gwen turned to Kathy and slipped on her 'tough guy' sunglasses.

"We'll be taking over the investigation from here," She intoned robotically "have a nice day." She then dashed after Jack, calling for him to wait.

* * *

Jack waited until they were out of sight of the crime scene before turning to Alex. Gwen sat in the back so that Jack could yell at him properly, without having to turn all the way around.

"You wanna tell me what was so important that you had to go and create a crime scene?"

"This." Alex smiled triumphantly, tipping the empty coffee cup over. The metal orb fell into his lap. Jack stared.

"What is it?"

A/N: Hmm, not really sure that this chapter worked out the way I wanted it too, but the plot is still on track, and that's the important thing. I think the characters are a little OOC here, but then, I think they always are when I write them. I hope you all enjoyed the return of Detective Swanson, I'm not sure if she'll get another look in this time. I'm hoping to give all the character's roughly equal fic-time, although Jack, Ianto and Alex will have slightly more, as they are all at the centre of their own storylines. (Believe it or not, this is actually the start of Ianto's plotline, Jack's and Alex's come later.)

Reviews make the update train arrive on time! And don't forget your suggestions for Ianto's big karaoke debut!


	3. Sensationalist Media

A/N: See? The system works. I typed this up just this evening, and I'm feeling pretty good about it. No obvious spelling or grammar mistakes. On the downside, there's still no threesome, but the day isn't over yet! Oh, and see if you can guess who Alex's forgotten "costume party shag" was. It should be pretty easy.

**vixengreen: **Yes, I agree, parliament should get to work on that. "The bill for weekly mandatory threesomes". Somehow, I think it would be passed pretty easily.

**muppetmadness: **If _you're_ sadistic just for wanting it, then what does that make me? Well, to be fair, the object _does_ have a purpose, but it's extremely useless on its own. And now I think about, I will have Kathy appear more often. I hadn't thought much about Ianto's plotline, because more happens to Jack and Alex, but now I think Kathy will be the perfect antagonist, and a great source of comic relief. I'm glad you find ALex amusing, he's the sort of person I've always wanted to be (confident and funny, that is, not a slut).

**kateg123: **I was really happy to see your review. If I'm gonna make them OOC, I'm gonna make them the best OOC's in this entire fandom! And I love when people quote my stuff. In fact, here's another one of your lines that always cracks me up ("Body Language" again):

"_"I'm playing a game; I'm not allowed to walk anywhere I have to travel by wheelie chair!" Said Greg triumphantly, like it was the best game in the world, "and in case you hadn't noticed, I'm winning."_ "

I actually used to do that all the time, wheelie chairs are awesome! I know I don't actually watch the show, but I would love it if you could find the time to write more CSI fics, they're funny as hell.

**el-retardo69: **Miss Congeniality reference? I haven't watched it for ages, so I'm not sure. I never reference anything deliberatly, it's an organic process, much like writing this fic. I only start out with a basic storyline (or in this case, three), and the brilliant characters (which I can't exactly take credit for) fill in the rest.

**Amelia McDermid: **If both is what you want, then both is what you'll get. The orb is important to the story, but as you'll see when you read this, other things are going to happen that will make it a secondary concern.

**hotflower901: **It does, doesn't it? Adds a whole new meaning to the term "Hump Day". God, sometimes I even disgust myself.

**Kazz the 13th: **I made you dance? Well, that's a first. You'll see the karaoke tie-in in this chapter, but I still can't think of a reason for Gwen and Ianto to get up on stage. They'll have to be drunk or something, I dunno.

**Rai Guyver: **I hope you're as excited when you read this one.

**DISCLAIMER: **I don't own Torchwood, I'm merely abusing the characters in the worst possible way. But they seem to enjoy it, so...

**WARNING:** Swearing, violence, attempting to show Owen in a somewhat sympathetic light (I hear the guy has to put up with a lot of crap on the show as it is). Also, hugging. If any of that offends you, you shouldn't read this chapter. But since your reviews indicate that the vast majority of you are slavering for a threesome, I reckon I'm in the clear.

**THREE: SENSATIONALIST MEDIA**

Toshiko turned the metal sphere over in her hands, examining it carefully. Jack leaned over her shoulder. Gwen was at a nearby monitor, checking for the identity of the corpse. Owen, down in the medical bay, performed the autopsy on the dead man. It was fairly straightforward, a clean shot to the head, instant death. Well, not that clean, the entry wound was a small, neat red circle in the back. The exit had made a bit of mess though; the left side of his face had been blown to bits.

In order to avoid looking at the body (and because Jack wouldn't let him near the orb), Alex sat in the break area, reading. Since learning Welsh was part of foreplay, (and didn't count, according to Gwen) Ianto's contribution to Alex's education consisted of lending him books, everything from bulky history texts to his old Tintin comics. A love for the written word had been awoken in the young man and most days, the team would return from their latest mission to find Alex curled up on the couch, thoroughly absorbed, while the dishes washed themselves (literally). Currently, he was learning about the Napoleonic wars.

"I slept with a guy who wore a jacket like that." Alex said, absentmindedly "Years ago, when I snuck into a costume party."

"What?" Ianto moved over to where Alex was sitting.

"That jacket there." Alex pointed at the picture "I was underage at the time, but he said age wasn't a factor where he came from." He paused "He was actually a bit rough with me, I didn't like him much."

"What was his name?" Ianto asked, curious. Alex opened his mouth, and then shut it again.

"I can't remember," Alex said, finally "I think it started with 'J', or 'F'…oh well, I guess we'll never know." He shut the book and looked over to where Jack and Toshiko were working. "What's taking so long?" he groaned "Have you figured out what it does _yet_?"

"It doesn't appear to do anything." Toshiko shrugged "I've subjected it to every test I could think of, the only thing the CAT scanner could tell me is that it isn't hollow. The metal isn't anything you'd find on Earth though; it's sort of similar to the resurrection gauntlet…"

"Risen Mitten" Ianto corrected from his spot on the couch.

"But it doesn't appear to do anything at all." Toshiko finished.

"I have an idea!" Jack took the orb and the others all flinched as he flung it across the room. It hit the wall with a reverberating noise, and then fell to the floor, where it rocked from side to side and eventually came to a stop. They stared at it for a moment. Nothing

"Great," Alex leaned back and covered his face with his hands "I went to all that trouble for a giant ball bearing." He groaned. "Jack must've really fucked my brains out last night, 'cause I've been stupid all day." Ianto gave him a gentle pat on the back.

"Don't beat yourself up," he said "those men were wiling to kill to get it, so it must at least have monetary value, even if it doesn't do anything."

"Maybe we should just sell it," Alex muttered, staring at his shoes "then we could splurge on some sexy new uniforms, something with leather."

"I found something!" Gwen called form her seat. Desperate for a breakthrough of some kind, the others immediately clustered around her. Alex was at the back, struggling to peer over Jack's hunched shoulders.

"Our victim's name is Thomas Walton," she said "he worked part-time at a karaoke bar in London."

"London?" Toshiko asked, perplexed "what on Earth was he doing in Cardiff?"

"He was on the run, wasn't he?" Alex asked "That's what it looked like to me, maybe this was as far as he could afford to go. If your only work is part-time at a bar, you can't just run off to, say, Peru at a moment's notice."

"What did he do before that?" Jack asked.

"He worked in the mailroom at One Canada Square." Ianto's shoulders stiffened and Toshiko pressed her lips together tightly. Alex looked from them, to Gwen, who shrugged.

"One Canada Square?" Jack repeated as he turned and walked back to the metal orb, picking it up and holding it delicately, as though it might break. "That _is_ interesting."

"Why is it interesting?" Alex asked, looking to Gwen again.

"Don't ask me," she threw her hands in the air "before you came along, I was the one askin' stupid questions."

"Well," Alex huffed "if someone wants to tell me what's going on, I'll be watching television."

"What are you going to watch in the middle of the day?" Gwen asked, looking at her watch

"I dunno," Alex shrugged "the pre-watershed version of something?" He picked up the remote and pressed the on button.

"We interrupt this program for a breaking news bulletin." The television crackled.

"Now there's a coincidence." Ianto drawled, as they all turned to the television. "If this were a TV show that would be the most contrived plot device I've ever seen."

"This morning, police publicly announced the presence in Cardiff of Aaron Benton, the leader of a group of radical youth militants."

"Who?" Alex asked, followed by a cry of "Gah! That's me!" as his picture appeared in the upper right-hand corner of the screen. Oblivious to Alex's cry, the newsreader continued, unabated.

"Benton was incarcerated in the United States Penitentiary Administrative Maximum Facility, also known as ADX Florence, in Colorado, until late last year, when he managed to escape with outside assistance, killing several officers with his bare hands." The usually bubbly blonde newsreader was looking decidedly serious. "The public have been instructed to report to police if they spot Benton, and not to approach him, as he is to be considered armed and dangerous."

The team (including Owen, who had come upstairs to see what was going on), stared at Alex in shocked silence, he stared back.

"What?" He demanded finally "I didn't do any of that stuff! I wasn't even in ADX Florence! I've never even been to California!"

"Colorado." Ianto corrected.

"Whatever!" Alex waved Ianto's remark away "The point is, I'm _innocent_."

"But the TV just said-" Ianto began, before being conked on the head by a flying remote.

"Well you aren't fucking the goddamn TV!" Alex snapped, jumping to his feet. The lights flickered and the furniture began to shake, as did Alex, his eyes blazing with fury, fists clenching and unclenching. He glared at each member of the team in turn, daring them to make a move. He wanted, _needed_ to injure something, to kill something. He wanted to grab the nearest person and punch them and punch them and punch them, until the anger went away.

"Okay mate," Owen took a wary step forward "just calm down." Alex turned to him and the medic was thrown across the room, slammed brutally against the wall. Toshiko ran and knelt by him, helping to his feet as he coughed blood. Jack raised his hands, attracting Alex's glowing glare. He walked around Alex, as if they were separated by an invisible border, but made no move to touch him.

"Alex, listen to me!" The boy's eyes were a solid green now, no pupil or sclera; just a bright, jewel-like green that glowed in the erratic darkness of the hub. "I believe you when you say you're innocent," He walked towards the young man, achingly slowly. As he got closer, he could make out, in the bursts of light, glistening tear tracks running down either side of his face "but we can't help you unless you stop what you're doing, before you hurt someone."

"He _already_ hurt me!" Owen called from across the room.

"Not enough to stop you talkin', apparently." Gwen called back. Jack continued to move forwards, oblivious to the snide comments being tossed about.

"Alex, can you hear me?" Jack was a mere foot away from him now "This has to stop." As if his words held some magic power, the lights came back on, and the computers restarted their soothing hum. The couch came to a dead halt, a good two feet from its previous position.

Jack pulled Alex to him, crushing the boy to his chest, muffling his screams of frustration and rage, which soon subsided into sobs. Jack simply stroked his back and made soothing sounds, as he had done for all of them, on more than one occasion. But that was Jack Harkness for you. The man was mysterious, deadly, not to mention immortal, but he always knew when somebody needed a hug. He'd turned it into a fine art.

Eventually, Alex went silent and extricated himself from Jack, taking a few steps backward. He looked around him, as if noticing their audience for the first time. He covered his eyes as his cheeks burned bright pink with ignominy.

"Oh god," he deadpanned "crying like a girl in front of the whole team; how embarrassing." He collapsed.

A/N: Hoorah! I managed to get a whole three chapters in before he was rendered unconcious. If you're wondering why, the explanation will be in the next chapter, but after that it'll be mostly hot mansex (or at least, everything leading UP to it). Poor Alex, held at gunpoint, threatened with a spanking, accused of terrorism on national television, what next? You'll have to review if you wanna find out!


	4. It's Still Wednesday?

A/N: This is a short chapter, but that's not the reason I'm ashamed of it. It starts out very sweet and slightly angsty, before quickly deteriorating into porn. Since I didn't actually WRITE the explicit sex bits, I'm gonna maintain that this still only needs a 'T' rating, and I'm gonna hope nobody reports me, since I generally just agree to the guidelines without reading them.

Also, I'm not very sure if the foreplay is any good, I'm hoping my vivid imagination will make up for lack of any experience. And I apologise in advance to Gwen fans, for making her completely retarded _again_. I don't know why I keep doing it. She's really not that bad.

For those of you who get the squicks when it comes to the boylove, I put in line breaks where it begins and ends. Or you could skip this chapter altogether and still pick up the story in chapter five, but leave a review anyway, and just pretend it was awesome, okay? And don't forget, if you have a particular song you want to see Ianto, Jack, or Owen sing, you still have loads of time to put in your suggestions, via review or PM.

**kateg123: **Not much in the way of actual plot this chapter, I'm afraid, but there MIGHT be some character development (I'm not too sure). I read "Poker Night" and was pleasantly surprised. For people who don't like the pairing, the Jack/Gwen interaction can be interpreted as Jack's ordinary flirting behaviour, and it was, over all, hilarious (but I think it says something pretty definitive about me that I find the image of fully-clothed, pterodactyl riding Ianto infintely more appealing than topless Gwen.)

**Tomkat: **Oh boy, sounds like you're a real aficionado of the subject matter. Now I'm really worried. On another topic, your application has been approved, Wednseday nights are all yours (and any other day really, being fictional, Alex can be anywhere at anytime). The poor boy's practically champing at the bit. I've had to collar and chain him just to keep him under control. Just say the word and I'll let him go (or not, if that's what you prefer).

**vixengreen: **Oh, it's brought, it's brought BIG TIME. It may suck, but it's still _there_. As for the false accusations, well, chapter five will see a return to the plot.

**Kel Silverfox: **All in one go? Wow. Not even I do that for the really long stuff (not that either of these are very long, considering). I don't think anybody could make Ianto do something he doesn't want to. In order to help your case when presenting this as english revision, I've put in some difficult words, here and there. Actually, what education level are you at? If you're already in Uni, I dubt words like "leonine" and "arrythmic" will really help your case. Oh well.

**Amelia McDermid: **Nope, it wasn't Jack. It may or may not come up later, in this story or the next, I have to think of a way to make it fit. Writing this is like putting together a puzzle where all the pieces are the same shape and colour.

**el-retardo69: **Everybody wants a hug from Jack, he must be really good at them. And yes, Owen does look rather shifty, doesn't he? But he already shot Jack once, I doubt he'd try it again. I'm trying to avoid any Owen/Gwen bashing (failing miserably, but it's the thought that counts) and I plan to give Toshiko a much larger role. After Ianto, she's my favourite character (sorry, Jack, but you have enough fan girls/boys as it is).

**muppetmadness:** Well, crying is an embarassing thing for guys, and nobody really wants to be seen doing it. It's not really surprising that they might believe he was a terrorist, after all, they know what he's capable of, and his past is just as mysterious as any of theirs (except Gwen's, which is fairly boring). AND THANK GOD!! When I posted the last chapter, I was expecting a barrage of comments along the lines of "OMG, Torchwood One!?" and was actually a bit dissappointed when I didn't get any. I actually had to look up the real name of the building, so I think it's fair that Gwen wouldn't know the location of the Torchwood Tower, after all, the only thing she knows about it is that it's "in London".

**DISCLAIMER: **I don't own Torchwood. I DO rehearse chapters with sock puppets, but that's it. (I ran out of googly eyes, so "sock!Gwen" only has one.)

**WARNING: **Angst, M/M/M _almost_ smut, swearing and slight Gwen bashing, with just a sprinkling of fluff.

**FOUR: IT'S STILL WEDNESDAY?**

Alex stretched and released a leonine yawn, wincing as his stiff muscles protested the sudden movement. For once, there had been no horrible dreams. He rolled onto his stomach and propped his head up on his hands, taking a good look around. He wondered briefly what he was doing in Jack's bed again, and if he had time to find the place where Jack stashed his boxers. As he remembered the events leading up to his awakening, he buried his face in the pillow with an anguished groan, wishing the mattress would swallow him up, so he might never again see the light of day.

The dull, arrhythmic clank of boots on the ladder leading down forced him to roll over so he could face the intruder. Jack flashed him a smile so bright he literally had to cover his eyes, before sitting on the edge of the mattress. It sunk a little, causing Alex to roll over. His face now pressed against Jack's thigh.

"How long was I out?" Alex asked

"A while," Jack replied "It's about seven thirty now. How do you feel?"

"Like shit." Alex mumbled, his voice muffled by Jack's trousers. "I have a headache as big as the gap in Gwen's teeth."

"Now that was uncalled for," Jack chided, trying not to smile "I won't stand for any staff-bashing; not to their faces at least."

"You've been very lenient so far." Alex retorted.

"It's a new policy; I'll have to remember to write it down somewhere. Anyway," Jack gave Alex a manly slap on the back "what's up with you?" Alex rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling, eyes vacant and expressionless.

"Is Owen okay?" He asked finally.

"Yeah, he's fine; you just knocked out one of his wisdom teeth, no real harm done."

"Good," compared to his earlier outburst, Alex's voice was flat and emotionless "I may not like him much, but it would be pretty stupid of me to kill off the team medic."

"How much do you remember?" Jack asked. "Before you fainted, I mean."

"Let's see," Alex sighed, his chest rising and falling in time "I was branded a murderer on national television, which, while technically true, still isn't very nice to hear. Then I threw the remote at Ianto, and it gets a bit blurry after that. I remember I hurt Owen, and then you were holding me." He released another ragged sigh, as though he were struggling not to cry again. "I lost control."

"It happens to the best of us," Jack ran a hand through Alex's hair "I remember once, I-"

"No, I mean I _really_ lost control." Alex insisted, still refusing to meet the older man's gaze "It was like something, _someone _else was working through me and it wasn't just you guys it was trying to hurt. Using up that much energy is exhausting, and dangerous. Not even I would be stupid enough to put myself in a coma."

"Yeah," Jack laughed "usually you just let other people do it." Alex smiled.

"But that's what it was. Somebody else was using my body, my powers. You have no idea how frightening that is." Alex laughed bitterly "But then, what do you have to be afraid of? You can't even die."

"I am scared," Jack admitted "all the time." Alex sat up

"How do you cope?" He asked making eye contact for the first time since Jack had entered the room.

"There are ways," Jack whispered, leaning in close "speaking of which, what would you say if I told you I managed to convince Ianto, just this once, to make Wednesday 'threesome day'?"

"I'd say: even after I brained him with the remote?"

"Just don't expect me to be gentle."

Alex gasped as a pair of _very_ cold hands wrapped around him from behind, slipping under his shirt (apparently Jack preferred his coma patients dressed) and caressed his hot skin. The sudden shock heightened the sensation all the more. Reaching behind him, Alex's hands encountered the smooth-yet-rough material encasing the Welshman's legs, which were apparently folded beneath him.

"Ianto," he managed to say, after several attempts "how long have you been there?" He was torn between marvel at the man's cat-like silence, and mortification at the thought of him eavesdropping.

"Not long," Ianto replied. His mouth went to Alex's neck, and one of his hands snaked its way into his jeans. He made a noise of pleasant surprise when he failed to encounter underwear of any kind.

"Yeah," Alex panted, eyes closed, head tilted back "you can thank Jack for that."

"Thankyou, Jack." Ianto said, perfectly serious. Alex opened one eye to see that Jack was still sitting perfectly still, and fully clothed.

"You know," he managed to say "it's not a threesome if you don't join in."

* * *

"Alright," Jack rolled his eyes "if I _have _to." He leaned forward and brought his mouth to Alex's for a mind-numbing kiss. When he pulled back, the boy's pupils were huge, encircled by impossibly thin irises. They seemed to be almost struggling to keep the darkness from bursting free and flooding his entire face.

Without warning, Alex lunged at him, pulling Ianto along, and plastered his mouth to Jack's, while his hands went around his neck and did something to make his RAF jacket disappear, quickly followed by suspenders, and then deft fingers were racing down his shirt, undoing his buttons so fast that they made an audible popping noise. Jack retaliated by removing Alex's shirt with a sharp tug, forcing all three of them to break apart momentarily, before joining again.

"Ianto," Alex warned, as buttons adhered to his back "take that shirt off or I'll _tear_ it off."

"_**Pwyllo**_," Ianto murmured, but began to unbutton it anyway.

"I love it when you talk Welsh." Alex moaned.

"You too?" Jack asked "I thought I was the only one."

"**_Fi m yn cerdded at fuck 'ch fel 'n anawdd anghofi 'ch enwa_**."

"I'm gonna go ahead and assume that was something very sweet and romantic." Alex said.

"_**Cadwch yn meddwl a.**_" Ianto whispered, in-between burning kisses trailing down Alex's spine. He stopped at the waistband of Alex's jeans, and began to fumble with the belt.

"How come I'm always the first one to get naked?" Alex complained, a little breathless because Jack was laving at his chest with a tongue so prehensile it ought to be classified as an extra limb.

"You're not naked," Jack grinned, looking up as Alex's pants slid down his legs, onto the floor "we left your socks on."

"It's still not fair." Alex jumped suddenly as Ianto poked him in the small of the back, and not with a finger. "I'm not going any further until you guys lose the pants." There was a chorus of zips and then the three of them were separated only by the rapidly eroding barrier of self control. They moved against each other, skin slick with sweat. The three men melded into a single, undulating mass of flesh.

* * *

Gwen peered through the glass walls, into Jack's office, surprised to see it was dark, and oddly quiet. She pushed open the door and walked around the desk, where she saw the hatch leading to his bedroom (she had snuck in one night, on a dare) was open. She leaned over it, peering in to see if she could make out anything.

"Jack" she called out, "are you down there?"

"Yes!" Jack's voice was unmistakable, but she didn't recognise the tone; a sort of keening wail…was he in pain?

"Um, the others and I were wondering, since there's not much goin' on, if we could go home early?"

"Oh God, yes!" There it was again. Filled with concern for their fearless leader, she leaned in closer.

"Jack," she called down, tentatively "are you okay?"

"Yes! Yes! Go for it! Go, go, go!"

"Alright," her voice faltered "I'll just be leavin' then, shall I?" She turned to leave.

"Faster! Don't stop!"

Gwen squealed and broke into a run as Jack's bellow reverberated up from his subterranean budoir and echoed around the room.

To Be Continued...

A/N: I have _no_ idea what they could possibly be doing that would make Jack shout "go, go, go!" (except "Thunderbirds" roleplay) so don't ask. (This is where actual experience would come in handy). To those of you looking forward to actual story, I apologise most profusely. To those of you who wanted the sex, well, I hope you don't wanna kill me for cutting it off there. Either way, please review! Without the positive feelings your comments generate, I'd be "Sylvia Plath"-ing myself into a gas oven instead of writing this!

I'm kidding about that last bit...kinda...

**_Pwyllo_** - "Calm down"

**_Fi m yn cerdded at fuck 'ch fel 'n anawdd anghofi 'ch enwa _**- "I'm going to fuck you until you forget your name" (or something to that effect)

**_Cadwch yn meddwl a _**- "You keep thinking that."


	5. Grounded

A/N: You'll be happy to know that your glowing reviews kept me alive long enough to write this. Sorry it took so long, you musta been scared for a minute, huh? I had a lotta stuff to do, and then when it came around to it, I just couldn't muster the willpower to write this. Writing is like a pack of Pringles: Once you start, you must NEVER, EVER, **EVER** stop, or else the whole fucking thing derails like Britney's career.

I noticed a few of you really liked the idea of "Thunderbirds" roleplay I guess there's something erotic about gay puppet incest, of which I was previously unaware (unless Jack was being Lady Penelope, but that just makes it even more disturbing).

On another completely unrelated note, I've been catching the new season of "Doctor Who" on Youtube. As much as I love Rose, I have to say Donna is a great companion, I don't know why people bitch about her (but I never saw "Runaway Bride" so maybe there's good reason). "Planet of the Ood" was my favourite episode of all time, I damn near CRIED. No kidding. Even thinking about now, I actually tear up a little. Is it wrong that I cheered when the PR woman got zapped? I mean, the woman was pure evil, she deserved to die. Also, in my opinion, the Ood are just plain adorable. They can do no wrong.

Anyway, back to the fic. I never have any idea what'll happen one chapter to the next. Oh sure, I have a vague idea of how I want the story to GO, but I have approximately less than zero idea how it gets there. But enough about that.

By the way, this chapter is dedicated to **el-retardo69**, for reasons I no longer remember, due to lack of sleep.

**Amelia McDermid:** Only alright? Usually your praise is so glowing, if brief. Nah, just kidding,you don't have to like everything I write. If you hate something,it is okay to tell me. I know some people get all precious about their work and will spam you with insults forever if you criticize their use of an oxford comma, but not me. I only do this for fun.

**Rai Guyver: **I'm glad you enjoyed it, and I hope you weren't waiting too long. I'm starting to find that "Headache" is an even more appropriate title than I ever imagined. right now, it hurts to even think about it.

**el-retardo69: **Okay, you got your dedication, like I promised. Something about finding me a better internet translator, I forget. I left Alex's socks on deliberately to piss you off, if you must know. Funnily enough, you're the only person to complain...

**XJazz-HandsX: **As much as I hate to think of anybody failing because of me, I can't help but feel a guilty little thrill. Good luck with science. Though, it's been so long, I'm sure you must've already failed by now.

**muppetmadness: **My opinion of Gwen has actually been drastically improved, thanks to a fanvideo I found on youtube set to "Two Guys (For Every Girl)", a song which I heard referred to as "the slasher's anthem" you should go check it out, it's pretty funny, and very well made.

**vixengreen: **I have to wonder why neither Ianto nor Gwen speak Welsh in any of the episodes? As the only Welsh characters in a show set in Wales, I would think they'd be obliged to toss in the odd phrase, here and there.

**kateg123: **Yeah...sorry about the Gwen bashing, I know you like her, but she's just so bashable! It's like shooting fish in a barrel, or beating a dead kangaroo with a stick (I say dead because no sane person would approach a live one, they are known to get pretty defensive, are quite decent boxers, and their kicks can kill a man. Koalas a pretty vicious too, but only if you touch them.) No manporn in this chapter, but there should be quite a bit more to come. And I was hoping somebody would quote that line. In every chapter, I have a few spread about that I hope get at least referenced, so you really made my day. Think you can spot one of them in this chapter? They're usually pretty obvious.

**coffeemagic: **You were on holiday? And hear I thought something really bad had happened to you. You have no idea how relieved I am. Your reviews always make me laugh. As much as I would love to get an actual Welsh person to do my translating, I think it would be for the best if you DIDN'T approach your flatmate about it. Any future use of the language will probably be insults and dirty talk.

**Kazz the 13th: **I'm not sure what you mean by "2/3 things". Did I get them right? Wrong? What was the third? Your review is a puzzle if ever I saw one. I hope you can give me the answer, or at least a hint in your next review.

**hotflower901:** I should think it would. I just wish I knew what it sounded like, on paper it looks very sexy, I imagine it could rival both spanish and french as the language of love, if not beat them both outright.

**SpringSnow: **The fact that you rarely review merely makes _me_ want to make _you_ review again! I'm glad you think I have been able to keep up the balance between humor angst and plot (you didn't mention sex, so I assume there's either too much or not enough). I find myself growing increasingly bored with fics that are only ever funny or angsty, a good plot should have room for both, as well as being intricately linked to your characters, so that you learn more about them at the same time (which can be tricky when you're basically interpreting someone else's characters).

I also know what you mean about the misuse of English, especially typos. They can't always be avoided (I know I make a fair amount of them), but seriously, after seeing 'definitly' spelled 'defiantly' at least fifty times? I have to wonder about some of these people. I'm glad you think I'm portraying Owen accurately, but I feel bad about giving him such a hard time. Whew, that was a long reply.

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own Torchwood, I just write fanfiction. Some of my original work is somewhat similar in concept, but that's neither here nor there. Also, sock!Gwen's other googly eye fell off and now I can't find it, so if she starts walking into walls and falling down stairs next chapter, it's not _totally_ my fault.

**WARNING: **A lot of small things, but nothing big enough to warrant being singled out. How about this: You TELL me what you think is offensive in this chapter, and I'll be sure to mention it next time, but don't bother mentioning violence or any LGB related stuff, 'cause without that, there would just be a forty-five minute slice of air-time where "Torchwood" USED to be.

**FIVE: GROUNDED**

Alex rolled the metal orb back and forth on the conference table, staring at it intently, ignoring the clatter and conversation around them as the team assembled to hear today's game plan.

_Do something, do something, do something, do something_, he mentally commanded it. The orb stubbornly refused to reveal its hidden powers. In his peripheral vision, Alex could just see Owen sitting to his left, either to show he wasn't afraid of Alex's "witchcraft" as he liked to call it, or because it was the only seat left. He ignored the man until his hearing was assaulted by a whiny cockney accent.

"You smell like sex." Owen bitched. Alex rolled his eyes. He couldn't count the number of times Owen had said that, regardless of whether or not Alex had even had sex.

"I'm surprised you know what sex smells like." He retorted half-heartedly, still preoccupied with the orb. His distorted reflection stared back at him.

"Okay people," Jack stood at the head of the table, arms folded "here's how we're going to do. As of now, Alex is confined to the Hub until further notice."

"What?" Alex looked up, surprised "The hell I am!" Gwen stood up and moved over to the screen in the wall behind Jack. An early morning news report flickered into existence; it had a rather unflattering picture of Alex, who the news reporter then called Aaron again, before recapping the story from yesterday, and reciting a long list of fictional atrocities that had supposedly led to his imaginary incarceration in the first place. Gwen then flicked to another channel with the same results, then another and another.

"Every channel is touting you as an international terrorist." She said "What are you going to do if someone up there recognises you?"

"Kill them?" Alex asked hopefully. She glared at him. "What? It'd be perfectly within expectations…fine!" He slumped in his chair and made a face. "I'll stay in the stupid underground base with the stupid alien artefacts and the stupid pterodactyl." Stupid Gwen and her stupid sensible arguments.

"Good," Jack said as Gwen went to sit down "now that's settled, we have no idea how long Alex will be down here before this thing blows over. Ianto, Toshiko, you guys head over to his apartment and get his clothes and anything else you think he needs. Gwen, you're coming with me to ask around the police station, find out where they got their information. Owen, you stay here and do…things."

"What sort of things?" Owen asked.

"I dunno, medical things."

"Maybe you and Alex could bond over a game of 'Operation'." Ianto suggested.

"No thanks," Alex said "last time I tried 'bonding' over a board game, I ended up with Monopoly money in my butt."

"And on that note, I hereby declare this meeting over." Jack thumped the table. "Let's get to work, people."

* * *

Ianto's car pulled up outside a fairly nice looking apartment building, with only occasional smatterings of graffiti. The payroll for Torchwood employees (even the errand boy) was significantly larger than that of most occupations. They were hardly millionaires, but you'd be hard-pressed to find another receptionist who got a "because you might die tomorrow" bonus.

"We're here." Ianto said, unbuckling his seatbelt, stepping out of the car and moving around to let Toshiko out. Who said chivalry was dead?

"Have you ever been here before?" she asked, "You know, when it's your…day?" She blushed slightly. The timetable was drawn on an A3 piece of cardboard, in bright primary colours, and displayed prominently on a wall across from her workstation, there were also rules written on it regarding public holidays and special occasions.

"Never," Ianto replied, looking over shoulder as Toshiko followed him to the building "I've only ever seen the outside of it. Usually, we go straight to my place, and then straight back to work the next day." He held open the door for Toshiko and they made their way across the abandoned lobby, to the dingy staircase on the other side.

"What about clothes and stuff?"

"He always has an overnight bag. He's very organized when it comes to sex." They stopped at Alex's door, a copper coloured '27' stood out against the chipped white paint of the doorway. Ianto fumbled with the apartment key Alex had grudgingly handed over to him. Finally, the lock clicked and Ianto pushed the door open, again allowing Toshiko to enter first.

The apartment was very clean (apart from a layer of dust), and quite well furnished, though the outward appearance of the building would suggest otherwise. In this case, though, it was well furnished in the sense of having lots of furnishings, as opposed to being furnished tastefully.

The door opened up to an open plan lounge/kitchen area, typical of most apartments. A leather beanbag chair faced a large television that rested on a crate. A DVD player and the latest video game consoles had been set up around it, cables tangling around each other like jungle undergrowth. DVDs and Games were piled haphazardly against a wall.

"I guess we know where his pay check goes." Toshiko said, looking around.

"At least we know he's not manufacturing explosives."

"Oh, I don't know." Toshiko eyed the home entertainment setup with a predatory gleam in her eye "Give me a screwdriver and a few minutes alone in here, I'm sure I could come up with something."

"Should I be scared?" Ianto asked, moving into the kitchen before she could reply. He opened up one of the overhead cupboards. They were stocked with pop tarts and sugary cereals, typical teenage fare. Alex's slight concession to the health craze was a loaf of wholemeal bread and a bowl of fruit. A quick scan of the boxes showed them all to be unopened. He went to the fridge.

"Having a snoop around are we?" Toshiko laughed. Ianto said nothing. She peered over his shoulder "What's wrong? You haven't found a head in there have you?" Ianto stepped back to give her a proper view. It was completely empty. They looked at each other before moving together to the bedroom.

A single bed rested against the far wall. If Ianto hadn't been suspicious before, he certainly was now. Alex was a fit, attractive young man with a libido to rival the entire cast of "Watership Down", and the bedroom could easily fit a bigger bed. Toshiko moved past him to the bathroom.

"It's sparkling clean!" she marvelled, her voice echoing slightly "The basin is completely bare, not even a razor or a toothbrush. Does he even live here?"

"Does anybody?" Ianto asked, as he noticed that the quilt and pillows of Alex's bed were also covered in dust. He moved to a wardrobe in the corner and opened it. Thankfully, it was full of clothes, definitely Alex's too, (Ianto recognised most of the articles from his floor). There weren't any underpants, but with Jack around, that was easily explained. Ianto reminded himself to restock before tonight. Toshiko walked out of the bathroom.

"Well at least you found his clothes." She looked at the perfectly made bed "Well, if he lives here, he certainly doesn't sleep. Does he go out, do you think? Or does he stay up all night, playing video games?"

Ianto thought back to the number of times he had woken up in the middle of the night, plagued by visions of metal women and meat cleavers. He remembered how much better he slept when someone else was with him.

"I think he has nightmares." Ianto said finally.

* * *

"Gwen!" PC Andy came bounding up to the SUV, bouncing from foot to foot like an excited puppy. Gwen stepped back in case he tried to lick her face. Jack stepped forward.

"Are you guys involved too?"

"Involved in what?" Gwen asked.

"The search," Andy replied, with a look that clearly said duh "for Aaron Benton. It's huge! People are coming from all over the place! The entire country's on the lookout!"

"Oh, right." Gwen said, recovering quickly "That's _exactly_ what we're here for. Why don't you take us inside and tell us everything you know?"

The station was a hive of activity. Police officers milled about, ferrying paper back and forth, taking calls from hysteric citizens, following every lead.

"Is this Aaron guy really that dangerous?" Jack asked "He's eighteen. _Barely_."

"Looks can be deceiving." Andy replied, looking over his shoulder at Jack "You don't look at all like a creepy pervert." Gwen broke out into laughter, poorly disguised as a coughing fit. She fell silent under the twin stares.

"Uh…sorry…just got a bit of asthma." Jack turned back to Andy.

"Who told you that?"

"She did." Andy pointed behind Jack. He turned to see a very forbidding female bearing down on them.

"Captain Harkness!" She called down the hallway "Mind if I have a word?"

"Anything for you, Kathy." Jack turned his smile up to full wattage. She didn't even blink. What was she, a lesbian? It was the only explanation.

"Somewhere private, if you don't mind." She turned her cold stare on Gwen as if she had only noticed her. "Bring your friend as well." They followed her as she took them down a far less populated corridor.

"Lesbian or a robot," Jack muttered "probably both."

"Did you say something, Captain?" Detective Swanson asked, rounding on him suddenly, like a school teacher on a disobedient student.

"No…nothing!"

A/N: I don't think Kathy is a lesbian or a robot (not in this fic anyway), Jack is simply trying to rationalize her apparent immunity to his charm. Speaking of Kathy, when I first needed Detective Swanson's first name, wikipedia told me it was Kathy, but now when I check back for any background info I could use (which I didn't find, by the way), it says her name is "Daphne"! So _then_ I check my Torchwood DVDs (which involved finding batteries for the remote just so I could get subtitles on) and it says her name is Kathy! It's right there! in bright white little letters! I know I'm probably making mountains out of mole hills, but the fact that wikipedia could get something so totally and obviously wrong frightens me somewhat.

Also, reviews are the spring from which the waters of creativity flow. Best not let me get dehydrated, comprende?


	6. Alone Time

A/N: Again, I apologise for the lateness. I was fleshing out ideas for a fic in another fandom, but it seems to be requiring an awful lot of research so I'm postponing it for now.

Onto the replies!

**kateg123: **Yes, it was one of the lines. Although, honestly, I'm happy when anybody quotes anything from my work. I got quite a few comments about the Monopoly game, actually, so I semi-explained it in this chapter, while hopefully keeping the mystery alive. I don't really mind Gwen as a character, I think what annoys me is that her and Jack hooking up on the show is pretty much a foregone conclusion (not to mention a tired cliche. Why does the plain girl always get the hot guy?) After all the character development she's been through, and the fact that she cheated on Rhys once already, I think her and Jack getting together would be a massive cop out. The best I can hope for is that they don't turn into the "Ross and Rachel" of science fiction. Is there already a Ross and Rachel of science fiction? I have no idea.

**muppetmadness:** I think Kathy is immune to Jack because, quite frankly, SOMEONE has to be. We can't all be tripping over our own lower jaws to get a taste of "Captain Innuendo". I see Kathy as Jack's "kryptonite", so to speak. Not only does she neutralise his apparently supreme sexiness (which is difficult), but she actually finds him annoying. I wish people wouldn't just cave in to his charm so easily. Especially Ianto. If some guy shot my robot girlfriend, I'd at least play hard to get.

**hotflower901:** Thursday is Jack and Ianto day, but Alex is stuck in the Hub anyway, and it would be kinda cruel to leave him on the couch. Owen is stll very much alive in this timeline. I swore off fic reading for a while after the second season came out, because it's not in Australia yet. But I wanted to incorporate small stuff from the second season in my sequel (you'll notice in "Headcase" there are references to some season one episodes). So I found some fairly detailed synopses of the second season episodes on the net, and I was thrown for a loop, especially by the last one. So, from here on in, consider this officially AU, in that I'm including parts that work for me, and cutting out ones that don't. Owen being dead is a complication this fic could do without.

**vixengreen: **I always make sure I'm alone when I read fanfics for that EXACT reason. And yes, I agree that a "hug" is exactly what he needs. He'll probably get it too, lucky bastard.

**Kazz the 13th: **I guess it doesn't matter now, as long as you keep reading. Whether it was 2/3 things I got right, or 2/3 things I fucked up utterly, I shall endeavour to deliver the highest quality chapters I can in the time usually take to write, edit and post one (usually less than twenty-four hours, the rest of the week is spent THINKING about writing).

**Amelia McDermid:** Well, I hope this counts as keeping it up. Considering I don't give equal time to all my chapters (and they usually don't get very much at all), it's understandable that some would be of lesser quality. I hope you like this one.

**SpringSnow: **Wow, that is a long review. I hardly ever review a fic, but when I do, I tend to come back and review new chapters. For the stuff I really like, I prefer to advertise it in my fics, and try to get the word around. Very few people click past the first page in a list of fics (I remember when the Torchwood section had under 500 fics in it, and all the smut was Jack/Ianto). And congratulations for quoting the most lines from one of my chapters EVER! You've earned gold in the Quote-a-thon at the Quote-lympics. Congratulations, **SpringSnow**, you win the no-prize!

**sci.girl382: **I'm glad you liked that line. I was worried that people would be upset with me for insinuating kathy was a lesbian (although, considering it IS Torchwood, that's always a possibility). There isn't as much funny stuff in this chapter, but I hope you find a line that makes you laugh anyway.

**Ne'ith5: **Considering how annoyed Kathy gets whenever she encounters Jack, I doubt she ever has time to consider his sex appeal before she's reminded of how annoying he is by yet another visit. No need to worry about me just yet. I never leave a fic half finished. Or at least I haven't yet, and don't intend to.

**coffeemagic: **No matter how many times I read your latest review, it never gets any less hilarious. I have yet to visit Rome, but I have been to Paris, with a stopover in Japan (I walked around our Tokyo hotel all day with my fly open, and didn't notice until I was back in the room). What's really sad is that I hear from you far more regularly than I do from any of my so-called friends. I guess it just goes to show that fanfiction is the way to go when you're looking to meet new people (bad news for the dating website industry). Kudos for being the ONLY person to reference my "Watership Down" line! Sorry if I traumatized you, but winning gold in the "Most Unique Quote" event of the Quote-lympics will hopefully be worth the untold amounts of therapy you'll have to endure. Congratulations, **coffeemagic**, you win the _other _no-prize!

P.S. I also enjoy our chats. Probably more than a sane person should.

**el-retardo69: **It may seem like a bit of effort to go to, but for some reason, any research I do in relation to my own writing doesn't actually feel like homework. Must be some sort of brain thing.

**GIMMICK: **Do you have a suggestion for the "Ross & Rachel" of the sci-fi scene? PM me with your suggestions (or stick them in your reviews). They can be from any sci-fi fandom. Let's get those suggestions in, people! I'll put the list in the next chapter.

**DISCLAIMER:** I don't own Torchwood. If I did, it would be the "Jack & Ianto Smut Show, But Don't Blink Or You'll Miss Gwen". Although that seems to be where it's heading _anyway_. Hmm...

**WARNING:** Stuff. Stuff and things

**SIX: ALONE TIME **

A sharp crunch. Owen's eyes snapped open, his face a mask of irritation. He sat up and turned to the side. Sitting across from him, on the break area coffee table, was Alex, chewing noisily, packet of crisps in hand.

"Watcha doin'?" Alex asked, with his mouth half full. Even if Owen had been remotely attracted to the boy, any such inclinations were immediately squashed by that sight. When he compared Alex's attitude towards him with the way he behaved to Ianto and Jack, he began to suspect that Alex was making a very deliberate effort to appear unattractive to him. Not that he needed to.

"I'm _trying_ to get some sleep." Owen grumbled, lying back down on the couch "I have a hell of a hangover."

"Maybe you shouldn't drink so much." Another crunch.

"Maybe _you_ shouldn't talk so much."

"Wanna play a board game?" Alex asked "I think I saw Battleship lying around somewhere". Another crunch. Owen left out a soft snort.

"After learning how you play Monopoly? No thanks."

"It wasn't how it sounds, okay?" Alex defended "The guy I was playing with had a hotel on Mayfair, and I couldn't afford the rent, so-"

"Not listening!" Owen crammed his fingers in his ears and turned away, singing loudly. Alex rolled his eyes and lobbed the empty crisp packet at Owen's head before standing and turning away.

"Fine, I have better things to do than swap stories with you. Not that you would have any stories to swap."

* * *

Alex did indeed have several better things to do, but they all required privacy. After deliberating between the cold hard floor of the shooting range (which he never set foot in anyway, having flatly refused to learn how to handle a gun) and the comforting warmth of Jack's room, he chose the latter. Now he thought about it, he'd been using Jack's room a lot lately.

Making sure Owen was still singing, Alex crept, catlike, up the steel stairs as fast as he dared. He slipped through the partly opened glass door and made his way over to the closed hatch that led to Jack's sleeping quarters. Even though he had been there just that morning, (ensconced between two naked bodies, no less), sneaking into Jack's private space like this felt like a violation, after all, this was where the man slept, ate, and presumably hid his stash of ill-gotten undergarments. His hand stilled on the trapdoor.

He mentally slapped himself. It was just a room, for god's sakes, it wasn't like he was planning to urinate on the shroud of Turin. He just needed somewhere he wouldn't be interrupted, and Jack's room was a perfect option. He steeled himself and with a sharp turn, the hatch swung open silently.

He clambered down the ladder, jumping the last few rungs, deciding to leave the hatch open so he didn't get locked in. Jack's bed took up most of the space in the room, with only a thin margin of carpet around it, so he could access the bathroom and a wardrobe set in the wall. Even with the bed being as big as it was Alex had nearly fallen off the edge a number of times. Jack was a sprawler.

Alex clambered on the bed, stopping to remove his shoes and the band tying his hair back, letting it hang loose around his face. He lay on his back in the middle of the bed and stared at the roof for a moment before letting his eyes drift shut. It was a regular exercise. One he should have been doing more often. As much as he despised the teachings of the Insitute (which had mostly been trial and error, and had even resulted in a few deaths) he had to admit that they had their uses.

He didn't like to refer to it as meditating. There was no humming, or visualising of peaceful forests and other nonsense. Just him and the rhythm of his own breathing, as the power unfurled.

He had been using his abilities less and less of late. He had let himself become afraid of them, and now he was losing control. Dreams, hallucinations, and now his latest outburst, something was wrong and he would have to get to the bottom of it before he really hurt someone.

In his mind's eye, the power was coiling around him in softly-glowing tendrils, creating a pleasurable weight and warmth, like a sleeping dog. So far everything was as it should be. He let it pull him under slowly and gently, until he was completely immersed. Completely lost to the sensation now, he fell deeper, gaining speed, plunging into the source of his own power. Though there was no sound, and nothing to see except softly glowing, undulating walls of white, he still felt the change. It was like diving headfirst into a pool of ice cold water.

He gasped in shock and was immediately jolted back into the waking world. He glanced at his hands, which had reflexively grasped at the sheets and were shaking slightly. Goosebumps had sprouted up and down his arms. He gritted his chattering teeth and forced his body to relax. He had never encountered anything like that before. He also hadn't delved that deep inside himself before.

The human mind was a strange, dangerous, bubble-filled place, and Alex knew that better than anyone. And though his abilities stemmed from his mind, he had always suspected that the exact part they originated from was somehow separate. Being in his head and being in his (pending the invention of a more accurate word) power were two linked, but totally different things. Now if only he could explain it without sounding crazy. He gritted his teeth, closed his eyes and tried again.

This time it went much faster, and he braced himself for the sudden transition of temperatures. Invisible needles of ice pricked his not-skin, and it was difficult to breath, almost as if he really were underwater. He reminded himself that he couldn't actually drown and forced himself down further before he could ask how he knew when he'd never done it before. A fuzzy black-red mass came into sight, and he moved closer to it.

It grew bigger, but no clearer, and seemed to pulse and throb angrily. It scored across the immaculate white like an ugly, gaping scar. Alex's gut lurched as he felt a stab of pain, a deep, poisonous pain akin to an infected wound. He had no idea what it was, but it didn't belong here. He reached out tentatively.

There was a flash of blinding light. He was thrown from the bed and hit the wall before falling to the floor. His head felt like it had been split in two and his gut still burned from where he had been…struck? It was difficult to say. Whatever it was had definitely attacked him, but explaining how would require a complete overhaul of the English language, and probably all the others as well.

He shakily pushed himself onto all fours and, not trusting his own sense of balance for the moment, crawled the short distance to the bed and clawed his way onto it. He wrapped himself in the sheets in an effort to dispel the bone-deep chill. As warmth gradually returned to his body, he debated the pros and cons of making a third attempt, but was interrupted by faint voices wafting from the open hatch above. Ianto and Toshiko had returned.

* * *

The sound of footsteps distracted Ianto from Owen's babbling as he tried to explain Alex's sudden absence to an extremely unamused Toshiko. Alex descended the steps from Jack's office, his face partially covered by his long hair. He clutched the railing as he suddenly stumbled and Ianto followed the young man's gaze to a united shoelace. Toshiko and Owen didn't notice his presence until he reached the foot of the stairs, and then she rounded on him.

"Where have you been?" She demanded "You didn't leave the Hub did you?"

"I was in Jack's office," Alex explained with a bright, brittle smile that didn't reach his eyes "filing. There were some files that needed filing, so I…filed them."

It was a blatant and obvious lie, but there was something in the tone of his voice that told Ianto it would be wiser not to pry. If Alex felt like he needed to share anything, he knew he could come to any of the team. Maybe even Owen, if it was important. Until then, it would be best to steer clear of the topic. Luckily, she had already been distracted by something else.

"Alex?" she asked, stooping slightly to stare in his eyes "Are you alright? You're very pale." Ianto took a proper look at the boy's face. He was white as a sheet, and his expression was glassy and listless. Toshiko placed a hand on his forehead. "You're burning up!" she exclaimed.

"Funny." Alex mumbled, sounding decidedly less chipper than he had a moment ago "I feel cold all over."

"Probably just a fever," Ianto interrupted before Toshiko could get too nosy "there's a bug going around. Lie down and I'll go make you a hot drink." He moved to the kitchenette and tried to find a way of fulfilling his promise without making coffee (he couldn't even convince Alex to try his secret blend), or microwaving a can of coke. Finally, after much searching, he came across a dust-covered tin of powdered chocolate. It would have to do.

* * *

Jack flinched in his seat as Detective Swanson slapped both hands down on the table that separated them. In his long life he had been a veteran of many wars (most of them intergalactic) and had been taken prisoner in most of them (once by both sides at the same time). He had faced tortures that would break the bodies and minds of lesser men. But, as the old saying goes: "hell hath no fury like a female detective who doesn't get her way".

Gwen sat next to him, being very quiet, which under any other circumstance would be a pleasant change. Now he found himself wishing she would say something, anything!

"Last chance, Harkness" Kathy's voice was low and dangerous "You tell me why you're harbouring an international fugitive or, so help me, I'll castrate you with bare hands." Aha. _Definitely_ a lesbian. Jack gulped visibly. While it was true that he could survive even the most fatal wounds, he had yet to suffer actual dismemberment, and wasn't about to experiment, especially not with that particular appendage. He licked his lips nervously.

"Because he's really cute?" Jack hazarded. Kathy raised an eyebrow, clearly not amused. Jack felt more was probably needed "Also, I have this thing about hair-pulling during sex and he-" Kathy cracked her knuckles. He fell silent. Finally, Gwen spoke, drawing the madwoman's attention away for a few blissful moments.

"What exactly do you want to know?" Gwen asked.

"I want to know why we have people coming to Britain all the way from the bloody United States to apprehend an Australian teenager! There's something about the official story they're spreading around that doesn't ring true, so I want to hear your side of the story before I go over and tell them what I know."

"Is there any way we can convince you _not_ to tell them what you know?" Jack asked, cringing as Detective Swanson turned her withering gaze back to him.

"Alright then," she said "let's hear it."

"We don't know why they're after him." Jack said, quite truthfully "But I can tell you that he isn't any sort of terrorist."

"And I'm supposed to just take your word for it?" Kathy asked.

"Well you've seen him yourself." Gwen added "Does he look like a terrorist." She knew how Alex appeared to other people, clumsy and a bit dim, a stereotypical blonde. That had been her first impression of him, until he'd wiped the floor with the entire team.

"Maybe not," Detective Swanson grudgingly admitted "but if I see him at another crime scene, I may well change my mind."

"So you'll keep quiet?" Jack asked. She shrugged.

"For now."

A/N: This is the longest chapter in "Headache" so far. I hope you like it. In other news, I have finally caved to peer pressure and bought an iPod. Or rather, I gave my mother the money to go buy it FOR me, so I could stay home and post this. However, I have yet to start up a blog or join Myspace. I don't see the point. My life is boring, and anyone who cares can read about it on here anyway, and they get a Torchwood fanfic into the bargain!

Reviews are the soil from which my genius sprouts...yeah, I'm going for a "gardening" theme...REVIEW!!


	7. Curves Ahead

A/N: At last! I'm really thrilled that this is finally posted. Sorry it's so short. It would've been longer, but this seemed like a good break off point and it didn't make sense to do a massive shift of location and time in the same chapter (now you REALLY wanna know what's gonna happen, doncha? Heheheh.)

**Amelia McDermid: **It's not really a reason, per se, but Alex's abilities are a tad unpredictable, even for him, and like any discipline, the only way to master them is to practise, practise, practise! Which he hasn't really been doing, except for mundane chores. The real reason for Alex's loss of control, and the nightmares (they're linked) will be made known eventually (but I have no idea how long this fic will be). I think most of you have probably already guessed.

**sci.girl382: **Not much of that this chapter I'm afraid, but never fear! Alex is going to need all the help he can get before long.

**Bewildered butterfly: **I too much prefer getting a fanfic, and since I have no life to speak of, I much prefer writing it too. I read your stuff. It wasn't bad. When I read angst I want it to be short. I don't like the way Ianto gets depicted as suicidal in a lot of fics, which I guess is why I write him as a very strong and dependable character. Each to their own, I suppose.

**hotflower901:** AU is not an especially common term, I'm not all that surprised you haven't heard it. AU stands for "Alternate Universe",meaning the fic is in the same setting, with the same characters, but it deliberately deviates from canon in some way eg: What if Ianto had been shot instead of Rhys in "Meat"? There's actually one like that somewhere on this site, but I forget the name of it. If you wanna get picky about it, most fics involving non-canon pairings are AU. Examples include Harry/Draco in the "Harry Potter" series, and Spike/Xander/Angel (or any combination of the two) in "Buffy The Vampire Slayer"...Actually, that second one might be canon, I've only seen a few early episodes of Buffy, and to be honest, it doesn't thrill me. This fic is sorta AU because of the reasons I mentioned earlier, mostly cause I haven't seen the second season yet.

Anyway, I hope I helped you out (unless you didn't care, in which case I apologize). And thanks for continuing my gardening theme.

**kateg123: **I think every fandom has a "Most Bashable" character. Gwen wins by a hair, but even pro-Ianto fics tend to subject him to all sorts of physical and emotional pain (as if he hasn't had his fair share of crap already). Thanks for contibuting to my gimmick, by the way (are the rest of you taking notes?). I didn't actually think of Mulder & Scully, my own suggestion would be "Captain Kirk & The Female Half of the Universe". I remember reading something about how Scully was supposed to be "Female Empowering" because she was all logical and scientific. But I don't remember a single episode of X-Files having a logical or scientific conclusion, so the poor woman comes off as an idiot anyway. I'm starting to notice a pattern, actually. Probably some sort of patriarchal conspiracy.

**vixengreen: **You can draw your own conclusions about Kathy, I don't plan to make any more lesbian jokes. That doesn't mean there won't be any, I'm just saying I don't sit down at my computer with the goal of insulting a random minority group. I feel I shouldmake that clear, just in case I come off as giant bigot.

**Kel Silverfox: **Don't sweat it. Getting lots of reviews is nice, but I'm happy whenever I get one. I hope you did well, it's just nearing end of semester for me, and things are starting to get a bit hectic. I'm from Australia, so the school-level system of Scotland is not something with which I am intimately acquainted (it's confusing enough here as it is, no two states/territories can seem to agree on a way of doing it.) Sorry this chapter took so long. Believe me when I say I would much rather give this the bulk of my attention, but alas, it cannot be.

**coffeemagic:** I don't care how long it takes you to review (well, maybe a little, but that's just cause yours are always so awesome). Still, I'm always thrilled whenever you do. After not seeing you for the last four chapters of "Headcase", my reaction to seeing your name in my inbox was one of indescribable, snoopy-dance worthy joy. I guess that the longer you take to review, the happier I'll be when you do (but never do it again!).

I have a friend who doesn't like Ianto much either. He says Ianto's (get this) the LEAST interesting character!! We were communicating by MSN, so I was unable to _literally_ stone him, but I hope my verbal barrage stung just as much. I mean come on! Flirty captains, lonely tech-geeks, angry doctors and bland new girls are a dime a dozen! Ianto, on the other hand, has enough emotional baggage to get his own spinoff! I have no idea how it would go, but as long as we get some nudity, I'd happily watch it.

I can only judge the second season based on the tidbits I have gleaned from Youtube, but I'm sure everyone is at least aware of the extremely hot kiss Ianto and Jack share in...is it "To the Last Man"? I forget. Anyway, the dialogue leading up to that was positively cringe-worthy. I think Ianto kissed Jack just to make him stop talking. That's what I do to shut people up. It gets me a few odd looks...especially where teachers are concerned...but it works!

**el-retardo69:** I imagine he would have to keep breaking out and sneaking past enemy lines to get to each torture session on time. Why he wouldn't just escape for good is beyond me. But hey, I'm not writing this to make sense. What's the fun in that?

**DISCLAIMER: **It all belongs to Russel T. Davies...but that won't stop me having my wicked way with his characters while his back's turned!!

**WARNING: **Jack is slightly attracted to a woman, for a change, and Gwen is shown to actually have a brain. For some reason, I think that'll turn off more readers than any other warning I can think. Don't worry, the first is short lived, but I really want to like Gwen, and so I'm trying to make her look more positive (at least to me).

**SEVEN: CURVES AHEAD**

Colour returned to Alex's face quite quickly as he sipped from the steaming mug. By the time he reached the dregs, he was the picture of health. He was still worryingly silent. Ianto sat down beside him. Together they watched Owen and Tosh giving the mysterious orb another once over, a task made infinitely more difficult by the fact that they also seemed to be playing some sort of 'anti-staring' game, with the goal apparently being to make as little eye contact as humanly possible.

"So," Ianto began, sounding hesitant "we brought you back some clothes." He indicated a large black garbage bag near the cog door "Sorry, but we didn't have anything else to put them in."

"Its okay" Alex shrugged "I don't own any luggage anyway. I'm used to travelling light." Then silence. Alex looked in the mug, realised it was empty and put it back on the table. He sighed. "I think something's wrong with me."

"Wrong like a blood fetish or wrong like a tumour?" Ianto asked, smiling when he managed to get a laugh out of the young man.

"Somewhere in-between I think." Alex replied. "It's difficult to put into words, but it's something to do with my mind, and why my powers aren't working. I've been having bad dreams lately, and just yesterday, I started seeing things when I was awake."

"What sort of things?" Ianto asked, curious. It could be something as simple as mild hallucinations brought on by lack of sleep. Except this was Torchwood, and nothing was ever that simple.

"People." Alex replied "One person, actually."

"Nina." Ianto said. It wasn't a question. Alex nodded.

"It's just glimpses, in the mirror, or just out of the corner of my eye."

"Do you still feel guilty about her? Do you think she would've turned out differently if you hadn't abandoned her?" Alex looked at him, stunned.

"That was…" he did a quick calculation in his head "twelve weeks ago! Do you remember _everything_ we talk about after sex?" Ianto merely raised an eyebrow. "Right, of course you do." Alex sighed. "No," He said eventually, concentrating very hard on what he was saying, and definitely not thinking about sexy eyebrows. That would be weird. "I don't, not anymore. We were just kids, I didn't know any better, and nothing I could've done would break the Institute's control over her."

"So it's something else altogether." Ianto mused "Do you know if anything like it has happened before, to someone like you?" Alex shrugged.

"What the Institute knows about us is sketchy at best, and it's all kept under wraps. I was a guinea pig, so I would hardly have the security clearance necessary to obtain that information. I have a few theories though. First; stagnation,"

"You mean your _brain_ has stopped flowing and has become a breeding ground for bacteria?" Ianto asked incredulously "Does this mean I'll get malaria next time I kiss you?"

"Yeah, okay, that sounds stupid out loud, but I can't help thinking that if I used my powers more often, I could have avoided this."

"What's your next theory?" Ianto asked.

"I'm actually insane."

"Sadly all too easy to believe in a place like this," Ianto admitted "but I don't think so in this case. You seem lucid right now at least."

"Thanks." Alex rolled his eyes "I feel so much better."

"And the third theory?"

"Nina is exacting her revenge from beyond the grave."

"Which is ridiculous."

"Obviously. So I guess I'm insane then?"

"Yep. 'Fraid so."

* * *

Jack emerged from the interview room, shaking slightly. After that last threat, he suspected his dreams would be filled with a grinning Kathy Swanson doing very nasty things with a garlic press. She was an angry, _angry_ woman, who really needed to get laid. He turned to walk down the hallway, intending to maintain a calm façade until he reached the SUV, at which point he would drive hell for leather, back to the Hub and drag Ianto to bed to protect him in case Detective Swanson showed up in the middle of the night. Ianto wouldn't let anything bad happen to Jack's penis, he loved it just as much as Jack did. Maybe more.

"Where are you going?" Gwen asked, breaking into an almost-run in order to keep up with his long strides "We haven't got any information."

"We know they believe the same story the media's peddling. If anyone in this place knows the truth, we could be stuck here for weeks just trying to find them, and they probably wouldn't spill under normal questioning, which means torture."

"And we don't torture people." Gwen declared, smiling.

"Not since you came along."

"Oh." Her face fell.

They had just reached the door, when a slim, attractive woman stepped in Jack's path. Her glossy red hair was pinned back in a tight bun, and her dark eyes gleamed behind a small pair of glasses. A white lab coat was draped over her shoulders, and a name tag was pinned to it that proclaimed her to be an expert in all kinds of things. Jack failed to notice any of this, as his eyes had immediately dropped to the black blouse that was doing its best to contain her unrealistic cleavage. She held out a hand to shake. Jack took it.

"Doctor Worth." She introduced herself to the pair. She had an American accent. "Are you involved in the search for Aaron Benton? I haven't seen you around before." Jack snapped out of his hypnosis, and immediately went on the defensive. He wasn't about to lower his guard for a pair of porn-grade knockers. No matter how soft and smooth and…Gwen cleared her throat. They both turned to look at her.

"We were just asked to join the search by Detective Swanson. Mister Benton being the dangerous individual he is, she felt our presence was needed." Jack was impressed by how smoothly the lie flowed from her lips. She must have got in plenty of practise during the whole sordid thing with Owen.

"Of course." The doctor nodded her head as if she understood completely "We need as many people out there as we can get, before he kills again."

"How many people has he killed?" Jack asked.

"I was never sure of the exact number," She replied "but lots. And that's just the ones we know about!"

"Forgive me for asking," Gwen interrupted, not sounding sorry at all "but what is your relationship with Alex?"

"Alex?" The scientist asked, blinking. "Don't you mean Aaron?"

"Sorry!" Gwen smiled goofily and slapped her forehead "My brother, Alex called me this morning and now that's all I can think about! I'd forget my own head if it wasn't screwed on!" She laughed.

"Yes, well, I was _Aaron's_ psychologist. During his incarceration, he underwent weekly therapy sessions, as part of an intense reformation program. Being intimately acquainted with the inner workings of his, frankly, disturbed mind, it is hoped that I'll be able to predict his next move." She sighed. "I still have hopes that he could become a functioning member of society, but it's proving more difficult then I thought."

"Yes, well, good luck with that!" Jack said jovially, seething with inner fury "Unfortunately, we have to go, got a terrorist to search for and all." He grabbed Gwen by the elbow and dragged her outside, to the SUV. When they reached it, he released her.

"What the hell?" He demanded, furious "For fuck's sake Gwen, you nearly ruined everything!"

"It wasn't a mistake!" Gwen snapped back "I was _testing_ her. Did you see the way she reacted when I said his name? She knows who Alex really is, and why they're really looking for him too, I'll bet!"

"Oh." Jack paused "Nice work Gwen, that was a stroke of genius."

"Well," Gwen smiled and blushed like mad as she climbed into the SUV "I was due."

A/N: The last line might seem a bit self-deprecating, but I' INTENDED it as a slight dig at the fact that, up till now, I (and the show, to a lesser degree) have been making her look like a whiny, incompetent, deceitful bitch. I have no problem with lying or bitchiness, as long as it's directed at the right people. I apologize to the (apparently few) Gwen fans reading this if that didn't come off right.


	8. Who You Gonna Call?

A/N: Guess what!

That's right! My Wednesday classes were cancelled, so I got a) to meet Mo Hayder at a nearby bookstore to discuss her latest novel and b) to come home early and write this for you! Are you surprised? I bet you are!

**kateg123: **What can I say? I get passionate about stupid things. I'll try to tone it down. Gwen/Kathy huh? It's an interesting idea, maybe another time, though. I really loved Kathy for the short time she appeared on the show. I reckon she has the potential to be really awesome. You gotta hand it to a woman who can keep her cool in front of Jack "panties dissolve when I smile" Harkness. I think you're the only real Gwen 'fan' reading this. Most people don't mind her, it seems, but I have a theory that most Jack/Gwen-ers just hate slash. But I can't figure out why they'd watch "Torchwood" in the first place. Maybe you can help me out with this one?

**SpringSnow:** If you want _good_ pro-Gwen stuff, go check out **kateg123**. What I've read seemed pretty good, and she manages to transform Gwen's potential funny into _actual_ funny, which, in my opinion, is a rare thing. I agree that the best fics are the ones that include the whole cast. The ones you're describing generally turn out to be smutty oneshots (which I don't mind personally, but that's not what I'm trying to do here). I have no idea what Ianto would do to defend Jack from Kathy, or even if he could, but I think we can all agree that the REAL winners would be the audience.

Jack O'Neill and Samantha huh? I remember Stargate from years ago, but I gave up on it when the guy in the glasses died, and then he became a ghost or something so he could continue as a character. Whatever. The movie was better. I don't remember much "dancing", but I was like eleven, so I tended to pay more attention to the disgusting snake things and the flying pyramids. I watched one episode of "Stargate: Atlantis" and I swear it was so bad I think it gave me cancer.

**hotflower901: **Yes, she took a risk, and they'll have to be a bit more careful, but they have a slight advantage now because they know she knows, but she doesn't _know_ that they know she knows, you know?

**Amelia McDermid: **I dunno, Alex is lookin' _pretty_ crazy right now. Of course, I know the truth about whether he is or not, but I'm hoping to keep you guessing.

**muppetmadness: **Oh yeah, she's evil all right. If the hair didn't give it away, the enormous rack sure did.

**GIMMICK: **C'mon, people! Get involved in this one! It'll be fun, I promise! Send me a PM telling me who the "Most Bashable" character in your favourite non-Torchwood fandom is, and why. The best three will get posted in the next chapter. Let's get those suggestions in people!

**DISCLAIMER: **I don't own Torchwood. And as if that weren't bad enough, I also lost my sock puppets! I found sock!Gwen, but not until after my dog had got ahold of her. It was not a pretty sight.

**WARNING:** I didn't feel up to writing more foreplay right now, so I skipped straight to the aftermath. Sorry. Also, some swearing.

**EIGHT: WHO YOU GONNA CALL? **

Alex woke in the middle of the night with a mouth like sandpaper. He carefully lifted Jack's arm, which was draped protectively over him, and rolled the man over slightly so that he could peel himself off Ianto, who he had become adhered to in the course of the night. He crawled over Jack, taking care not to knee him in the face, and groped for some pants, with only the faint glow of the alarm clock to aid him.

He would've slept on the couch, and had even set up a pillow and sleeping bag, but Jack had been suffering from castration anxiety, and had wanted his cock to get as much attention as it possibly could in the supposedly short time it had left. Alex had suspected it was a ploy, but as Jack was now whimpering about rusty pruning shears in his sleep, he was beginning to think otherwise.

Working silently, he wriggled his way into his discarded jeans, doing everything he could to minimize noise as he made his way out of Jack's room, across the Hub, to the kitchenette.

Despite being turned off, the pulsing column of the computer cast an eerie blue light over the entire Hub, making everything appear pale and ghostlike, and the far corners and various nooks even darker. Alex padded his way over to the sink, and found himself a clean glass from the cupboard underneath. Just as he turned the faucet, he heard the faint whisk of rushing air that generally meant something had moved past him very quickly. He pivoted on his heel, water sloshing noisily against the sides of the glass. It seemed to echo in the silence. The air was heavy with the weight of sounds _not_ being made. Alex quickly downed the glass of water and padded over to the couch, where he set the glass down on the arm of it, so as not to make any noise.

A shadow flickered in his peripheral vision and his head snapped to the side a split-second too late. A clatter came from the direction of the medical bay. He dropped to his hands and knees and crawled over as fast as he dared. He crouched against the railing around it and peered through the bars. Very little of the ghost-light reached the medical bay, and the only movement he could detect in the darkness was the slight rocking of the recently disturbed gurney.

Again, he caught movement just in his peripheral vision. The speed of his soon-to-be prey ruled out any of the team, even Ianto, who was much faster, or capable of teleportation. With a blink, Alex was crouched under Toshiko's workstation. Something rattled behind him and he bumped his head when he tried to turn around. His hand flew to the back of his head and he cursed silently before crawling out into the open.

An erratic flickering of light, like thunderless lightening, caught his eye, and he turned to see an odd glimmer from the usually pitch-black tunnel that led to the morgue. He crawled around the computer, over the corrugated steel that bridged the moat-thingy, gritting his teeth as the metal left painful indentations on his hands and knees. As he reached the tunnel, he pressed himself against the wall and walked side-long down it, staying out of the light as much as he could.

The flickering light was just that, a flickering light. The morgue wavered between blinding brilliance and inky void. Alex continued to crawl along the wall, suppressing his shivers. The temperature was at minus twenty-five degrees at all times, to ensure that the bodies did not decompose, in the event that they would be needed. His entire body was pimpled with goose bumps.

He arched away from the wall with a pained hiss. It was so cold that it burned his bare back. He backed away from the wall, to the middle of the floor and turned, trying to take in the whole of the room. His senses were bombarded. Light. Dark. Light. Dark. So quick that his eyes never got time to adjust to either, and were beginning to water. He backed up against a wall, stifling a gasp as something cold and hard slammed into him. He turned, and realised that the intruder, whoever they were, had managed to open a morgue drawer without him noticing.

He stepped back and slipped, landing flat on his already sore back. He rolled over and was surprised at the sudden change in texture from frigid tile, to thin cloth. He got to his feet, dragging the cloth with him. It was one of the sheets they used to cover the corpses; it must've slipped off the steel bed of the drawer.

With a deafening slam, all the lights died except the one directly above him, leaving Alex stranded on a tiny island of light in a sea of all-consuming black.

"Where are y-mmf!" Alex let out a muffled cry of surprise as a hand clapped over his mouth. He gagged at the cloying, metallic tang that washed over his tongue and assaulted his nostrils. The edge of his vision was bordered by pale, blood-coated fingers. He was jerked back and pulled flush against the body of his attacker, a sticky dampness spread across his back. Strands of dark hair coasted into his peripheral vision and glided gently downward, coming to rest on his naked shoulders. His breathing quickened and his eyes grew wide.

The warm breath tickling the hairs of his neck was the last straw. With an anger borne of desperation and fear, Alex twisted in his assailant's grip and pressed his hands against her, loosing a wordless, animalistic battle cry as the white-hot power surged down his arms and left his body in a burst of pure energy.

* * *

Ianto was awoken by a sound akin to cannon fire. He shot upright at the same time as Jack and narrowly avoided banging their heads together. Where there ought to have been a body between them, there was a slight indentation and fading warmth.

"Alex." Ianto jumped out of the bed and immediately pulled on his trousers, dragging on his shirt with one hand as he used the other to climb the ladder. Jack followed at his heels; gun in hand, without making even a token effort at getting dressed. They raced down the stairs from Jack's office, Ianto stopping to flick various switches as he went. The computer came alive, the lights came on and the Hub was filled with the whir and clamour of the activated machinery. Alex was nowhere to be seen. They separated briefly to search the other areas.

"He's not in the archives or the reception!" Ianto called as he returned.

"The shooting range and the cells are empty!" Jack yelled back. "Do you think he left?"

"Surely he wouldn't be that stupid." They shared a look "I'll check the CCTV."

Both men froze as a broken sob reached their ears, echoing up from the very bowels of the building. Simultaneously, they turned to the dark, gaping tunnel that led to the morgue. Jack walked ahead, gun cocked and ready to fire, beckoning for Ianto to follow him. Ianto rubbed his arms over his chest as the cold seeped through his skin. Jack wasn't even shivering.

Ianto flipped on the light switch to reveal Alex on the floor, there was an already-closing gash on his forehead, and blood was trickling down the side of his face, mingling with tears. His knees were tucked into his chest, and he had one arm wrapped around himself. He was biting down hard on the knuckles of his other hand.

Ianto heard Jack let out a low whistle, and followed his gaze. The opposite wall was warped by a deep dent at about chest height, looking very much like a cannonball had indeed been fired at it. Right above Alex's head was a shallower, larger dent. Ianto suddenly had a very good idea of how Alex had gotten that gash. Jack approached Alex and wrapped him up in one arm. The boy buried his face in Jack's shoulder and made no noise whatsoever.

"Alex," Ianto crouched down to his level, "what happened here?" Alex pulled himself away from Jack and turned to face Ianto.

"Nina was here."

* * *

"No sign of her," Toshiko said "she doesn't appear in a single split-second of footage." They watched the late night security feed of the morgue for the eleventh time. Alex was sitting in the break area, seething, refusing to look at the rest of the team, despite Ianto's attempts to placate him, and Gwen's attempts to mother (more like _smother_) him. They had just gotten up to the part where Alex was backing against the wall, and an empty morgue drawer slid open behind him of its own accord.

"Look," Owen said, pointing "that's not even the drawer she's in. She's in the one next to it."

"Yes, you said that." Toshiko replied "the last _ten times_ we ran through this. _And_ Ianto and Jack already showed him the corpse. He still insists he saw her. And besides, he says she still had the gunshot wound and everything." The tiny Alex on the screen froze in the middle of the room, as if paralysed, before turning and loosing a blast of mental energy at the wall, the backlash of which sent him flying.

"That's even more ridiculous!" Owen scoffed, ignoring the irritated growl from the young man behind them. "Look. I am a doctor, and I say that people do _not_ come back from the dead."

"What about Suzie?" Toshiko asked.

"Okay fine: people do not come back from the dead _without_ the help of freaky alien gloves."

"Ahem?" Jack cleared his throat pointedly. Owen rolled his eyes.

"Look, she's not alive, okay? If she was up and walking around, we'd see _her_, not some moron throwing himself against walls." A coke can hit him in the back of the head. Owen turned to see Alex lying on the couch, with his back to them, pretending to be asleep. Owen bent down in his chair, scooping up the nearby can. He leaned back in his chair, aiming for Alex's head. He threw it as hard as he could only to have it turn around in mid-air and strike him square on the nose. He toppled backwards with an undignified squawk of surprise. Toshiko looked away and tried not to smile.

A/N: Well, that's all for now folks! Dunno when the next one will be up, but reviews are the coal that fuels my train of thought!


	9. Not Again

A/N: I'm posting this at three in the goddamn MORNING. That's how much I love you guys. So if this chapter sucks more than usual, cut me some slack, okay?

I'm disappointed that nobody ever wants to get involved in my gimmicks. I got two responses for my last one. TWO. And they weren't great. The first was Phoebe from "Charmed",'cause she turned evil for a while. But c'mon! They do the "turn evil" thing like, once per sister per season. I woulda said Prue. I know she's dead and all, but there's this one episode where they all got inflicted with one of the seven deadly sins. Phoebe got lust, Piper got Gluttony, and Prue seemed normal. Of course, _her_ reasoning behind this was that she must have been unaffected because she's _so_ powerful, the oldest sister and blah, blah blah. I spent the whole episode yelling at the t.v. "Sin of pride, bitch! SIN. OF. PRIDE!". And even when they were cured, there was _no_ change in her behaviour. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why Prue is most bashable.

The second response was for a Harry Potter character. I disagree with that purely on principal. Choosing a "most bashable" from Harry potter is like playing "Whack-A-Mole" and only aiming for the middle one.

And now that my daily rant is out of the way, onto review replies!

**muppettmadness:** Again, sorry about the mix-up. Glad I cought that before anyone else read it. I would still love to her your opinion on the REAL chapter eight, if at all possible. Also, I noticed your profile is actually a trio so, out of curiosity, which one of you is reading and reviewing this?

**kateg123: **Aha! You say you normally love slash? I bet I know why (feel free to correct me if I'm wrong). I have a theory that women like slash because it allows women to indulge in romantic fantasies without being subjected to the unrealistic standard of beauty present in most female characters. So they decide to hook up the two hottest guys. _You_ do not. Why? Because it's already done for you! And also, Gwen, cute though she may be, is hardly a supermodel. There's my theory. It may need some work.

**Amelia McDermid:** I think, at this point in my sad and lonely life, my day would be made if anyone _not_ directly related to me were to walk in naked.

**hotflower901:** Actually, in a way, he's sorta right. He's also a bit wrong. It's tricky to explain. And I'm not gonna cause it would give it away.

**el-retardo69:** Yes, because sex is the answer to everyone's problems! Or at least mine. But then, my biggest problem is that I'm not having sex. Nonaked Jack today, but I hope I made up for it.

**GIMMICK: **PM me your favourite, non-Torchwood slash pairing, and why. I know that my gimmicks have engendered a less than positive response so far, but bear with me! This time there's a prize! Nothing of real material value, I'm afraid, but I hope you like it anyway. The winner of this little comp will get...a character named after them! And not a lame little background one, an extremely significant one.

A short slash scene between the said characters will get you extra points. More if you can make me laugh. Also I'll need your real name (just the first one), or else there's no point. There's no set deadline as yet, cause this character doesn't show up for at least a few chapters, so there is absolutely NO reason for you to not at least scribble down a few lines on why (for example) those two A-Team members are so hot together.

**DISCLAIMER: **I don't own Torchwood...yet.

**WARNING:** But that would give away the surprise!

**NINE: NOT AGAIN**

Ianto weaved through the dimly-lit archives. It was like a hedge maze, only dusty…and underground…with file cabinets. Okay, so it was nothing like a hedge maze. Finally, in the corner furthest from the door, he found Alex, lying on his side, face to the wall. He had somehow acquired a pillow and several bottles of water. Obviously, the boy was in it for the long haul. Ianto marvelled at how quietly Alex had slipped away. It had been hours before they even noticed he was gone

"You know there's not much point hiding out down here." Alex jerked his head up in surprise, and rolled over, a large book in hand. "We have heat scanners monitoring every life form in the Hub. All we have to do is look at a computer screen to find you."

"I don't care if you find me." Alex replied, sullen-faced, before rolling back to face the wall again "I'm just sick of hearing everyone's stupid theories. Owen thinks I'm faking, Toshiko thinks sleepwalking, Jack thinks I'm going stir-crazy, and Gwen just thinks I'm a "poor thing", which I wouldn't mind so much if she didn't keep saying so, over and over and _over _again."

Ianto sat cross-legged on the floor directly behind Alex.

"And what do you think?"

"I _know_ it was real. She was there. I touched her, I felt her breath. I tasted her _blood_ for fuck's sake! It wasn't a dream and it wasn't a hallucination, and if Owen accuses me of faking again, I'll break my telekinesis off in his butt!"

"You can't blame them for looking for rational explanations. Once, we, the whole team, almost died, out in the middle of nowhere. All because we assumed we were looking for aliens. We didn't want to think that there was a simler explanation. We didn't want to believe that humans could be just as evil."

"I'm evil?" Alex's voice had a dangerous edge to it "Is that what you think?"

"I think we have to cover all the possibilities." Ianto moved in closer to Alex, lying down and placing a hand on the boy's hip, running his thumb over the curved bone in a soothing, circular motion. "But for what it's worth, I don't agree with Jack, Owen, Toshiko _or_ Gwen."

"What's your theory?" Alex asked. Ianto took a deep breath.

"That something strange and frightening is happening to you, and that you deserve to be taken seriously." Ianto felt the shivers running down the younger man's spine. They gave him a few delicious shivers of his own.

"I like that theory best." Alex leaned his head back. His hair tickled the underside of Ianto's chin. Ianto was quietly amazed that the usually cocky, confident Alex, who had been trained to kill in cold blood, now resorted to hiding like a child. In truth, for all that Alex was physically an adult; he was very child-like in thought and action. He wrapped his arms around the smaller body, feeling the hard muscles under the cotton-polyester blend fabric of Alex's t-shirt. For some reason, which he _really_ didn't feel like analysing right now, 'Vulnerable Alex' was very sexy.

"I just want to forget everything." Alex's voice was barely even a whisper.

"You _could_, for a while at least." Ianto replied, just as softly, with that slightly devious hint to his voice that worked quicker than ten of Jack's 'sexy grins'. "It _is _Friday, after all."

Before he could even _blink_, Ianto was on his back, with Alex straddling his hips, their clothed erections having a close encounter of the best kind. 'Vulnerable Alex' had been shed as easily as torn wrapping paper, and the gift that was 'Horny Alex' was gleefully received.

"Now why didn't _I_ think of that?" Alex asked, bunching Ianto's jacket in his fists and leaning down to press their foreheads together. "What a good idea," He practically purred "and for thinking of it, you get to choose what we do first." Before Ianto could speak (not that he was even able to at the moment), Alex pressed a hand to his lips. "Wait! Let me guess…" he closed his eyes and appeared to be in deep concentration.

"Uh…Alex?"

"Aha!" Alex opened his eyes and grinned at Ianto evilly, before undoing Ianto's top button with a deft flick of his fingers. The tiny triangle of skin that was revealed was caressed, and then eagerly licked as Alex's hands moved onto the next button, and the process was repeated. Undo, rub, lick, undo, rub, lick, until, after what seemed like an age, and Ianto's entire torso had been tongue-polished to a high sheen, Alex reached the waistband of his trousers. "Damn. I ran out of buttons, looks like play time's over." His eyes widened in mock surprise "A zipper! These are _always_ fun."

A staccato of metal teeth, a quick tug, and suddenly Ianto's trousers and briefs were around his knees. Alex swooped down, and the musty archives were replaced by the wet, warm, undulating walls of his mouth, seeming to encompass the Welshman's entire being.

* * *

Toshiko ran the video for what felt like the millionth time, trying to ignore Owen's jibes. It wasn't enough that the man was already ugly as sin, he had to deliberately make himself unattractive to anyone. She sighed. Trust her to fall for the most obnoxious, self-centred, _rude_…where was Ianto? She could really do with a pick-me-up.

"It's getting late." Gwen looked at her watch and yawned.

"You can go home," Toshiko offered "I want to go over this one more time."

"Are you _still_ doing that?" Owen sneered from his workstation "I gave up on that ages ago, I'm looking at footage of him and Ianto going at it on the front desk."

"What?" Gwen stormed over to his computer "You can't just spy on people like that! It's a total violation of human rights!"

"You're just upset because I got footage of you kissing a girl!"

He ducked, sniggering as Gwen swung a fist in his direction. His head hit the keyboard and a different video popped up.

"What's this?" Gwen asked, forgetting about the little weasel for now. Owen glanced up.

"Ask Tosh, she's in it."

"What?" Toshiko manoeuvred her wheelie-chair around to Owen's desk, suppressing the urge to spread her arms out and pretend to be flying. She watched the footage for a few seconds before recognition set in. "Oh, that's from when I got Alex to display his powers for me. I never did get the chance to go over it." They watched as he went through them one by one. "Watch this!" she said as it got near the end "He's about to do something _really_ cool!"

They watched.

They waited.

"He's not doing anything." Owen finally said.

"I don't understand," Toshiko muttered "when I filmed it, there was a cat on the table."

"A cat?" Gwen asked "How?"

"Thought-form projection." Toshiko explained "He can take images from his mind and project them into three-dimensional space, making them physically real."

"Hang on." Owen raised a finger. "You're sayin' that the brat could magic me up an army of bikini-clad babes?"

"Sure," Toshiko replied flippantly "for like, two minutes."

"Pfft. Not worth it."

"But if there's a cat there," Gwen brought them back to the matter at hand "why doesn't it appear on film?"

"Maybe it isn't real?" Owen shrugged "There are such things as tangible hallucinations."

"Well, whatever the reason, we know thought-form projection doesn't fool cameras. Which gives me an idea…" Toshiko's fingers rattled over the keyboard, and the footage of Alex in the morgue played alongside his demonstration with Toshiko. She paused them both. On the first, her hand was stretched over the table, petting an invisible cat. In the second, Alex was frozen in place in the centre of the floor, arms pinned to his sides, eyes wide with fear.

"Look at that," Toshiko said "He's acting like someone grabbed him suddenly from behind. And think about the other stuff: the flickering lights, the morgue drawer moving. He can do all that with his mind."

"So he really did fake it then?" Owen asked, surprised that he was being proved right.

"Of course not!" Gwen scolded "Look at his face, that's genuine terror! The poor thing..."

"So what's happening?"

"Well, _obviously_…" Gwen paused "…Tosh?"

"I think someone's using thought-form projection on _him_."

"But…how? He's the only person around who can do that."

"Not necessarily." Toshiko replied "Maybe Alex knows. We should ask him."

"Which brings us to a pertinent point," Owen interrupted "where _is _Alex?"

* * *

A fitful buzzing in his ear brought Ianto out of his orgasm-induced coma. It took him a moment to realise it was a voice, and another moment to realise it was coming from his earpiece, which had been shook loose by the intense thrashing when Alex did that thing with his teeth. He lifted it to his ear.

"Ianto, thank God!" Gwen sounded extremely relieved "Alex isn't anywhere in the Hub, and there's only five heat signals on the scanner. Have you seen him?"

"Sure, he's just-" Ianto turned to see empty space beside him "shit."

A/N: Ugh...too tired to thinks of a clever metaphor...Review or no fic for you!


	10. Phone A Friend

A/N: Sorry this took so long. To be honest, the only reason you're getting it now is because when I checked my inbox, I saw a review, and when I was reading it, I thought "Shit...when did I last update?" I would like to be able to say I've been really busy, but I just didn't feel like it. This chapter feels a bit wrong too, but overall, I'm happy with it. I promise to get the next chapter out sooner.

Also, my little slash competition is still going...it's not too late to give me a suggestion, or change your suggestion for your favourite pairing and why. Don't forget, a short scene between them gets you extra points; the hotter the better. Humour is also a must. Also, grammar and spelling is important. I can't judge your work if I can't read it.

Anyone who has ever wanted a character named after them in anything should enter this competition. Not many people have, so you all have pretty good odds. Also, it's NOT a villainous character, if that helps.

Oh, just had a thought. Since SENDING me a short slash story would be a bit tricky, what with censors and all, just POST them as you would any story and notify me when they're up. That way you have an extra fic in your...collection or repertoire or whatever, and I can access it anytime I may need/want to! Everybody wins! Also, anyone who does so can garuntee a nice, long (hopefully entertaining) review from yours truly. My reviews are like rare jewels, people have gone insane in the effort to wring even the most derogatory sentence from me. Seriously.

This chapter is dedicated to **Seductive Screamer**, who iump-started my brain with her (his?) review. I suggst everybody give her (him?) a round of applause.

**kateg123: **I'm not overtly familiar with either of those shows, but that doesn't really matter. I have to admit I prefer the 'Grey's Anatomy' pairing, purely by virtue of the rhyming nicknames. And I love your reasoning; simple but effective. I would love to see how you think a scene between them would play out.

**vixengreen: **Blast! You figured out my one weakness! Now I have no choice but to continue writing!

**muppettmadness: **Does anybody really like Owen? Truth be told, I love him as a character. He's fun and easy to write. I hate his character as a person though. Does that make sense to you? Sorry it wouldn't let you review. I suppose I could just enable non-signed reviews, but I don't, for some reason. Oh well.

**hotflower901:** That's a pretty uniqe pairing. Although not exactly a scene, I was intrigued by your little synopsis, and would love to read such a fic.

**Amelia McDermid:** You will find out, I promise, but not for a while.

**el-retardo69:** As long as he doesn't bite anything important...

**Seductive Screamer: **Your name intrigues me...what does a seductive scream sound like, exactly? I was glad to hear my fic was good enough to draw you out of the shadows. I rarely ever review, but I always feel guilty when I don't. I'm sorry to hear you don't like California. I too would miss my accent. Believe it or not, my sister has been told by her Melbourne friends that she has a "Canberra accent" whatever the hell that means.

**DISCLAIMER:** I don't own Torchwood. if I did, Gwen would not be Jack's potential love interest. She would be his fag-hag. And she'd have an annoying nasally voice, to reflect her personality. And then a piano would fall on her. Now THAT'S entertainment!

**WARNING: **A very vague reference to oral sex at the beginning. After that, you're out of the woods, and into Dullsville. Sorry.

**TEN: PHONE A FRIEND**

Alex savoured the cool breeze on his face, and the thump of each footstep on the honest-to-goodness _real_ pavement. His jaw ached like a bitch, but it was worth it. He stretched his arms above his head and arched his back. It felt good just to be able to move again. As spacious as the Hub was, there was only so long he could stay underground without feeling claustrophobic. Maybe he really did have a touch of cabin fever.

Even though it was a Friday night, the city streets were almost deserted, giving him full run of the place. He suspected it had something to do with the 'teenage terrorist' all over the news. It was beautifully ironic, really. He hummed snippets of unremembered songs to himself, and almost felt like skipping. He just wished it had been daytime, or at least a bit warmer. He was pretty sure his jacket was somewhere behind the couch.

* * *

Kathy drummed her fingers on the steering wheel, looking forward to getting home and spending some quality time with her cats. She'd spent all day driving around Cardiff with that moron Andy, looking out for Aaron what's-his-name. The fact that she knew Torchwood already had their mitts on him was even more infuriating. At least the city had been nice and empty, which had made her job nice and easy…except for the endless games of 'I Spy'. She scowled at the memory. Tomorrow, she was going to find the man who suggested pulling partners out of a hat and throttle him with his own large intestine. And she'd enjoy it too.

Thunder boomed in the distance, and rain began to pelt down. Kathy sighed and flipped on her windscreen wipers.

* * *

Alex grinned and stuck out his tongue to catch a few drops. After two straight days inside, not even a flood like this would stop him from enjoying himself. He was soaked through, his hair plastered to his face in long, dripping spikes. He caught his reflection in a display window as he passed. He looked like a drowned rat.

Determined to make the most of his time as a free man, before facing Jack's wrath (which would more than likely culminate in some sort of erotic punishment), Alex turned and bolted towards the nearest zebra crossing.

* * *

"Are you seriously telling me you were knocked out by a blowjob?" Ianto nodded, shame-faced. Jack leaned back in his seat. "That little prick tease has been holding out on me." Jack rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Did he do that thing with his teeth?"

"Focus!" Gwen yelled, snapping her fingers in Jack's face. "We have a wanted teenager running around the streets! At night! In the _rain_!"

"Yeah!" Owen added, drawing surprised looks from the rest of the team "If he catches cold, that means extra work for me!"

"Am I the only one taking this seriously?" Gwen asked "He could be in real danger."

"What if he gets arrested?" Owen asked, flailing his arms and squealing in a slightly exaggerated imitation of Gwen. "Oh wait, he can kill them with his mind! Problem solved."

"That's _not_ a good thing!" Gwen cried, exasperated.

"Alright, let's get to work." Jack stood up and held out a hand "Ianto, my whip."

* * *

Kathy screamed in surprise as a body flew out of nowhere, striking her windscreen and rolling up, over the roof of her car. She slammed on the brakes and scrambled out, nearly falling flat on her face. She approached the still body, sweeping hair and water out of her face.

At first she thought she'd hit a girl, but as she got closer she realised that the build, though slender, was decidedly masculine. She reached forward slowly. She had no problem poking any number of dead bodies; it was part of the job. It was the ones that might still be alive that gave her the creeps.

The young man grunted and rolled over. Kathy pulled back sharply, with only the slightest hint of a squeal. The young man sat up. She quickly regained her composure and helped him to his feet.

"Are you injured?" She asked. He turned to her with a small smile. Recognition hit her like a punch in the gut. "You're him!" She exclaimed.

"Him who?"

"Aaron."

"No I'm not!" Panic alarms flashed in his green eyes "I can't be Aaron. If I were Aaron, why would I be out here? Aaron is probably nice and dry and…clean…" he trailed off as he noticed mud on his jeans. He bent over to brush it off. All it took was a glance at his denim-clad derriere for Kathy to instantly remember where _else_ she knew him from.

* * *

"Oh my god!" Alex looked up as the vaguely familiar woman (Stanton, Swinton, something beginning with 'S') started laughing. "You're _him_!"

"I thought we went through this already."

"The wonder from Down Under!"

"Excuse me?" Alex raised an eyebrow. She reached forward and flicked him on the shoulder, still giggling.

"What happened to your construction worker outfit?"

"Oh fuck." Alex covered his face with both hands, suddenly realising what the woman was talking about. He looked up "Listen, it was just the one time, and I really needed the money!"

* * *

Kathy wound an arm around the young man's shoulders.

"Don't be so embarrassed, you were really good! Had the whole joint in an uproar…" She paused, suddenly serious "But…that was three months ago…"

"So?" Alex asked, cheeks tinged pink with embarrassment.

"So how come we only heard about you a couple days ago?" She pursed her lips, thinking hard. "Come on," she said, dragging him to her car.

"Where are we going?" Alex asked, curiosity outweighing the fear of getting caught. Detective Who's-it's face was grim.

"The station." Alex struggled against her iron grip, forgetting that he could easily dispose of her in any number of swift and painless ways.

"Do we have to?"

* * *

"Toshiko!" Jack called from the landing of his office, surveying his domain. "Have you found anything on the cctv?" Toshiko was busily tapping away while the others, all waiting on further orders, sat together on the couch

"The rain's so heavy, it's impossible to get a decent picture!" she stopped "Oh, here's something. Let's see...he got hit by a car."

"What?" Gwen looked up, shocked. Ianto continued to clean his nails. Owen snored gently.

"He's fine though." Toshiko finished.

"Oh, right," Gwen remembered "the healing thing." She went back to her crossword puzzle.

"And now he's being given a lift by…some woman." Toshiko looked up at Jack, apologetic. "Sorry, but that's the best I can do."

"Cupcakes…" Owen mumbled in his sleep, drooling on Gwen's shoulder.

* * *

"Why are we here?" Alex whispered, as he followed Kathy through the near-empty police station, stooping below the cubicle walls. "No offence, but when you're being chased by pigs, the sty is the last place you want to be."

"Finding you is the highest thing on the list of our priorities. The vast majority of the night shift is out looking for you, only a handful of officers are staying behind, to do all the boring stuff."

"So I'm less likely to be caught here than anywhere else in the city?"

"Exactly."

"Neat."

Kathy sprinted the last few feet to the staircase. Alex ducked behind a water cooler as a fat, red police officer with a donut passed by. As soon as the behemoth behind was out of sight, he followed her. They dashed up the stairs, around the corner and through a door. Once it was slammed shut behind them, Alex leaned against it with a sigh of relief.

There was a cubicle on either side of the room, blocking the entire floor from view. Kathy crawled forward and peered around each one.

"Coast is clear." She stood up and walked over to the largest desk. Alex followed her, noting a few touches of personalisation. There was a photo of two Siamese cats, and a mug declaring her "World's Greatest Aunt". He looked up as Detective Swanson reached for the phone that lay to one side.

"What are you doing?"

"Calling Captain Harkness," she said, pressing the receiver to her ear and dialling as she spoke "he's going to get his American arse over here, and you two," she glanced pointedly in Alex's direction "are going to tell me _exactly _what this is all about."

"Not going to happen, I'm afraid."

"Hey!" Alex turned to the newcomer "That's just what _I _was about to- fuck."

A/N: It has recently become a habit of mine to end things on a line of dialogue, and usually some sort of cliffhanger. I don't know if that's really annoying or what, but if it keeps you coming back, then it works for me.

I was going to think up a review metaphor, but the only thing I could come up with was something kinda gross about lubricant.

Basically, I am a review whore. Always have been, always will be. Whether it be from friends, family, or the male teacher I'm currently crushing on like a pathetic teenage girl in that show about pathetic teenage girls (you know the one I mean), I have always craved feedback. The anticipation, the sweat-inducing nervousness, the thrill of finally receiving those first few words (kinda like when you take off in an aeroplane and you slam back in your seat), the orgasm like high of actually _getting_ the feedback, and then basking in the afterglow, knowing I have done something right.

...What the hell was I talking about again? Oh right, reviews! I want them, I _need_ them, oh baby, oh baby!


	11. Trouble With A Double D

A/N: It's nearly 2:00 am. I have to be up at 6:00 am. I am a stupid, stupid person for posting this now. I expect grovelling. Lots of it. Also, at the beginning of 'Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom', Willie Scott (played by...Kate...someone) sings 'Anything Goes' in Chinese. I don't know how that has anything to do with this. It must be a sleep-deprivation thing. I'm making associations where there are none. Oh well.

Also...Favourite Slash Pairing: Who, in What and Why. Best one gets a character named after them. REMEMBER:

1) I need your real name (or any name really, just not your username), or else you can't qualify.

2) You have to give a REASON for your pairing, and they can't all be "because they're hot", even thought that _is_ a good one.

3) A story featuring the characters will net you extra points. No holds barred, be as smutty or as fluffy as you like. Length is not an issue...that sound dirty to anyone else?

4) NEW RULE: The two characters do NOT have to be from the same fandom, as long as they could conceivably meet (for example, to quote a friend: "The guy with wings from X-Men, and whoever Iron Man is".) While form different comic series, they are both in the same fictional universe, and so could conceivably meet.

Hurry up and get those entries in! This new character has to show up eventually, and right now, it's not turning into much of a competition. I'd hazard a guess that you still have two-four chapters worth of time. And those if you who know how erratically I update will know that that is no garuntee that you will have much time at all.

On with the replies!

**Bewildered Butterfly:** Well, I'm not about to stop using cliffhangers, and while I _can't_ garuntee regular updates, I can garuntee that this fic WILL be finished (eventually) and that all the chapters will meet, on average, a certain standard of quality (mine, not yours). I hope that's enough for you.

**vixengreen: **See? THIS is what I want, blind gratitude and faith! You could all take a page from vixengreen's book. Actually, _some_ constructive criticism would be nice. Right now, the only person who does is one of my friends, on the extremely rare occasion that he even reads my stuff. He is a bitter, lonely person, who delights in making cruel, scathing comments that break my self-esteem into tiny pieces, causing me to have to rebuild myself emotionally before writing each new chapter.

**Amelia McDermid: **Great Review.

I have yet to come across that myself. Although a few people I know have gotten Canberra and _Canada_ confused a few times. It shouldn't be that hard. One is the capital city of Australia, the other is where Maple fruit (which is juiced to make the syrup) comes from.

Keep it up.

**hotflower901: **FYI, I am a guy, but thanks for the tip. I'll keep that in mind if I ever need to borrow someone's car.

**SpringSnow:** This Dan guy is pretty popular, I'll have to watch Gossip Girl sometime. I've never been all that interested in it (until recently, I thought it was just books, not a show). I have no idea what the hell it is, but for some reason I see it as a teenage drama, like Degrassi or Sweet Valley High or something, and those bore the crap outta me.

**muppetmadness: **Owen over Ianto? Ew. It must be because they imagine his frog lips have a matching tongue. He has nothing else going for him. Gotta be the tongue. Also, make your friends read my stuff. I want more reviews.

**canadianskick:** It's great to hear that my OC is the exception to the rule. Most OC's are actually Mary Sues, and they deserve to be hated. It's odd because Alex has pretty much all the attributes of a Sue (or Stu, for males): supernatural powers, easy on the eyes, exceptional combat skills, tragic past, quippy AND he has hooked up with, not one, but _two_ of the hottest male characters (not that there's much choice). I don't know what it is that makes him so likable. Must be a fluke.

**kateg123: **Hooray for newcomers! And Kathy is fast becoming one of my favourite characters of all time. She doesn't do much in this chapter, but we'll see a lot more of her yet.

**DISCLAIMER: **I don't own Torchwood. If Idid, I wouldn't try and pull that 'long lost brother' crap (not unless I'd hinted at it from the very beginning at least). "Welcome to Bad Television, would you like some cliche with your poor-quality script?" Doctor Who continues to be arousingly awesome (like all television should be) but if TOrchwood is going to last past a third season, these writers need to step up their game. Also, WHY is it not in Australia yet?

**WARNING: **Exposition, exposition, exposition. And then violence. YAY VIOLENCE!

**ELEVEN: TROUBLE WITH A DOUBLE D**

Alex stepped backwards as a gun was pressed to his forehead. His gaze travelled up the suited arm holding the pistol to the ruggedly handsome face of a man who, under different circumstances, he would've liked to know better. Except for the glazed-over eyes. They were creepy. Doctor Worth stood at the door, flanked by two similarly uniformed men.

"Detective Swanson, you ought to be commended." The doctor stepped forward, curves shifting with all the hypnotic power of a lava lamp. "Not many people could handle an individual as dangerous as Aaron."

"Can we at least start using my _real_ name?" Alex sighed.

"Very well Alex," Doctor Worth smiled indulgently "it seems safe to drop pretences for now."

Kathy stepped forward, and the other two men had their guns trained on her before she could blink. Doctor Worth raised a hand and they lowered them again.

"I'd not make any sudden movements, if I were you." Doctor Worth said, smiling like a fifties housewife who had reached enlightenment while posing for a photo "My men are trained to react at the slightest sign of a threat. You'd be dead before you had time to even _think_." Her gaze flicked to Alex and then back again, letting him know who she was really warning. They were specially conditioned bodyguards. All capability of higher thought processes had been disabled, or removed. They acted only on reflex, instinct, and direct orders from their leader. Like sheep. Big sheep. Sheep with guns.

* * *

"How did you know he was here?" Kathy demanded.

"We didn't." Kathy's eyebrows shot up in surprise, but she said nothing. The doctor continued. "Almost as soon we met, I knew I'd have to keep an eye on you. I had your car bugged after you contacted Torchwood. When you turned around suddenly to head back to work, I wanted to know why."

"Torchwood?" Kathy asked, stalling for time, praying for help _and_ silently cursing Jack Harkness to the ninth circle of hell for the unforgivable sin of his continued existence, all at the same time. "What do they have to do with anything?"

"When you went to Torchwood, I realised that I had greatly underestimated you. Only someone who is fully aware of the sort of work they do would get them involved in this case."

"Torchwood doesn't investigate potential terrorist threats." Kathy interrupted. "If they did, they had plenty of opportunities to get involved now."

"True, they normally stay out of regular police work," and the doctor turned to look at Alex, smiling. It seemed almost…motherly, but in a really creepy way "but Alex is special."

* * *

"Don't ask about her plans for world domination," Alex drawled, now bent backwards over Kathy's desk in an attempt to move away from the gun "we'll be here all day."

"Quite right," Doctor Worth clapped her hands together "let's not waste any more time. Boys, grab him."

A sharp click echoed in the empty room.

"Don't move!" Kathy ordered, aiming between Doctor Worth's eyes "Or the good doctor gets it." The goons froze.

"She's bluffing! Get him!"

"Wanna bet?" Kathy asked "I never was fond of you Americans. Overpaid, oversexed and over here." She smiled "But not for much longer, _unless_ you back off…now!"

"Can we end this standoff soon?" Alex interrupted "I don't care who wins at this point, my back is killing me." Now his captor's hands were starting to shake, which would be a good thing if he was trying to tie him up. But handling a gun? Not so much. Alex glanced back up at the man who had him pinned. The previously emotionless eyes were flicking back and forth nervously. The man was stuck between two equally powerful impulses. Obey the leader, or protect the leader?

Alex gripped the edge of the desk. Even that small motion caused Goon No. 1's attention to turn back to him, but he was quickly distracted once more by the sight of his leader in danger.

Taking his chance, Alex rolled onto his back, kicking out with both feet and striking the goon square on the chin. He flipped onto the desk in a crouching stance and grabbed the pistol as it flew from his opponent's grasp. Gripping it by the barrel, he hurled it like a boomerang. It hit another goon in the face with a sharp cracking sound. His eyes rolled back in his head and he landed on the floor in a crumpled heap.

Kathy turned and Doctor Worth grabbed her, twisting her arm behind her back and forcing her to drop the gun. Alex dived off the desk as the third goon opened fire, and curled into a ball under it, silently thanking god for modesty boards. _Then _he remembered he could make a force field with his mind.

Finally the gunfire stopped. He listened intently, not daring to move, or even breathe.

"Idiot!" That was Doctor Worth "You'd better not have killed him!" How touching "Well? Go check!" Then there were heavy footsteps, muffled by carpeting, and growing nearer. Alex lay flat on the itchy floor and pressed his face against the board, trying to see through the thin gap between wood and carpet. He could see the shiny black leather of the man's shoes. He pulled back.

* * *

Kathy could only stare as a powerful kick reduced her modesty board to splinters, and Doctor Worth's final bodyguard went to his knees with a soft grunt, clutching his groin. What was left of the desk tipped over on top of him, burying him in an avalanche of paper work, as Alex, or Aaron, or whatever, emerged. Realising the buxom doctor's grip on her had slackened; Kathy turned, grabbed her by the collar of her lab coat, and head butted her in the face, before letting her drop to the ground. She turned back just in time to see Alex drop a ceramic mug on the head of the final goon, knocking him out for the count.

"Was that my mug?"

"A thank you for saving your life would be nice."

"My niece gave me that mug!"

"And now it's broken," Alex shrugged his shoulders "_**c'est la vie**_."

"I really liked that mug." Kathy continued, following out of the room and down the stairs

"So get another."

"I can't buy another 'World's Greatest Aunt' mug for myself." They stopped and waited politely for the fat policeman to lumber past, to the coffee machine.

"Well," Alex replied with a smirk "if you really are the world's greatest aunt, just wait until next year's 'Relative Recognition Awards' rolls around."

"I suppose you think you're funny."

"Hey, I take the 'Rellies' very seriously." Alex put on an announcer voice "And the mug for 'World's Greatest Aunt' goes too…" He trailed off as he pushed open the front door, waiting for her to pass through first. They walked together across the courtyard out the front of the police building.

"I think Captain Harkness has been rubbing off on you."

"Yeah, he does that. He likes to lick it off afterwards."

"Thank you _so_ much for that mental image, which will stay with me forever."

"You know," Alex laughed; "you aren't nearly as scary as Jack-" He froze in the middle of the courtyard. A forest of guns bristled at them from every direction. "Oh come _on_!" He flung his arms into the air with a cry of frustration "We just did this!"

TBC...

A/N: I don't know if the Cardiff police station has a garden or if it opens into another universe or what, but I decided to give it a courtyard. I'm generous like that. Soon you people will be aware of just how much stuff I'm trying to fit in this thing. I fear two things. One, that this will collapse into a pile of epic fail and two, that this will suceed wildly, and the next one will look like epic fail in comparison.

Since quality fanfics are few,  
If you find one, be sure to review,  
Be aware, if you clam up,  
The author might give up,  
And then what the fuck would you do?

Not the best limerick in the world, but I think I got my point across.


	12. Well, Nuts

A/N: Sorry it took so long, but my homework is all done now, so I finally had the time. I'm afraid my offence is compounded by the fact that this chapter is barely a thousand words, but writing it was quite emotionally draining for me, hopefully you'll see why. Don't worry though, for the next week and a bit, I plan to get chapters up a lot quicker.

Also, people, my little competition is growing (slowly, yet, inexorably) to a close. One person has submitted a story, (hooray!) and it wasn't bad, but I would like to see this turn into a real competition, so please, please contribute! You could be immortalised in fanfiction history! And for the love of GOD, please give me a name, ANY NAME! I need something to work with. So far, I only have three entries total to choose from!

This chapter is dedicated to **coffeemagic**, for her incredible determination to review every chapter she missed, despite having a perfectly good excuse.

**Bewildered butterfly: **Or he could just be absent-minded! I have to say that I much prefer your interpretation, though.

**muppettmadness: **Yes I am. Is it working? Sorry for taking so long to update, I hope this chapter answers your question satisfactorily.

**vixengreen: **It was sarcasm. Or at least I think it was. Of course I enjoy getting praised for my work (duh), but I can't help but feel that there must be someone out there who can like my story, but still suggest improvements. I don't need a full-on beta (I don't think) but a few suggestions would be nice.

**Amelia McDermid:** I'm worried you won't find this chapter so great, but mostly for the content, rather than the way it's written.

**hotflower901: **I'm not offended. I really don't have any experience, and I'm not offended by any suggestions pertaining to my sexual orientation (I _am_ writing slash after all, and will probably continue to do so for a while). And I was totally serious about crushing on that teacher. As to why Alex didn't just disappear, again, I hope your questions are answered. If they aren't, well, then the best I have to offer is that it's necessary for the story.

**Seductive Screamer:** You are right to feel uber-special, chapters don't get dedicated to just _anybody_. I am now very interested in 'The Mortal Instruments' as long as the relationship issues _aren't_ the main focus of the story. The only full-on romance novels I like are Jane Austen, and only occasionally. And yes, I did see 'Midnight', it was pretty awesome, and so was 'Turn Left'. Still, I think 'Planet of the Ood' is still my all-time favourite. How many episodes has Russel T. Davies written this season? His _are _usually the best, but I'd like to see him put some of that skill into Torchwood and let some of the other Doctor Who writers have a turn. Also, if you're planning a slash fic, now's the right time to do it. You could submit it as your entry into my little competition. But type fast, time is running out!

**el-retardo69:** I dunno what to say. Sorry, but it's 5:00 am, and my head is starting to hurt.

**kateg123: **It's a good thing you're in it for the laughs, cause this fic is going to see a severe reduction of sexual content. And there wasn't much to start off with.

**Lord Ankh: **A new reviewer! Hooray! And now I'm worried... I hate dissappoint you, but there won't be any more threesomes for a while, if any sex at all.

**coffeemagic:** Wow, lotta stuff to reply to here. First, let me just say: I know your pain. I am going to have to spend roughly a month without internet sometime in the very near future, while I myself am in the process of moving (must be karma). I'll write as much as I can in the short time I have left, and will continue during what I like to call the 'Dark Time', so even though you may not hear from me for a while, I hope to make it up to you many times over in the end.

I'm glad you liked chapter 8, my lit class was looking at Gothic literature at the time, which I think had something to do with it. There'll be a few more instances yet where this delves slightly into the 'Horror' genre.

The seventh book was so bad, I was almost tempted to hand my copy over to the religious fanatics down the road ('19 years later'? What the fuck was she doing?). My only consolation was that Snape died. I'm sick of everybody harping on about his 'being a nice guy really' and 'inner torment' and all that crap about being in love with Lily. It doesn't change the fact that he tormented a student for incredibly selfish (not to mention INSANE) reasons, and the fact that Harry forgave him makes me want to invent a Jasper Fforde-inspired Prose Portal so I can track the little brown-nose down and cram copies of the seventh book in every love-spewing orifice on his body. And that includes his pores.

Yeah. It's bit odd that I have no problems actually saying stuff like that, but writing sex-scenes gives me stomach-butterflies.

You don't have a non-Torchwood slash pairing? At all? And here I was the whole time thinking "Oh well, never mind that hardly anybody's giving me their real names (if they even offer a suggestion at all),** coffeemagic** is bound to swoop in and win the whole thing hands down." Oh well, I have a few other options to choose from, so it's not all bad. I would prefer to give the prize to someone who's earned it, rather than let my bias for a particular reviewer affect my decision. Sigh...Judging is such hard work!

Hmm...That is something to think about. I do have future projects in the works (and Alex was _so_ looking forward to an early retirement, but no hope of that anymore). I don't think 'Invisibility' or 'Invincibility' would be great titles for any of them, though, but I shall have a whole month of no internets to think about it.

**DISCLAIMER: **I would own Torchwood, but I spent the last of my money on chips.

**WARNING: **Angst. From Gwen's POV. This ain't gonna be pretty...

**TWELVE: WELL, NUTS**

Alex raised his hands in the air. There were policemen, a few members of the National Guard, and so many different uniforms that he suspected there was at least one representative of every law-enforcement group in Britain. And every single one of them had a gun trained on him. At the back, he could make out glimpses of cameras and those big fluffy microphone things. Torchwood seemed to be the only ones missing.

"I don't suppose you have any ideas?" Kathy whispered out the corner of her mouth, mimicking his actions.

"Nope." He admitted. The media presence made any display of his psychokinetic prowess out of the question. There was no point in hurting (technically) innocent people). All it would do was confirm his reputation as a dangerous criminal.

Or worse, people with his abilities would become public knowledge, the Institute would come under inspection by the UN or something, and business would carry on as normal. Except that Doctor Worth wouldn't need to steal infants, parents would probably gladly hand them over, for fear of what their children might be capable of in the 'wrong hands'. Damn; paralysed by his own morality.

And speak of the devil, here she came now. Alex noted with some satisfaction that her nose was bleeding. Bitch deserved worse.

* * *

His passengers found themselves slammed back in their seats as Jack suddenly accelerated.

"I'm going to kill him." He seethed. "I'm going to snap his stupid neck with my bare hands."

"I think we should cut him some slack," Gwen attempted to moderate, being the only one with the courage (or whatever you want to call it) to talk when Jack was in one of his 'moods'. "Alex spent most of his life cooped up underground, having to put up with it again must have been torture."

"And he's been under a lot of stress," Ianto pointed out, secretly wishing he had stayed back at the Hub with Toshiko. "I think Nina's death affected him more than he's willing to admit, and now his abilities are acting up. It's almost like his own mind is working against him."

The car screeched to an unexpected halt outside the police station, giving all its occupants severe whiplash. They disembarked and found themselves pushing through a swarm of reporters. It was like having giant flies crawling all over their skin. Finally they broke through, only to find their path blocked by a generic lackey. Before the man could make any demands for identification, Jack grabbed him by the face and gently, but firmly, pushed the man aside. They pushed through the armed contingent uncontested, until they reached the invisible border of the courtyard.

Here, they were met with the sight of Alex being held between two men in black uniforms, with Doctor Worth supervising. Jack stormed forward, the others trailed behind him.

* * *

"Captain Harkness," Doctor Worth looked up at the murmurs of surprise cutting through the crowd, and was surprised to see the dashing American marching towards her with a look of grim purpose. "What can I do for you?"

"I demand that you release Alex Bleddyn into Torchwood custody." Jack moved close to her face, his voice dangerously low "Now."

"No can do," The doctor replied, looking as though she were trying not to laugh "I'm afraid Mister Bleddyn is the property of the United States government."

"You can't own people!" Gwen snapped, lunging forward "No-one can!" The doctor did laugh at this.

"You really don't get it, do you?" She shook her head "You people are in _way_ over your heads."

"Jack-" Alex began, only to be silenced by the older man's frosty glare. Jack returned his attention to Doctor Worth.

"Release Alex immediately or-"

"Or nothing." The doctor interrupted, pulling out a mobile phone "I have friends in high places, Captain, very high. You may claim to be 'beyond the police' and all that garbage, but Torchwood commands none of the power it once did. One phone call from me will shut you down for good."

* * *

Alex dropped his gaze, cheeks tinged with shame. He could feel the anger and disappointment radiating from Jack. He wished there were something he could say or do. He would've given anything to be able to start the day over again.

* * *

Jack said nothing. The others stared at him in silence. Ianto's face betrayed nothing but a passive interest in what was about to happen next. Owen looked lost. Gwen stood defiant, her arms crossed. They were waiting for his brilliant plan, his trump card. He continued to glare at the doctor, vibrating with impotent anger. After a few seconds, it dawned on them that he might not have an ace up his sleeve after all.

"She's lying, isn't she?" Gwen prodded, just in case Jack had merely forgotten his lines "There has to be something we can do, right?"

"Let's go." Jack muttered, turning on his heel and heading back to the car. Gwen stared at his retreating back. His RAF coat had lost its dramatic flare, and dangled limply around his ankles.

"But…"

"Just leave it." Owen said, turning to follow their defeated leader. Gwen turned to Alex, who stared resolutely at the ground, refusing to meet her gaze. His long fringe hid his face from view; his whole body seemed to sag, as if weighted down by hopelessness of his situation. She felt Ianto's hand slip into her own, and he gently tugged at her, trying to get her to come away. She glanced into his eyes and saw a sadness there that equalled her own. She wanted to punch the triumphant smirk off the doctor's face.

Heartbroken, Gwen let herself be led away, looking back over her shoulder at Alex.

"Okay, boys, cuff him, collar him and let's get the hell out of here!" Alex didn't even try to resist as his uniformed captors hurried to comply with the doctor's orders, before man-handling him into a white van and slamming the doors shut.

A/N: This chapter was so depressing, I need reviews to cheer me up. Especially since this story is just getting started! Like I said before, "ACTION!!ROMANCE!!TEARS!!KARAOKE!!" There's a lot more of the first three to come, and we haven't even seen the fourth yet!


	13. The Term Is 'Decoy'

A/N: Well, I got this chapter up a lot faster, and it's about twice the length of the last one, so I feel that we are now even. A LOT of stuff happens in this one. I could've broken it off a lot earlier, but I really wanna get the story moving.

Also, MORE entries! C'mon people, it ain't hard! Don't you wanna have a character in my awesome fanfic named after you?

_Also _also, I hit a hundred reviews! And only on chapter twelve! To celebrate (and because I dunno how many more chapters I'll get up before I lose my internet), everyone who reviews will get a private reply containing a different hint about something that is going to happen later on in "Headache". If you want, you can even trade secrets with each other! Hopefully they'll still be reasonably cryptic enough to keep you guessing.

**Amelia McDermid:** Well, I'm glad you liked it. Too much stuff happens in this one for it to be really depressing. I'd even go so far as to say it borders on Crack!fic.

**HuckingHarkness: **A new reviewer! Glad to see my OC is growing on you, I plan to keep him around for a while. HAving Alex join Torchwood wasn't my ideal ending either, but all my ideas for sequels required him to still be hanging around, and they can't retcon/imprison him, so what can they do? Having him confined to deskwork and errands was my compromise. And I was gonna keep writing anyway, reviews just give me that little boost I need to know it's not a totally worthless exercise. Dunno what I'm gonna do come the end of next week.

**kateg123: **Don't worry, angst is all done, for a while anyway. This chapter isn't especially funny either though, just pushing events forward as fast as I can.

**sci.girl382: **Unlike my last fic (which I noticed was starting to look a bit _too_ similar to this one) Alex's imprisonment IS the main plot of the story (can't believe it took me twelve chapters to get to it). So while things will eventually be resolved, don't expect to see it happen soon.

**canadianskick:** Really? You got Gwen-bashing material out of that? And here's me trying to make her all sympathise-with-able an whatnot. I guess once you screw Owen, there's just no hope for you.

**el-retardo69: **Ah yes, "Hornblower". Not many people would think of that, which is strange cause, c'mon, with a name like 'Hornblower', you're just asking for it, really.

**DISCLAIMER:** I don't own a god-damn thing.

**WARNING: **As I said before, this chapter is a bit cluttered and crack!ficcish. If you don't get it, I totally understand.

**THIRTEEN: THE TERM IS 'DECOY'**

Toshiko looked up from her work as alarms blared and the door rolled back. In one move she was off her chair and running towards them as best as she could manage in a tight skirt and high heels. She slipped halfway down the stairs, grabbing the railing just in the nick of time. All this 'looking nice' crap was, frankly, stupid, and downright dangerous. Come tomorrow, it was back to jeans and sensible shoes for her. She greeted the others at the door.

"Where's Alex?"

The dark look Gwen shot at Jack's back, as he retreated up to his office, said it all. Owen wandered over to the television, and flicked it on. It was a live broadcast from the police station.

"We found him." Ianto explained "But that doctor already had him. Alex is officially the property of the United States Government."

"Says here on the news" Owen added "that he is being taken to a secure location and will be flown back to America early tomorrow morning."

"Early tomorrow?" Toshiko parroted.

"It's what the TV says." Toshiko immediately turned around and returned to her desk. A few keystrokes, and a map of Cardiff appeared. A few more and a blinking red light appeared on it.

"Found him."

* * *

Alex squirmed on the cold, hard bench, under the scrutinising glare of two men with very big guns sitting on the opposite side of the van. Well, he couldn't quite tell, as their bulky uniforms came complete with visored helmets, but he assumed they were glaring at him. He brought his cuffed hands up to his neck, freezing as the guns were quickly pointed in his direction. He waited till they were lowered before touching the metal collar.

It was different from the old kind. Much bigger, for starters. Felt more like three of the old ones stacked on top of each other. As his fingers moved down over it, they encountered a swelling curve that ran all the way around it. He ran fingers from both hands over the collar, starting under his chin and meeting up again at the nape. He couldn't find a keyhole, or anything at all to indicate that the collar could be removed.

Very gingerly, he reached out with his mind, expecting the excruciating shock at any moment. In his mind, he pictured the energy slowly unfurling from him, like a snail poking out of its shell. He often found it useful to visualise his power as some sort of animal. Usually, he pictured it curled up in his head, like a big old dog that spent most of it's time sleeping; at other times a serpent, poised to strike, or a jungle cat, stalking its prey.

Emboldened by the lack of a reaction, Alex sighed with relief. At the same time, the power lunged forward, unbidden. Pain surged through his skull, and he fell off the bench. Quickly, he was hauled up by the two men and placed firmly and by no means gently, back on his seat.

* * *

Even Jack and Gwen had stopped arguing at this announcement, and now the entire team was clustered around Toshiko's computer, watching the red dot beep its way across the screen.

"How exactly did you get a signal on him?" Jack asked, suddenly suspicious.

"It's…uh…complicated."

"Tosh." His voice held a warning tone. She cringed.

"Remember those weird little things that looked like watch batteries, but you said they were alien buttons?" She asked, in the tone of one owning up to something for which they just know they are going to get a smack (which, with Jack, wasn't altogether unlikely).

"I remember those." Ianto interrupted. "They emit a unique frequency that doesn't exist on Earth's electromagnetic spectrum. And they fuck up any DVD player you put them near."

"Right. Anyway…" Toshiko took a deep breath, prepared to rattle off a long-winded, incomprehensible string of techno-babble that would be the envy of any science fiction program.

"In English, please?" Owen asked before she could say anything. Toshiko rolled her eyes.

"I did stuff with the computer and now we can detect them."

"Okay. And what practical purpose does this serve?"

"Tracking devices. I wasn't going to tell you about them until I'd run a few more tests, but they seem to work."

"So you fitted Alex with an untested alien device?" Jack asked, frowning. Toshiko blushed.

"Actually, I slipped it into his coke." Seeing Jack's eyes narrow, she hurried to defend herself "I put them on all of you too!" She paused "That sounded less damning in my head." She returned her attention to the screen, hoping to distract from the current topic. "Oh look, they're headed for the airport!"

* * *

Alex was jerked out of his stupor as the van suddenly ground to a halt. He was hooked under each arm by one of his bodyguards, and hauled into a standing position. After a while, the large door rolled up, revealing a small contingent of guards. Alex was shoved out of the van with little ceremony, before being grabbed and frog-marched across the tarmac, where the good doctor herself was waiting.

Taking the opportunity to look around, Alex noted that they had traded in the warehouse and upgraded to a hangar. Or at least he thought it was a hangar. The jet plane was a bit of a giveaway.

The place was full of people. Among the small army of faceless goons, there was the occasional scientist-looking type rushing about, their lab coat flaring as they ran, and some generic airport staff, all puffed up with self importance at being involved with the apprehension of such a dangerous criminal.

Doctor Worth looked up and smiled at Alex's approach, enforced as it was.

"Are you ready for your trip?"

"I get sick on aeroplanes."

"Oh don't worry," she laughed as though Alex had just said the funniest thing she'd ever heard "you'll be heavily sedated by take-off."

There was a sudden twinge in the left side of his neck. He turned his head, ignoring the extra pain, to see one of the lab-coated lackeys already disposing of a hypodermic. The hanger doors were opened and Alex was led out onto the taxiway. He might have thought it strange, to be led away from the aeroplane, instead of towards it, but his head was already growing fuzzy, and he was having enough trouble just walking straight as it was.

Just outside the hangar was a small black helicopter. Too weak to climb up himself, Alex found himself being lifted and placed in a seat and thoroughly buckled in. His eyes drifted shut, and his head dropped.

* * *

Gwen clung to the dashboard and tried very hard not to throw up as the SUV turned a corner on two wheels.

"Who taught you to drive?" Owen demanded, rubbing his head. "A blind cow?"

"Hey, if you wanted a comfortable ride to the airport, you should've called a taxi!"

"Assuming that they even wait until dawn, we only have a couple hours to search the entire airport, grab Alex and get back to the Hub."

"Remind me again why we brought the tea boy?" Owen groaned. "And why didn't Tosh think to put her tracker-program thing on something portable? Like a PDA?"

"It took me four weeks just to recalibrate-"

"I didn't ask for one of your geek-a-thons!"

"Why ask if you don't want answers?"

"Hey!" Jack bellowed, silencing the bickering "If you kids don't quit it, I'm gonna turn this car around, and then nobody is going to get to shoot anything!"

"Um, Jack?" Gwen forced the words between tightly pressed lips. She was turning an interesting shade of green.

"What?"

"Toll booth."

"Oh shi-"

The SUV tore the bar off it's hinges, attracting no notice of the booth's occupant, who was completely engrossed in a documentary on seagulls. The car turned a full three hundred and sixty degrees before screeching to a halt in the surprisingly (and thankfully) empty parking lot. The doors opened simultaneously, and the occupants spilled out. Gwen landed on all fours

"I'm gonna be sick."

"No time for that." Jack pulled her to her feet by the back of her shirt. "Tosh and I'll go round the back of the building, you three search the terminal. Remember, no guns unless you actually _see_ a bad guy. No sense creating more panic."

* * *

Toshiko crept along behind Jack, pausing as he leaned forward and turned his head around a corner. Without looking at her, he reached back with on hand and beckoned her. She shuffled further along the wall until she was pressed up against him. Across the runway, there was a wide open hangar.

People were rushing about like ants, with only a few men patrolling the area. Jack darted forward, across the runway, in full view of the security guards. Toshiko was puzzled at first, and then horrified when Jack cupped his hands and called out to them. Instantly, they were after him, guns drawn. He turned and sprinted away, his coat disappearing around the other side of the building.

Seizing her chance, Toshiko strode purposefully over to the hanger, secure in the knowledge that nobody bothered someone who looked like they knew what they were doing. She entered the hangar, unnoticed by the twenty odd people who had their own jobs to do. An abandoned lab coat lay draped over a wooden crate. She quickly put it on and began walking around the jet, stroking her chin and making 'hmm' noises, as though she were going through some sort of mental checklist.

As she got around to the tail-end of the plane, she saw a large steel box, big enough to fit several people lying down. It had holes in it too. She was contemplating the wisdom of rushing over to check it out when something warm and groin-shaped pressed into her backside. She jumped.

"Miss me?" A familiar American voice whispered in her ear. She glared over her shoulder.

"Jack, you scared the hell out of me! How did you lose the guards?"

"I didn't, they're bound to catch up any second now. What's in the box?"

"I think Alex might be."

"Well then what are we waiting for?" Jack asked, grinning his 'I'm dangerous and sexy' grin. "Let's check it out."

Toshiko glanced in both directions, making sure nobody was paying them any attention. Then she sprinted as best she could in high heels, Jack close behind. The box had a partially open door on the other side. It moved silently as Toshiko pushed it just open enough to admit her slim frame. She slipped through.

"Alex, are you in here? It's me, Toshiko."

Even with the light shining through the air-holes, it was damn-near impossible to see anything. The door opened a bit wider to admit Jack's bulkier form.

"I don't hear quipping." He whispered. "Is he okay?"

Before Toshiko answered, they were alerted by footsteps. They threw themselves into separate corners of the steel box. A silhouette appeared in the doorway. A head poked in and looked around. Toshiko shrank back into her dark corner. Eventually the head withdrew.

"It's clear." The door slammed shut, and she heard the definite click of a big, heavy lock. "Let's get this sucker on the plane."

* * *

Ianto slowed to a halt at the final gate, bent double and panting, his face pink and shiny from the effort of squeezing through the oppressive swarm of civilians awaiting their flights. Gwen's voice buzzed in his ear.

"They're not in my area. How about you guys?"

"How the fuck should I know?" Owen whined "The place is crowded, even for an airport!"

Before Ianto could say anything, he was interrupted by a kindly-looking elderly man, hunched over in his seat.

"Running late, eh?" He asked, not waiting for Ianto's answer "I wouldn't bother if I were you. Flight's 'ave all been cancelled, till they get that hooligan out of the country."

"Ianto?" Gwen again "I can't get a hold of Jack or Tosh."

Just then, a cheer rose up from the masses, and through a rather large window, Ianto could see a large, unmarked jet plane taking off. He pressed a finger to his earpiece.

"Guys? I think things just got a little more…complicated."

A/N: Now you see why there won't be much sex in the future of these characters. Sorry.

Reviews are electronic messages made of happy. Fic writers need happy to live, and their delicate, fragile systems can only absorb it in review form. If they don't get it, they curl in on themselves and die a sad and lonely death.

Readers need fic in order to _make_ happy, which is then processed into review form. It's the circle of life.

Did I mention that if readers DON'T review, the build-up of excess happy causes their brains to explode?

Think about that.


	14. All Kinds Of Creepy

A/N: So...turns out some hotels have wireless internet access. Who knew?

Since I replied personally to all your reviews last chapter, and i can't think of anything particularly interesting or relevant, I shall skip review replies this chapter.

On a general note, congratulations to everyone who saved themselves from doom of the head-exploding variety. Still a few chapters to go before the introduction of the mystery character, so let's get those suggestions and/or stories in people! I'm really looking forward to reading what you've come up with.

Also, I realise that this is not going to over-endear me to the Doctor Who fans, but I thought 'Journey's End' really sucked. Don't get me wrong, it had me biting my nails, punching the air, whooping with joy, etc, etc. But, after all of that wore off, I looked at it with more of an analytical eye and, seriously? The story's ridiculous. The techno-babble is overlong and totally irrelevant, and even when you do decipher it, it makes no sense. It's not even vaguely plausible, even for a sci-fi show! And what's with all the impossible solutions just falling from the sky? That smacks of sloppy writing to me, and the ending made me incredibly angry. I don't want to wreck it for those who haven't seen it yet, but suffice it to say that the last two-three minutes completely undoes the entire fourth season, plus a bit more. Why even bother with it at all? Why not just have the universe explode and be done with it? It could hardly be less depressing now, could it?

Anyway, now that I've ranted my anger out, let's get on with it!

**DISCLAIMER: **I don't own Torchwood. Russel T. Davies does, and if Martha and Mickey are in the third season, I will be really pissed off. I have nothing against them as characters, but I think new ones are the way to go.

**WARNING:** It's in the title.

**FOURTEEN: ALL KINDS OF CREEPY **

"So…" Jack said finally "how about we-"

"No."

"Well, what do you do for fun when _you're_ trapped in a steel box during an overseas flight?"

"How about we play the quiet game?" Toshiko sniped, irritated more by her own stupidity than Jack's clumsy come-ons.

"Okay." Jack sounded surprisingly enthusiastic. The container lapsed back into blessed silence. Toshiko leaned back, resting her head on her arms, and was just drifting off when something brushed against her leg. She kicked it away and resumed napping. Then she felt something like several little legs crawling up her thigh.

"Jack, is that your hand?"

"Haha, I win!" The hand retreated, and in the gloom of the box, she could make out Jack's shape as he lay back, spread-eagled on the floor. "Okay, your turn."

"Um, Jack?"

"I should warn you, I can go for a very long time without making a noise. Of course, I've had plenty of practice."

* * *

The drive back to the Hub was silent, as were the walk to the Hub from the car, and the short elevator trip, _and_ the long walk down the corridor. Not a word was spoken between the trio until the door rolled back, revealing the catastrophic mess that had been made of the Hub. Equipment and furniture had been knocked over, paper was strewn across the floor, and it looked as though someone had been rooting through the garbage, scattering the contents about in some perverse mockery of decoration.

"What the hell happened here?" Owen asked.

"We've been burgled!" Gwen exclaimed.

"Don't act so shocked," Ianto chided, already sorting a toppled stack of papers "our security is crap. I should know. Owen, make yourself useful and check the CCTV."

Owen looked for a moment as if he was going to argue, but then thought better of it. Gwen busied herself with fixing up the break room. Owen fast-forwarded through the last few hours of security footage.

"Nothing's happening, nothing's happening…" he paused as two figures, dressed in black with gloves and balaclavas, appeared on the screen. It was like watching a home improvement show, only backwards. The speed and efficiency with which the two men proceeded to vandalize the place was quite impressive. Finally, one stood up after groping around under the coffee table. He was holding something. The other man immediately snatched it out of his hands. Owen hit pause and zoomed in on the object.

"They stole the orb."

"The orb?" Gwen asked, looking up from her cleaning "but it's totally useless."

"They clearly don't think so."

"So what do we do?"

"Our jobs." Ianto interrupted "We can't do anything to help the others, so we carry on with business as normal."

"Didn't you say that Thomas Walton was from London?" Owen asked, turning back to Gwen.

"That's right." Gwen nodded. "Do you think that's where the thieves are from as well?" Owen and Ianto shared a look.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Ianto asked, grinning. The two men leapt into an aerial high five.

"Road trip!"

* * *

Alex awoke. He blinked. His head was full of cottonwool, and the inside of his mouth felt as though it had been coated in tar. For the briefest of moments, he felt as though he was back in Jack's bed, cocooned in the sheets. Another blink and the warm, fuzzy feeling disappeared, to be replaced by cold hard tiles.

Cold halogen lights glared in Alex's face. He scrunched his eyes tight and opened them again. It was slightly better, but not much. He pulled himself up to a kneeling position, a task made difficult by the extra weight around his neck. He looked down at himself. His clothes had been replaced. He was now wearing a white, long-sleeved cotton shirt, and matching pants. They were soft, easy to move in, and smelt like cheap detergent.

It was his old room. Not that he'd recognise it at first. All the furniture, posters and toys were gone, hardly surprising given that he had run away more than a year ago. Décor hadn't exactly been at the forefront of his mind. Everything was a stark clean white. Even Ianto's apartment had more colour (once Alex had learned to distinguish between different shades). Through a door-sized gap in the wall, he could see a small bathroom area. He stood and turned to the corner of the room, where a small black camera blinked back at him.

"You chase me around the world, brand me as an international threat and lock me up in a secret underground prison complex, but you can't even carry me the two extra feet to the bed?"

"Ah, you're awake."

Alex spun on his heel. He hadn't even heard the door open. Doctor Worth stood in the doorway, crisp and clean, her hair was loose, falling to her shoulders in glossy waves. The resemblance to Jessica Rabbit was remarkable. Over her shoulder, Alex could glimpse two bodyguards standing just outside the room.

"Doctor." He greeted her coldly, eyeing her with distaste.

"How many times do I have to tell you?" She asked, smiling at him fondly "Call me Adrienne."

"There are a lot of things I'd like to call you." Alex snapped, figuring that since he wasn't going to die right now, he could afford to be bold. She laughed.

"Oh, Alex, I've missed your sense of humour. You always brighten the place up."

"Not that it needs it." Alex cast his gaze around the room. Every surface gleamed. She laughed again. "Why am I here?" Alex asked, deciding to get straight to business.

"Well we can't afford to have you running around loose, can we?"

"Let me rephrase that: Why am I here and not in a shallow grave?"

Doctor Worth looked blank for a moment, and then realization dawned.

"Oh, why haven't we _killed_ you?" She grinned sheepishly. "When Nina was tracking you down, she was under strict orders to send us regular reports. When they stopped coming, the most likely conclusion was that she, and the rest of her team, had been killed. After that, an inspection of the department was ordered, and it was determined that-"

"Get to the point." Alex demanded with a roll of his eyes.

"We can't afford to lose any more test subjects. The majority of you die before you even reach adulthood, and the rest are killed in action. There don't seem to be any more showing up in the general populace and we don't know why. We decided to keep the rest under surveillance, until we learn to replicate and produce their abilities. Since you are one of our most successful-"

"You decided to drag me back and stick me under the microscope, I get it." Alex folded his arms "So you had any success 'replicating' my abilities?"

"Not yet," the doctor smiled, as if pleased that Alex was taking an interest, however slight "but with you around, I'm hoping that will soon change." The doctor turned to leave "Oh, before I forget: a welcome back gift." She motioned to one of the guards, who passed her a bright green, stuffed alligator with large googly eyes. Its mouth was lined with pink felt. It even had teeth (also felt).

"You remember Alfred, right?" She asked "I gave him to you on your first day here. You used to take him to bed with you every night."

Alex made no move to take the soft toy. Doctor Worth walked around him and placed Alfred on the bed.

"Well, I guess I'll let you get some rest. You should still be feeling a bit drowsy." The doctor left and the door slammed shut behind her. Alex moved to the bed, picking Alfred up with one hand and dropping him on the floor. He lay down on the mattress and stared at the blank ceiling. Now that he was left alone with his thoughts, he couldn't stop thinking about Jack, Ianto and the others. Would they try to rescue him? Could they? Did they even want to? Jack had looked pretty angry, angrier than Alex had ever seen him. Maybe this was his punishment for running off in the first place.

Alex scooped Alfred up off the floor and gave him an apologetic kiss on the nose before holding him tight to his chest.

Some habits were hard to break.

A/N: I'm finding myself quite fascinated with the character of Doctor Worth. At first she was just there to be a generic, pre-packaged antagonist, but now I realise I've given her this creepy 'Mother Hen' complex which would be interesting to explore a bit more, if the story allows for it.

Reviews are the only light in my dull, perverse mockery of a life.


	15. She's Baack!

A/N: Wooo! Has it been a long time or what? Sorry about that, but for once, it was seriously not my fault. My family and I have finally moved into the domicile that will (karmic forces willing) be our home for a good while yet. Also, this is less a chapter and more an epic struggle with the insidious malady known as the dreaded WRITER'S BLOCK (dun dun duuuuuuun). Anyone who says I was playing video games is a filthy liar.

Anywho, I notice I haven't had that many reviews in the last chapter, but completely understand if, during my obscenely long absence, you have given up on me. Still, everyone who is still reading this, please review. I am a pathetic, needy loner and I haven't spoken to anybody for weeks, but by reading your reviews, I almost feel like I have friends. I apologise if I just creeped you out.

And, an important announcement: The surprise character will finally be introduced and named in the upcoming chapter! I still haven't decided on a name, so any last minute entries will be gladly accepted, and any stories avidly read, with nice long reviews. If I don't get enough entries, I'm gonna go ahead and name her (I assume you're all female, but feel free to correct me) after either an alcohol, or a car.

I apologise for the lateness, shortness, and crapness of this chapter.

**Amelia McDermid: **Ah Amelia, your short sentences always warm my heart. Sorry for not keeping up to speed on your story. How is that going, by the way?

**sci.girl382: **I dunno what I'd in a steel box. But then I probably wouldn't be lucky enough to have someone else trapped in there with me.

**hotflower901: **Kathleen Turner? Interesting choice... I know a lot of writers like to think about who they'd cast in a film of their book/fic, but I for one would prefer to leave those decisions up to whichever moron decided my work would make a decent movie.

**muppettmadness: **Good. Unlike Nina, who I orginally hoped would gather a small fanbase, Doctor Worth is to be despised. That's not to say you have to hate her, but there's no mitigating circumstances in her case. She's evil through and through.

**canadianskick: **I see nothing wrong with it. It's a good game, if I may say so myself. I have yet to see The Dark Knight. My little sister's gone twice, but I have no one to see it with. Not even my mum (the new joker scares her). My security object was a steif teddy I've had since I was born. He was called Theodore. Sadly, he is now in a cardboard box in a storage facility in Melbourne.

**DISCLAIMER: **I don't own Torchwood, and after many sessions of therapy, that no longer angers me like it used to.

**WARNING: **Just the overall low quality of this chapter, which may cause brain damage. The effects can be lessened by rose-coloured glasses. If you have a pair, I suggest you put them on now.

**FIFTEEN: SHE'S BA-ACK!**

Jack and Toshiko sat silently in the darkness. The jet had landed some time ago, but before they could even formulate an escape plan, the steel crate had been loaded onto some sort of vehicle, possibly a freight truck, and was now on its way to…well…anywhere.

Toshiko tumbled onto Jack as the crate suddenly tilted. That was the tenth time today.

"Hello again." She could hear the leer in his voice. At least he couldn't see her blushing.

"We seem to be going down." She whispered, hoping to change the subject.

"About time!" There was an awkward pause, and the temperature seemed to drop sharply by several hundred degrees. "Oh. You meant literally."

"Yeah."

"Well…you must be pretty embarrassed."

"Me?!"

* * *

Ianto set his suitcases on the floor with a thump. Gwen and Owen followed close behind with their own luggage.

"God!" He groaned, stretching his arms to alleviate the stiffness of being cooped up for so long "That was the longest car ride of my life! It feels like we've been driving for weeks!"

"Really?" Gwen replied "It felt like no time at all to me. I guess time flies when you're having fun."

"You call that _fun_?" Owen snapped from his position face down on a bed "If I have to put up with one more round of 'I spy', I'm going to take a rusty knitting needle and pop both your eyes in their sockets."

"Charming," Ianto pulled a face "Well I'm going to take a shower, back in a few." And with that he beat a hasty retreat to the bathroom, leaving the others to languish in awkward silence.

"So-" Gwen's attempt to make conversation was cut short by Owen's accusatory finger.

"No driving songs either!"

"I wasn't going to-"

"Zip it!"

* * *

"Nine hundred and ninety nine million, nine hundred and ninety nine thousand, nine hundred and twenty three bottles of beer on the wall;" Alex sang, deliberately off-key, at the top of his lungs, his voice echoing back slightly in his tiny cell. "Nine hundred and ninety nine million, nine hundred and ninety nine thousand, nine hundred and twenty three bottles of beer…"

He grinned smugly up at the camera. He knew someone somewhere had to be watching and listening to him, and he hoped to make the experience as unpleasant as he possibly could.

"Take one down; pass it around, nine hundred and ninety nine million, nine hundred and ninety nine thousand, nine hundred and twenty two bottles of beer on the wall."

Actually, knowing he was being watched was quite the turn on. Under any other circumstances, he might've been inclined to put on a bit of a show. But in this case…

"Nine hundred and ninety nine million, nine hundred and ninety nine thousand, nine hundred and twenty two bottles of beer on the wall; nine hundred and ninety nine million, nine hundred and ninety nine thousand, nine hundred and twenty two bottles of beer…"

* * *

The truck ground to a halt. Toshiko pressed her ear to the cool metal, and could just make out faint voices and footsteps.

"I think they're leaving."

"Perfect." Jack enthused "Now's our chance to escape!"

"What are you going to do?" Toshiko asked "Bang your head against the door till it falls down?"

"Not this time." Jack said, accompanied by a rustling sound. "I brought this with me."

"What is it?" Toshiko asked "I can't see, remember?"

"It's the lock-picking thing."

"You had it all this time?"

"Yup." Jack replied absentmindedly, running his hands along the walls of the crate, looking for the door.

"And you didn't think to use it earlier?"

"I wanted to spend some quality time with you."

There was a flash of little green and blue lights, and the door swung open with a squeak.

* * *

"Yoo-hoo, Alex, wake up." A soft voice cooed in his ear. Alex stirred slightly, as his mind collected itself. He had dozed off again, apparently. Stupid drugs. He wished he knew how long he'd been asleep. Minutes? Hours? There was no way of telling.

"I'm up." He mumbled, voice muffled by a pillow covering his face "I'm up." He lifted his head slightly and cracked open a bleary eye.

"Hi!"

"Argh!" Alex toppled backwards off the bed, pulling the covers with him. Nina lay on the bed, chin resting on her hands, staring down at him with a look of mild curiosity.

"Good morning to you too."

"It's morning?" Alex asked, momentarily forgetting that he was conversing with a long-dead psychotic killer.

"How the hell should I know?"

"Wait a minute. You're dead!"

"You're a quick one." Nina swung her legs of the bed and stood up, revealing the bullet hole in her stomach "You think I haven't already figured that out?"

"Well then what are you doing here?" Alex demanded "Come to think of it: _how_ are you here?"

"I'll give you a clue." Nina offered "It's all in your head."

"Oh great, so I'm insane?"

"That's not what I said."

"I'm dreaming?"

"No."

"Well what then?"

"Oh for the love of-" Nina pinched the bridge of her nose and screwed her eyes shut "You need him alive," she muttered to herself "You need him alive; you need him alive, you need him alive." She opened her eyes. "Okay, all better. Now let's try this again. What happened the last time we met?"

"You died."

"Before that."

"You broke into my mind?"

"And then what happened?"

Alex opened his mouth, paused, and shut it again. What _had_ happened? It was difficult to say. Their minds had…fused, somehow, and he had stripped her of her power and taken it for his own.

"Exactly!" Nina exclaimed.

"You read my mind?" Alex asked.

"It's sort of hard not to."

"I don't see what any of this has to do with you standing in front of me right now."

"Look, when you stole my power, you essentially shattered my mind."

"You mean even more than it was already?"

"Ha ha." Nina rolled her eyes "Anyway, when you did that, you brought along a few fragments of my mind. The last vestiges of my consciousness, if you will." The colour drained from Alex's face.

"You mean…?" He trailed off, unable to finish the thought.

"That's right." Nina grinned, clearly enjoying Alex's discomfort. "I'm inside you."

"Eugh!"

"Hey, this ain't exactly a picnic for me either! The only way I can continue to exist is if you stay alive and even then, not for very long. As we speak, the remnants of my psyche are slowly being absorbed by yours. I'm turning into the person I despise more than anything! It's driving me crazy!"

"Crazi_er_."

Before "Ghost-Nina" could respond, the door behind Alex slid open with a pneumatic hiss. He turned to see the other contender for his "Person I Would Most Like to Dunk in a Vat of Acid" award.

"Come along Alex," Doctor Worth ordered, motioning for her guards to haul him to his feet "there's someone I'd like you to meet."

TBC...

A/N: Th-th-th-that's all folks! The next chapter will be up as soon as I can get it up, but I need your reviews to boost my enthusiasm for writing. They're like crack to me.


	16. The Name Game

A/N: A lot quicker than the last one, but still not as quick as it could have been. I apologize. Also, I apologize to Ianto and/or Owen and/or Gwen fans, for their conspicuous absence in this chapter. I've kind of written them into a dead end, and I have to figure out how to get them out of it.

**Amelia McDermid: **I did know that. I just think that when referring to someone publicly on the internet, it's best to use their username, but since you've gone and put it in your review, I guess you don't mind.

**Bewildered Butterfly: **I do have plans for Nina, don't you worry. Also, I have recently had a flash of inspiration that totally changes how my Torchwood trilogy was going to end, which means I get to have a lot more fun seeding in clues for the rest of "Headache". It'll still be slow going, but I think it's safe to say that the worst of the writer's block (in regard to Jack, Tosh and Alex at least) is over.

**sci.figirl382: **I've decided that just giving my new character an arbitrary name would be unfair to everyone who _did _send in suggestions, so I gave to the one reader who actually wrote a story. I do like the sound of 'Kate', though...expect to see a Kate somewhere in my future work.

**hotflower901: **She was? Now I feel stupid. "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" is one of my all time favourite movies ever (did you know ALL the cartoon characters are hand drawn and animated? That's pretty amazing, if you ask me) and I don't even know who did the voice of Jessica Rabbit!

I'm also hoping your trip to Atlanta will provide you with some material, and if it happens to be fanfiction, I'd love to read it. A large quantity of members on this site don't seem to write anything at all. I'd love to read it even if it's an original work, but thats a bit trickier.

**leastauklet: **Thanks muchly, new reviewer! You are new right? I'm pretty sure I haven't seen you around before.

**bbmcowgirl: **Every review counts! True, I do prefer the long ones, but I still get that warm, fuzzy feeling inside. As they say, it's not the size, but what you do with it that counts.

**canadianskick: **That bad, huh? Well I find that the best thing to get the creativity juices flowing is good, old-fashioned feed back. If your ongoing story happens to be fanfiction, I would urge you to post it on this very site, as is. I would happily read and review it, whether or not I am familiar with the fandom (you don't have to be to recognize good writing). If it's not fanfiction, then I suggest showing it around to a few close friends, preferably those who share a similar interest in writing.

I love that I made you laugh, and, just in case I got your name wrong, I thought you might like to know that YOU are my contest winner! Hooray! You are now immortalised as a character in a Torchwood fanfic! At least until the site pulls my story (I hear they do that after a while)

**elretardo-69: **Intermission? I'll have you know that a (possibly) very important plot point was introduced in the previous chapter! I'm not going to tell you what it was, of course. It should've been obvious.

**SpringSnow: **If the cliffhanger doesn't blind you with impotent rage, I haven't done it right. Of course, it's too late to go back and fix that now, so I'll have to make up with this one. Good thing you don't know where I live, huh?

**XJazz-HandsX: **Hooray! A Nina fan! She's still very much evil, but she's been relegated to the role of comic relief (for now at least). She doesn't make an appearance in this chapter, but expect to see her again!

And, finally, this messge goes out to **coffeemagic** and **kateg123**, who've been conspicuously absent. Is it something I've said, or haven't said? Do you want more slash? Cause I will TOTALLY write more slash. Or funny disclaimers. Whatever the reason, please come back. I miss you.

**DISCLAIMER: **I don't own Torchwood. There's no way I'm taking the blame for _that_ trainwreck.

**WARNINGS: **Brief female nudity, so nothing to interest you guys...unless it does, in which case, enjoy!

And now, without further ado...ladies and...maybe one guy, I present...

**SIXTEEN: THE NAME GAME**

Toshiko glanced around a corner, into an empty corridor, and then back over her shoulder to see Jack, a few feet behind her.

"Coast is clear." She whispered.

"Again? We've been sneaking around for ages and we haven't seen a single sentry." Jack sighed "This sucks!"

"Well I'm sorry, but we are _not_ going down a corridor filled with guards just so you can seduce one!"

"You don't think I can do it, do you?"

"I can't think of anything I care less about!" Toshiko hissed as loud as she dared. "And stop sulking, you're a grown man! Now come on." Toshiko headed down the corridor, with Jack dawdling behind.

"Lousy uptight witch," he muttered "someone should give her a good hard-"

"I can hear you!"

"Well then take my advice!"

"Not all problems can be solved by sex, you know." Toshiko said as they reached the door at the end of the corridor which, on closer inspection, proved to be an elevator.

"Why do you think I have a gun?" Jack asked. Toshiko rolled her eyes and pressed the 'up' button. The doors slid back and they entered the elevator. Jack's hand shot out to the button panel, but Toshiko grabbed just in time.

"We are not going to the roof!" She scolded him, pressing the ground floor button instead.

"You're no fun." Jack pouted.

The elevator doors slid open again, and the pair stepped out into a brightly lit lobby, with genuine marble floors and columns. The place was buzzing with activity. People were rushing back and forth, going about their business. Toshiko strolled over to an oak-panelled reception desk, with Jack at her heels. Halfway across the room, a man came dashing towards her. He inclined his head.

"Welcome, doctor," the man said "or should I say 'konnichiwa'?"

"Excuse me?" Toshiko looked down at herself, realising she was still wearing her purloined lab coat. The man continued talking, completely ignoring her bewilderment.

"It's so exciting to have an expert from the Cybertechnology Institute visiting us here. It's such a pleasure to meet you, doctor…" he paused

"Higurashi." Toshiko finished for him, thinking quickly "Doctor Kagome Higurashi."

"A pleasure to meet you." The man said again, shaking her hand warmly. Jack cleared his throat noisily.

"And this is my assistant, Doctor…"

"Bambi." Jack supplied, shaking the man's hand as well. "It's Swedish."

"Pleased to meet you too." The man enthused. He stopped, noticing Jack's mode of dress for the first time "That's a very interesting coat you're wearing."

"He's going to a costume party after this." Toshiko interrupted, before Jack could say anything stupid or overtly sexual. Their warm welcomer accepted this without argument and smoothly changed the topic.

"Well, if you'll follow me, I'll take you to meet the others. They're all champing at the bit!"

"Can't wait." Toshiko laughed, following the man at a sedate pace, waiting until he was out of earshot before scowling at Jack. "_Bambi_?"

"What, you can be a cartoon character, but I can't?"

"At least my character is human! Why on earth would you choose 'Bambi'?"

"It was Walt's pet name for me." Jack replied.

"I'm not even gonna touch that one."

* * *

As soon as Alex had been frog-marched out of the cell, a black cloth hood had been placed over his head, and drawn tight around his neck. Suddenly afraid, he drew the shallowest breaths he could manage, in order to conserve oxygen. He was suddenly yanked forward and forced into a quick march. His feet skidded out from under him on the cold steel floor, and he just managed to stay upright. He did his best to memorize the twists and turns, and ignore the tickling sensation of the black cloth fluttering against his nose and mouth with every breath.

There was a sudden dip in the floor and the temperature plummeted. The floor continued to slope downwards. The only sound that could be heard was the echo of the guards' heavy combat boots, with the underlying staccato rhythm of Doctor Worth's high heels. After some time, the floor grew level again, and he was forced to a halt. Straining his ears, he made out a soft beep before he was shoved forward once more. The hiss of released air and the deafening clamour of metal on more metal told him that a very heavy door had just shut behind them.

The bag was yanked off his head, and the sudden cold on his warm face was painful. The room was brightly lit, and completely bare. Alex finally looked to the centre of the room, where Doctor Worth was standing by a solid block of metal that came up to her waist. It was so seamless it looked as though it had slid up out of the floor of its own accord; around its base where several thick steel cables, each one bigger than his arm. They interweaved and tangled around the block like a Gordian knot before, eventually separating and trailing into the wall on the opposite side of the room. With a hand signal from the doctor, the guards released him.

"Come here" she beckoned. Seeing no other options, Alex obeyed. He approached the metal block with trepidation. When he was standing beside it, he was struck dumb. There was a large glass panel, and under it laid a naked girl, about his age, perhaps older, floating in some un-nameable liquid that filled the entire tank. Her eyes were closed as though merely sleeping, and her dark hair drifted around her shoulders like seaweed. Her nose and mouth were hidden by the oxygen mask strapped to her face. Alex's hand crept forward without the involvement of any higher thought process, and stroked the glass separating them. He felt an incredible, irresistible pull from her, the sort of thing he couldn't, shouldn't and _wouldn't_ fight. He wanted to run, to the other side of the world if possible, but his feet refused to budge. The light directly above them sparked and burst, snapping him from his reverie. He turned to Doctor Worth.

"Who is she?"

"We call her Myka."

"Why?"

"Pulled it from a hat, if you must know."

"Myka." Alex repeated, rolling the name in his mouth as though tasting it. "Is she like me?"

"Sort of," the doctor shrugged her shoulders "but sort of not. To use a crude analogy, you are to her what a pen knife is to an atomic bomb. This is the only way she can be safely contained, in total suspended animation. She is, by a wide margin, the most powerful of all of you."

"Where is she from?"

"No idea. We found her twenty years ago, naked and babbling. She killed dozens of people before we managed to even get near her. All attempts to study her have failed. Electroencephalograph failed miserably, of course. Neuroimaging just gave us static, which _ought_ to be impossible. Now we only have one option left."

"What's that?"

"You." Doctor Worth turned to Alex "You are going to go into her mind and communicate with her, maybe even cobble her brain back together and help her reach something resembling sanity."

"No." Alex stated simply "It's impossible. It can't be done."

"Nina could do it."

"You knew about that?" Alex froze "Well, whatever you say, the answer's still no. I can't do it and even if I could, I wouldn't. You can't make me."

"Wanna bet?" the doctor nodded to the two guards standing by, one of whom broke ranks and moved to a keypad in the wall. A quick sequence of numbers later, and a section of the wall slid open, allowing entrance to another pair of guards, escorting another prisoner, who's head was covered just as Alex's had been. With another nod from Doctor Worth, the bag was unceremonious tugged off the captive.

Alex's stomach plummeted. A brittle, tense silence filled the room

"No way." Alex forced the syllables through his constricted throat, slowly shaking his head in disbelief. "No _fucking_ way."

TBC

Review or I'll cry. That is all.


	17. Deal Or No Deal

A/N: Yeesh, am I ever sorry that I said there'd be karaoke. For some reason, that bit was really hard to write. I mean, can you seriously see any of them doing karaoke anyway? I know my Torchwood team tends to be a bit OOC, but that was a stretch, even for me. Actually, there's a lot about this chapter I don't like, but I can't think of a better way to do it. Alex's story is progressing at least, which is important, because they way I've plotted this entire fic requires his story to move faster than the others. So if it seems like there's a slight time discrepancy, there probably is one.

**Amelia McDermid: **It was rather obvious, wasn't it? There weren't a lot of other choices really. I promise you though that it is important to the story (at least I think so), and not just some cheap way for everyone to "live happily ever after".

**el-retardo69: **You want to actually go out and kill a Doe, and give you its orphaned offspring for your birthday? That's a bit twisted, don't you think?

**bbmcowgirl: **Bambi is actually someone's name? I'm horrified. Also, what does the 'bbm' in your name stand for?

**sci.girl382: **You were caught in a fire? Scary stuff. I hope you're okay now. I'd sure like to see some of your writing.

**Bewildered Butterfly: **Especially considering all the rumours flying around about Walt being a Nazi supporter, and Jack being a member of the RAF. And yes, leaving it there was evil, but I thought that everybody would guess who it was.

**Treesah Quiche: **Here you go. Don't expect the next chapter for a while though. I'm going to be staying in Tasmania with my Dad for a week, so I'll be busy preparing for the flight, but worry not. Once I get there, I'll have little else to do BUT write.

**Lord Ankh: **As soon as I saw your review, I wanted to sit down and grind this chapter out right then and there. A guy has to take care of his readers, after all. But I had to go get a haircut. I hope you feel better soon.

**DISCLAIMER: **I hereby disclaim all ownership of Torchwood, and all affliated trademarks. Also, I make no money off this, but if you want to send me some, I won't complain.

**WARNING: **Nothing at all. Well, except 'teh ghey', but you should all know that by now.

**SEVENTEEN: DEAL OR NO DEAL**

"I want to talk to him." Alex said finally. "Alone"

"Certainly," Doctor Worth began "as soon as you've-"

"NOW!" Alex yelled, causing everyone else in the room to flinch. Doctor Worth, being the very example of tact and grace beat a swift retreat, followed by her bodyguards. As soon as the door slid shut behind them, Alex turned back to the newcomer, looking him up and down briefly. He was tall, at least six and a half feet, broad shouldered and similarly garbed, though his clothes looked more worn. His dark hair was quite long, covering the left half of his face. The one eye Alex could see was an electric blue that stood out from his pale skin.

Quickly, he strode across the room, and took the stranger's hand in his. It was warm, solid flesh. Alex let out a laugh that was more like a sob.

"You're real. You're really…real!" Alex moved his hands up the boy's –man, rather- arms, and over his shoulders.

"Ow, not so tight; are you trying to squeeze my arms off?"

"Sorry," Alex pulled his hands away quickly, as though he'd been burned. "Sam…I thought you were dead. I'm just so…relieved!"

"If you're relieved, imagine how I feel." Sam smirked.

Unable to hold himself in any longer, Alex rushed forward and wrapped his arms around Sam, burying his face into the older boy's shoulder, which he only just came up to. Sam didn't move. Confused, Alex pulled away to see that Sam's arms were still firmly clasped behind his back.

"What's wrong?"

"Handcuffs." Sam shrugged "They always cuff me when they take me between rooms, because I've tried to escape so often. Never get very far though, the place is a maze, and they've really beefed up the security since you were last here."

"You're alright, aren't you? They haven't hurt you or anything?"

"No. I'm fine…" The unspoken '_now_' hung in the air. Alex stared at Sam. That curtain of hair was starting to look very suspicious. Alex reached out and swept it away.

"Holy-" He bit his tongue. Now was not a time for swearing. A large, ugly, jagged scar ran down the left side of Sam's face, tearing through his eye. It looked all mashed up, like someone had physically stuck their finger in it and swirled the colours around.

"It's not as bad as it looks." Sam insisted

"Who did this?" Alex asked, quivering with the effort to keep his voice down. "I'll kill 'em."

"Nina."

"Oh. Damn."

"When I came back to get you, I ran into her. She totally thrashed me. It took ten guards to pull her off me."

"Wait a minute," Alex stared into Sam's unseeing eye "Why didn't it heal?"

"You can thank the good doctor for that. These new collars suppress the healing factor. I guess she thought if we were more easily wounded, we wouldn't try so hard to run away."

"Don't suppose you've figured out how to remove the collars yet?"

"Genetic lock," Sam shrugged "it responds to the touch of a specific person."

"No prizes for guessing who." Alex scowled.

"Getting the collar off wouldn't do me any good anyway. Now that the injury is healed, that's it. They actually knocked me out and tried cutting it again with the collar off. It healed back the exact same way."

"I'm going to get us out of here. There has to be a way." He frowned as Sam chuckled dryly. "What's so funny?"

"I'm older and bigger," Sam replied, leaning forward so their foreheads pressed together. "I'm supposed to be doing the rescuing."

"A fine job you've done so far." Alex drawled sarcastically, bringing a small smile to Sam's face.

"It's funny," he sighed "despite everything, I'm really glad you're here. I haven't stopped thinking about you. Not even for a second."

Guilt struck Alex like a punch in the gut when he realised he couldn't honestly say the same. When he had escaped, he had pushed Sam to the back of his mind, determined to forget him, assuming he was dead and gone. His encounter with Nina had proven it, strengthening his resolve to move on with his life.

"Sam, I-" before he could say anything, the door slid open. Doctor Worth re-entered, followed by the guards.

"Do we have a deal?" She enquired.

"What deal?" Sam looked between Alex and the doctor, perplexed.

"It's simple really," she replied "either Alex helps us out with our coma patient, or…" she ran a finger across her throat. "So…do we have a deal?"

Alex folded his arms and stared stonily at Doctor Worth, ignoring Sam's shocked expression.

"I'll think about it."

* * *

"Are you sure this is the right place?" Ianto asked, raising an eyebrow at the flickering neon sign above the narrow doorway. In past decades it had read "The Empty Orchestra", a not-so-clever play on the literal translation of "karaoke". Now, though, most of the letters had gone out or been broken, and it now read "hEmp Orca", which was barely an improvement.

"Yep," Gwen nodded. "This is where Thomas Walton used to work."

"What are we doing here anyway?" Owen asked.

"I thought we could ask around," Gwen shrugged "see if anybody knew what he got up to in his time off. Besides, it could be fun."

"Yeah," Owen snorted "almost as fun as pounding nails through my dick."

They squeezed through the entrance in single file, and climbed up the narrow flight of stairs they found within. Eventually, they emerged in a cramped, smoke-filled den. The walls, floor, and roof were dark red, with low black coffee tables and over stuffed armchairs scattered about the place. A few simple Chinese ink paintings hung on the walls, an obvious attempt to make the place look genuinely Asian. It was like someone had bought an old opium den and put a microphone in it.

To the left was a small bar, where a rather harried-looking young woman was doing her best to serve drinks despite the fact that everyone was in their own line, and insisted on ordering all at once. At the far end of the room stood a small stage, where some make-up covered monstrosity was standing in the tiny spotlight, screaming in the microphone at the top of her lungs. Most likely an effort to drown out the chorus of boos.

"WhatI like about youuuuuuuu_,_" she screeched "you really know how to dance. The way you go up, down, jump around, like you've got ants in your pants_._"

"Oh god," Ianto muttered, covering his face in sympathetic embarrassment "she doesn't even know the words! And they're right there on the screen!"

"Oi!" Gwen cupped her hands around her mouth and shouted out over the din. "Someone, buy this girl a glass of talent!" The music stopped abruptly.

"You think you can do better?" The girl on stage spoke into the microphone. All eyes turned to look at Gwen. "Well let's see." The girl stepped back from the microphone as Gwen picked her way through the crowd, towards the stage. Ianto and Owen stared at her.

"Right," said Owen finally "I'm going to get a drink." He clapped Ianto on the shoulder as he left. Ianto merely stared as Gwen stepped up to the microphone confidently, smiling in spite of the crowd of hecklers. They went silent as the music started.

"_A goddess on the mountain top_

_Was burning like a silver flame_

_The summit of beauty and love_

_And Venus was her name_."

As she moved into the chorus Gwen started to sway her hips back and forth. It was almost hypnotic. The men in the audience were certainly reacting. Ianto was just glad Jack wasn't there to see the second verse, when Gwen unhooked the microphone and stepped off the stage, onto the nearest coffee table.

"_Her weapons were her crystal eyes_

_Making every man mad_

_Black as the dark night she was_

_Got what no-one else had_

_Wow!_"

Gwen looked over to Ianto from her vantage point on the coffee table and winked. He could do no more than blush furiously. Finally, as the song drew to a close, she made her way back to the stage and replaced the microphone. The final note died away and silence filled the room. Without warning, applause erupted from every corner. A few people even gave her standing ovation.

"Thank you, thank you!" She bowed, before departing the stage and returning to Ianto, flushed and grinning. "Well?" She asked "You gonna get up there?"

"No."

* * *

Toshiko stormed down the hallway, with Jack in tow. They had finally managed to chase away their overly-enthusiastic guide when they reached the residential floors, convincing him they could find their own way to their room.

"Ugh," she sighed "what a terrifying ordeal."

"I don't know," Jack shrugged "I thought it was good; especially when you compared Cybermen to Robocop."

"Well what else was I supposed to do?" Toshiko asked, glaring at Jack "You weren't exactly helpful, bursting out into laughter every second sentence!"

"But it was so hilarious, watching all those scientists studiously taking notes while you were just talking out of your ass."

Toshiko stopped suddenly.

"This is us, room 376." She swiped the key card and pushed the door open. "Oh my god!" she exclaimed "this almost makes all the humiliation worth it!" Jack entered after her. The room was lavishly decorated and sparkling clean. It would have been a penthouse, if they were on the top floor.

While Toshiko stood in the centre of the room, spinning slowly, open-mouthed, like one of those carnival clowns you shoot water at, Jack leapt onto the wraparound leather couch, and picked up what looked like a tiny television screen that was resting on the glass coffee table. It immediately flickered into life.

"Holy crap!" He exclaimed, looking at the screen "this is a _remote_? And I thought the _fifty_-first century was decadent." After fiddling with the remote for a few seconds, a section of the oak-panelled wall slid upwards to reveal a television taller than he was. He turned it on and immediately started channel surfing, stopping abruptly. "Hey, free porn!"

* * *

Meanwhile, down in the lobby, a demure Japanese woman approached the front desk.

"Can I help you?" The night-clerk asked.

"Yes, hello; I'm Doctor Etsuko, from the Cybertchnology Institute in Osaka. I'm here to do a series of presentations."

"Just a second." The clerk picked up a phone, pressing 2 for a direct line to the head of the cybertechnology department.

"Good evening sir- yes I know it's late- It's just that I have Doctor Etsuko here from the Cybertechnology Institute…are you sure? Alright, sorry for disturbing you…good night sir." The clerk hung up the phone and turned to Doctor Etsuko.

"Is everything alright?"

"Can I get you to hold on, for just a second?" The clerk asked, smiling politely as she reached under the desk and activated the silent alarm.

A/N: Poor Doctor Etsuko is a one-off character I'm afraid, and will not be seen again. Her fate will forever be a mystery. Just wanted to make sure you all knew that.

In case any of you are wondering what I'll be doing after my Torchwood trilogy, I have a few projects in mind. First is an on- going Doctor Who fic, which will play out like an ordinary season, with me writing stories as they come to me.

Second is a fanfic set in Kelley Armstrong's "Women of the Otherworld series, which I will probably be writing concurrently with the Doctor Who thing. Dunno how many of you are familiar with Otherworld, but there doesn't seem to be much in the way of slash over at the Kelley Armstrong section, so I'm hoping to corner the market (if any fans of the series are reading this, I assure you I will not be messing up any canon relationships...unless you ask nicely). I'm planning to make it a fair bit raunchier than my previous works (translation: actual depictions of actual sex).

Finally, as some of of my long-time readers may remember me mentioning, I'm also planning a modernized, slashified adaptation of "Pride and Prejudice". The basic story will be the same, it's just that 'Lizzie' will now be 'Liam'. If any of you have comments, questions, or suggestions, I'd be pleased to hear them. And, as always don't forget to tell me what you think of this chapter!


	18. Nocturnal Activities

A/N: Greetings from Tasmania! Sorry this took so long. I would've had it up sooner but my Dad's been breathing down my neck ever since I got here. Always wanting to 'do stuff' and 'be with me'. What is it with parents? Glad I'll never be one.

**el-retardo69:** Even people who haven't seen Bambi know his mother gets shot, c'mon!

**sci.girl382: **Glad to hear it. I would've had this up sooner, but as Virginia Woolf says, one of the most important things writer needs is a room of one's own, and I haven't been able to get five minutes alone, let alone a room!

**hotflower901: **Well, what with it being slash and all, women won't feature much, as victims or otherwise. Actually, the cast is so far comprised of totally original characters, and whether or not any canon characters will feature I haven't decided, I only have a few key scenes figured out.

I'm not much for the women either, I'm mostly in it for the humour and the whole blending of the supernatural with everyday life thing. Although now I think of it, my protagonist will be placed in at least a few "damsel in distress" type situations, but then I am trying to mimic the Otherworld style. I hope you'll read it anyway. I don't think it'll get many reviews unless I can entice over some of my current readers.

**Amelia McDermid: **Gwen was singing "Venus", made famous by Shocking Blue. It's quite a popular song, but substantially harder to recognise without the chorus, which I left it out because it's long and repetitive, which would make it very boring to read.

**bbmcowgirl: **I was actually more surprised that a parent would do that to their child. Maybe it was reverse-karma, for what a bitch she was going to be. I'm probably the only person in the entire world who hasn't seen Brokeback Mountain. Surprising as that may sound, it just never appealed to me.

**canadianskick: **Well, you're not going to explode...yet. Congrats on the school play, what's your role? If you're still interested in having me for a beta (I can do spelling, characters and description, but you may want a grammar nazi on staff as well), head over to connections in the "DocX" section of your login, and make a connection with me (the guide has instructions on how to do that). Then we'll be able to exchange documents securely.

Don't worry, Thomas isn't really important, he was just a catalyst. The Otherworld series is quite good, but, as **hotflower901** pointed out, despite being the protagonists, the women tend to be victimized rather a lot.

**DISCLAIMER: **I don't own Torchwood. If you're angry at the way the show is going, Russel T. Davies is the one to talk to. And by talk to, I mean lynch.

**WARNING:** Slight plot progression, angst, a science class flashback and somewhat smutty, pointless humour. In that order.

**EIGHTEEN: NOCTURNAL ACTIVITIES**

Owen squeezed his way through the crowd and made his way to the bar, which had been recently vacated by all the patrons moving to see the incredible spectacle of someone in a karaoke bar who could actually sing. He leaned over the alcohol-soaked counter, where the bargirl was crouching down in a corner, taking a brief rest.

"Hi!" He said, causing her to jump. "Mind if I talk to you for a bit?"

"That depends." The girl said, standing up "What about?"

"First of all, get me a beer." Owen said. The girl quickly complied, grumbling. "Second of all," Owen continued, fishing around in the breast pocket of his jacket "do you know…" he pulled out a photo Gwen had printed from Thomas's file "this bloke?"

The girl returned with Owen's beer and snatched the photo from his hand.

"Oh yeah, this is Thomas." She handed the photo back to Owen "he comes in most nights. Haven't seen him lately, though."

"Do you know what he did on his time off?"

"Probably watch 'Star Trek' or something. He's a real sci-fi buff. He even does the Vulcan-hand thing instead of waving, but aside from that, he's harmless."

"When was the last time you saw him?"

"About a week ago, I think."

"Was he acting normally? Did he seem excited, or maybe nervous?"

"He seemed fine; why are you asking me all this?"

"Just a…concerned relative. Mind if I have that back?" Owen took the photo from the girl's unresisting fingers. "Thanks."

Before the girl could say anything, Gwen came rushing up to the bar, almost colliding with the counter. Her face was flushed and her eyes were wide and shiny.

"Alcohol, please!" She exclaimed, giggling with excitement "Lots and lots of alcohol!"

The girl quickly complied, pouring Gwen a pint of beer, which she quickly downed, slamming the glass back on the table. "More please!"

"Where's Ianto?" Owen asked.

"Who?" Gwen asked "Oh, _Ianto_. He went back to the hotel. Thanks." She took the refilled glass and grabbed Owen's hand. "C'mon, frog-face, let's do a duet!" She turned around and immediately ran into the person beside her, spilling beer all over herself. "Hey, watch i- You!"

"You!"

* * *

Ianto sat on his tiny single bed, staring out the window at the London skyline. From here, he could even see the Torchwood tower, or One Canada Square, as it was known to the rest of the world. Memories of that day came flooding back. The screams, the heat…the pain. He pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes to pre-emptively halt the flow of tears. He knew before his head hit the pillow that the nightmares he had fought so hard to conquer would return. And nobody was going to be there when he woke up.

* * *

"I am so fucked." Alex slammed his head back against the wall of his cell and slid down to the floor. "If I do it, they'll turn Myka into a weapon. And if I don't, they'll kill Sam. Why didn't you tell me he was alive?"

"Because I _hate_ you," Nina replied from her spot on the bed "how do you not get that?"

"Well, you really didn't need to go out of your way to upset me. I have enough trouble without you."

"Yeah, yeah, the man you love versus potentially the entire world. It's a _dilemma_, I get it already! Now can you please go to sleep so _I_ can go to sleep? I may be a disembodied mind, but I still have needs."

"I am not in love with him! Beisdes, there's no way I can sleep like this!" Alex turned to Nina angrily. "This is all your fault, you psycho Nazi bitch!"

"_My_ fault? You're the one who got us captured, Houdini!"

"I would never have gone out of the Hub if you hadn't tried to make me think I was going insane, with all your visions, and flickering lights and scary woo-woo noises!"

"Woo-woo noises?"

"You know what I mean!" Alex placed his head in his hands. "God, this is hopeless! Even if I wanted to do what Doctor Worth is asking, I haven't the faintest idea how!"

"Sure you can." Nina shrugged "Going into someone's mind is easy."

"What are you talking about?"

"You've already done it a few times." Nina said.

"When?"

"Well…you know thought-form projection?"

"What about it?"

"Well, it isn't really thought-form projection. It's just thought projection. Instead of making an object in your head real," Nina explained "what you're _actually_ doing is projecting that image into someone else's head."

"I'm not following."

"Okay." Nina rubbed her temples. "You've read the Welsh guy's biology textbooks, so this shouldn't be too hard to explain. The brain controls everything, right?" Alex nodded "Good, so by tapping into someone's brain, you could conceivably control their entire body. Make them walk, talk, stand on their heads, whatever. But," she raised a finger "in order to know what to do, the brain gets little messages from other parts of the body, like the eyes, and the ears, and the nervous system." She paused. "You remember the part about the nervous system, right?"

"Yes." Alex nodded. "Nerve endings under the skin relay sensations such as hot, cold, pain, pleasure and so-on to the brain, which sends back directions about how to react to each situation."

"Good, but when you thought-project, you send the system into reverse. Your brain uses the memories of the object that you're projecting, to tell the other person how something should smell, taste, feel, whatever. From there, it's just a small step to break into their higher thought processes, and from there you can practically free-fall into the subconscious."

"Okay, but how does that help me?" Alex asked. "I don't need to know _how_ to do it; I need to know how to get out of this mess. All you gave me was a lot of worthless exposition!"

"Alright, alright, calm down." Nina leaned forward "What if I told you there was a third option? One that gave us both what we wanted?"

Alex's ears pricked up.

"I'm listening."

* * *

Toshiko had gone to bed sometime ago, refusing to stay up and watch "Crouching Tiger, Raging Hard-on", despite Jack assertion that it was very culturally sensitive, and totally educational. The Captain himself was wide awake and stark-naked (except for his wristband, of course), lying upside down on the couch, with his legs resting on the back, and his head dangling over the edge of the seat. It may not have looked it, but he was conducting a very important experiment.

Jack's hypothesis was that by maintaining his rather impressive erection, he would be able to prevent the blood from rushing to his head. He checked the time display on his wrist. Going on thirty minutes now and he didn't even feel slightly dizzy. Success! But now what to do about the erection? Jack fumbled for the phone, knocking it off the table. He lifted the handset to his ear and reached down to hit '1'.

"Hello, is this room service? What? Oh, hang on…" He flipped the handset the right way up "Better? Okay, good. Yeah, this is room 376. I'm gonna need a fondue pot full of melted chocolate, a bowl of strawberries, and one of those little-brush thingies you use to wipe oil onto things. And what do you have in the way of attractive redheads? Twins, you say? A brother _and _sister?" He checked his watch again and sighed. "Actually, I have to get up early tomorrow, better just get the chocolate and the strawberries...Nah, forget the brush, I'll just use my hands. Five minutes, you say? Okay, see you then."

A/N: Who did Gwen run into? What is Nina's plan? Will Jack's theory revolutionise the hand-stand industry? All these questions and less will be answered, but only if you review!

...

REVIEW!


	19. Strange Bedfellows

A/N: Sorry this took so long, I've been busy. Applying for Uni, trying to write a resume (hardest thing _ever_!) But it's here now. I suppose you must've all been just as busy as me, though. Only four reviews?

As a sidenote: Everyone go read **canadianskick's** story! I beta'd it, so you know it has to be good!

As _another_ side note: I BROKE MY REVIEW LIMIT! WOOHOO! 145 REVIEWS! (ahem). We now return you to your scheduled programme.

**Bewildered Butterfly:** Once you explain the particulars of the experiment, I'm sure you'll have any number of willing test subjects.

**Amelia McDermid: **Not much blush-worthy in this chapter, I'm afraid.

**canadianskick: **Believe me, I have plenty more where those came from. Good luck being 'Mother'.

**el-retardo69: **Well, you should've seen "Journey's End" already, so me telling you what happens wuld be kind of redundant.

**DISCLAIMER: **

I do not own Torchwood,  
If I did, I would be rich.  
The second season would suck less,  
And Jack would be my bitch.

**WARNING:**

Nothing here worth mentioning,  
It wouldn't shock you, anyway.  
But if you don't like swearing,  
I suggest you go away.

**NINETEEN: STRANGE BEDFELLOWS**

"What are you doing here?" Gwen and Kathy demanded in unison "I asked first! No, _I _asked first."

"Oi!" Owen shouted "Perfectly symmetrical arguing never solved anything. Now, Gwen, be a good girl and tell the nice detective what we're doing here."

"Investigating a murder." Gwen muttered sullenly, blushing with the embarrassment of being told off.

"Now you." Owen said, nodding towards Kathy.

"I've been suspended, pending an investigation into my association with your teenage terrorist friend. Apparently, Doctor Worth told my boss that I was 'unco-operative'." Kathy shrugged her shoulders. "So I decided to use the time to visit my sister and her kids."

"Which one's Doctor Worth again?" Owen asked.

"Redhead, big tits." Gwen used her hands to demonstrate.

"Oh yeah, I remember her." Owen smiled faintly and his eyes misted over with nostalgia.

"Can I hit him?" Kathy asked "It won't leave a bruise."

"I wouldn't bother." Gwen shrugged "He won't feel it, he's too far gone."

"So now what do we do?"

"Wanna get drunk and sing duets?" Gwen asked hopefully.

"Go on, then." Kathy sighed. Gwen squealed with delight and grabbed her hand, dragging her towards the stage.

* * *

The girl behind the bar watched as the two women vanished in the tightly-packed crowd, before turning her attention to the frog-lipped man. He seemed pretty out of it too. She quickly ducked under the bar and pulled out a piece of laminated card that read '**Back in 5 minutes**', placing it on the countertop, before strolling over to the emergency exit. She blinked for a few seconds under the harsh lighting, and carefully made her way downstairs.

She opened another door at the bottom of the steps and shivered as she was assaulted by the sharp gust of wind that blew directly in her face. It was like being pricked by needles. Nevertheless, she steeled herself and stepped out into the dark, filthy alleyway. One hand went into the right pocket and drew a pack of cigarettes, the other drew a lighter. She put the cigarette to her lips, shielding it with her hand, lit it, returned the lighter to its pocket, and crumpled the now empty cigarette packet before tossing it carelessly into some dark recess of the alleyway.

She amused herself for a few seconds by blowing smoke rings, watching the pale wisps hang in the air before they were dispersed by the breeze.

After a few seconds of silence, she took the mobile phone clipped to her belt, flipped it open and scrolled through the contacts, stopping suddenly. She pressed the 'call' button, and pressed it to her ear.

"Hi, it's Josie, from the karaoke bar? You said if someone came around and asked about Tom, I should call you. Alright, I suppose I can hang around a bit after closing…if you make it worth my while."

* * *

"What do you want?" Doctor Worth asked. She was wearing a lab coat, hastily tossed over polka-dot pyjamas, and her hair was a mess. A scowl was smeared over her usually smiling face. Apparently, she was not a morning person; certainly not a 'three o'clock in the morning' person, at any rate.

"I want out of this hamster cage." Alex replied, folding his arms. "Five hours in the training room everyday."

"Two."

"Four."

"Three."

"Done. And Sam gets the same, at the same times."

"How stupid do you think I am?"

"This is his deal too. If I'm going to do this, I'll need his help. We're putting our lives on the line for your science project, so you can give me what I want, or you can find some other 'Tomorrow People' to do it for you."

"Where do you get all these pop culture references?" Doctor Worth asked.

"I pick things up, here and there." Alex shrugged "Do we have a deal or not?"

"Deal." Doctor Worth put out her hand. Alex glanced at it but made no move to take it. After a moment, she drew it back.

"We'll start work next week."

"Next week?"

"Sam and I will need the extra time to…experiment."

"This is completely outrageous."

"It's next week or not at all."

After the Doctor left, Alex flopped down on the bed.

"I think it went well."

"Argh!" Alex leapt back, falling over the edge of the bed. He grabbed at the sheets, but only succeeded in dragging them off with him. Red-faced, he sat up to see Nina on the bare mattress, clutching her stomach and laughing so hard she cried.

"Oh," she wiped away tears of mirth "that was so _good_. It never gets old!"

"Hilarious." Alex said, crawling back onto the bed. "You know, you're starting sound like me."

"Am not!"

"Are too."

"Don't make me kick your arse!" She froze. "Oh God, I _do_ sound like you. My consciousness is being overwhelmed by the sheer intensity of your stupid."

"Hey!"

"Time is running out. If we don't put my plan into action soon, our minds will be bonded forever."

"Gross."

"Tell me about it."

* * *

Ianto awoke with a start and a scream, sitting bolt upright. It took a few seconds for the events of last night to filter into his brain. He relaxed visibly as the unfamiliar surroundings registered as his hotel room. He groaned and scrubbed at his face with his hands, before throwing off the sheets and walking over to the window, yanking the curtains wide open. Sunlight streamed into the room, and the shapeless lump in the bed next to his began to stir.

"Rise and shine, Owen, it's a beautiful day!"

"Fuck off, Teaboy." The lump moaned "I have a hangover as big as Russia."

"Charming as usual, I see." Ianto grabbed his towel from the foot of his bed and made his way to the bathroom, shutting the door behind him as loud as he could.

* * *

Gwen was awoken by a knock on her door. She peeled her face from the pillow and stared at it through a curtain of hair. She was supposed to say something, but what exactly, she had no idea. Whoever it was knocked again, the noise echoing in her alcohol-soaked brain like someone dropping anvils on a steel floor.

"Gwen?"

"Yes, Mr Door?" She slurred, trying not to throw up. Her mouth tasted like battery acid.

"I'm just popping out to get some breakfast, do you want to come?"

"No thankyou. My, um- thing, on my neck…"

"Your head?"

"Yeah, that thing. It um, whassaword?"

"Hurts?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, see you later."

"Bye, Mr. Door. You know you sound a lot like this guy I work with. What's his name again? Starts with a Y."

When the door didn't reply, Gwen rolled over, accidentally bumping heads with the person sleeping next to her.

"Ow."

"M'sorry."

The room drifted back into peaceful silence. Gwen's eyelids drifted shut. Then they snapped open again. She found herself staring into a pair of dark brown eyes, wide with shock.

"AARGH!"

A/N: That last bit was for the currently absent, **kateg123**, who suggested a Gwen/Kathy thing many chapters ago. Mwahahaha! Sorry for the lack of Jack (rhyming!) in this chapter. He WILL be in the next one, fear not.

Reviews are the strawberries in the otherwise bland cereal that is my life.


	20. Chapter Titles Are Tricky

A/N: Okay, I KNOW it's super-late, and I'm really sorry. I made this chapter extra-long to make up for it.

I kept setting deadlines for myself, and I was sure I'd have it up last night, but every time I sat down to write, someone would barge in with a new chore I had to do or some problem only I could solve. Last night's fic-writing time was actually spent weed-whacking the entire front lawn, cause the stupid mower won't bloody start. Also, I'm getting a bit bored with Torchwood (finally getting to watch the second season helped some, but not much). Worry not! To alleviate boredom, I started work on my Doctor Who project. I've got an awesome story for my first "episode", and I started writing it, but only a couple pages so far, since this fic is my top priority.

Now here's the fun bit! I need inspiration for the other twelve stories, and this is where you, my loyal, loving, ever-forgiving readers come in! If any of you happen to be fans of vintage Doctor Who, I need your suggestions for old enemies that could resurface to give our favourite Time Lord a rough time, planets that can be re-explored, characters that can...y'know...be character-y.

Even if you aren't familiar with the old Doctor Who, there's no need to feel left out! Any story ideas are welcome, ranging from "they go to a candy-planet, and some thing bad happens", to a full and detailed synopsis, complete with labelled diagrams and snippets of suggested dialogue, although that will be a bit trickier to send to me.

**Amelia McDermid: **You always write so little, I hardly know what to say. Did you get your hands on a copy of season two yet? I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.

**el-retardo69: **The one with Kylie is "Voyage of the Damned". "Jouney's End" was the last episode. I didn't like "Voyage of the Damned" much either, someone should tell RTD that the "space titanic" idea was already done.

**sci.girl382: **I don't have as much work as you, I think, but I've been applying for jobs. I'm hoping to get something book/videogame store related. Good luck with your uni application.

**hotflower901: **Ew! No! Never! Ianto/Owen creeps me out. In fact, Owen/Anybody creeps me out. Not that I'm saying he's undeserving of love, but...well, actually, I guess that is what I'm saying.

**canadianskick: **I am more than happy to recommend your stuff to anyone, but apparently my endorsement doesn't do much (shame on you, fellow readers!). I feel slightly guilty when I look at other Torchwood fics. On a good day, I get about 10 reviews per chapter, and I see others that hardly have any! Of course, some of them are horrible, filthy, miserable excuses for fiction that ought to have been drowned at conception, but I quite like yours. I'm hoping to see the next chapter up soon.

**DISCLAIMER:  
**I do not own Torchwood,  
I say that every time.  
Disclaimers are annoying,  
And it's hard to make them rhyme.

**WARNING:  
**We're up to chapter twenty,  
So by now it should be clear:  
If you don't like slash or swearing,  
Then you sure don't belong here.

**TWENTY: CHAPTER TITLES ARE TRICKY**

Jack yawned and stretched, scratched his chest a bit and rolled off the couch. Clumsily, he pulled himself to his feet and made his way over to a small mahogany table with a bowl of fruit resting on it. He grabbed a shiny red apple and tore a huge chunk out of it with his teeth. The click-clack of stiletto heels echoed from a dark doorway, and Toshiko burst into the room, tying her hair back and fixing it in place with bobby pins that she held in her mouth.

"Okay," she mumbled around the bobby pins "so I've got one lecture this morning and another in the afternoon, and I was thinking that-ah!" The last bobby pin fell out of her mouth and she quickly averted her gaze.

"Jack?"

"Yes, Tosh?"

"You're naked." He saw the brief flicker of eye movement as she risked a sidelong glance at him. "And you have a strawberry stuck to your face."

Jack pulled the strawberry off his face, regarded it carefully for a moment, and then ate it.

"So, anyway," Toshiko continued, still looking anywhere but at Jack, which was quite the feat. Normally, when Jack was naked, all the eyes in the room were instantly drawn to him, as though he had an odd sort of sexual gravity. Not to mention, of course, the pheromones. "I was thinking, in between lectures, we could split up and do some reconnaissance, figure out the layout of the building, see if we can find out where Doctor Worth works."

"Sounds like a plan." Jack nodded approvingly, taking another big bite of his apple. "So what are you going to talk about this morning?"

"Power sources." Toshiko replied "What do cybermen run on, again?"

"Fuck if I know."

"Alright, I'll just make something up then." Toshiko sighed "It's not like they know any better anyway. Now get dressed, we have work to do."

"Do I have to?"

* * *

Gwen hopped around the room, trying to get her second leg in her jeans and find a t-shirt at the same time. "Walking on Sunshine" played faintly on the radio in the background.

"Okay," she glanced briefly at Kathy, who was buttoning up her skirt "so what exactly happened last night?"

"Um, well, we got drunk."

"Yeah, I remember that bit. And then we sang 'Ebony and Ivory'. God, that was embarrassing."

"Then you made out with that guy."

"And then _you_ made out with him too."

"And then we came back here, got undressed and fell asleep."

"Yes, absolutely," Gwen nodded "and nothing even _remotely_ sexual happened."

"Agreed. We just-"

"Shh!" Gwen interrupted, no longer paying attention "Turn up the radio." Noting the sudden seriousness in Gwen's voice, Kathy obeyed.

"_In the early hours of this morning, the body of 23-year-old, Josie Farrows was found near the back entrance of the karaoke bar where she worked. Police suspect she was the victim of a mugging gone awry, they are urging anyone with any information_-" Gwen switched the radio off abruptly.

* * *

"Go away!" Owen mumbled at the insistent rapping that interrupted his blissful slumber "I'm trying to sleep!" Just on the cusp of hearing, he could make out mumbling voices, and then a deafening boom. Next thing he knew he was flat on his back, staring into the murderous eyes of one Gwen Cooper. He glanced in the direction of the door, which was swinging ajar. There was a smoking hole where the lock should be. A pair of jeans landed on his face.

"Get dressed." Gwen commanded. "We have work to do."

* * *

"So…what exactly are we doing?" Sam opened his one good eye to look at Alex. They were sitting cross-legged on the floor of the training room, about a foot apart from each other. It was such a strange feeling to have the collar off, even for a second. There was a large red welt around his neck, where it had rubbed him raw.

"We are establishing a mind-link, or trying to anyway. I'm not sure how it works."

"That's reassuring. Mind telling me why?"

"Because I'm going to dive into a crazy person's mind. I don't know how much experience you have doing that, but it's not the safest activity in the world." Alex opened his eyes and gave Sam a pointed look. "You're going to tether me to the real world, and pull me out if I get into any trouble."

"I see." Sam replied, although he didn't really. "And," he continued, whispering so as not to be overheard by the guards ringing the room "since I know you would never willingly go along with anything Doctor Worth wants, I can only assume you have some sort of plan?"

"The less you know about it, the better." Alex said, closing his eyes again. He could feel Nina floating in the back of his mind, mocking him. He didn't dare tell Sam that he planned to release Nina's consciousness into Myka's body, where it would assimilate the fragments of her broken mind and gain control. Alex wasn't comfortable with co-operating with Nina, but he couldn't see an alternative. And, like she said: everyone got what they wanted. Alex got Nina out of his head, and his freedom to boot. Nina got a new body, and even more power than she previously possessed, and Doctor Worth got to see her favourite test subject in action, if only briefly, before they escaped.

Pushing his concerns to the back of his mind, hoping that one of them might hit Nina in the face, Alex reached out with his power, towards Sam. He inched forward gently, encountering a bubble of resistance. He prodded it.

"Do you feel that?" He asked.

"I think so."

"I'm gonna have to push past that boundary to get inside you."

"Will it hurt?"

"I dunno. Maybe a little. Just try to relax."

"Okay."

"Are you relaxed?"

"As much as I can be, given the circumstances."

"Okay, here goes." Alex pulled back and thrust forward, hard and fast. A retina-blistering flash of light filled the dark space behind his eye lids and he was knocked backwards. He opened his eyes to see the roof spinning above him. Using his elbows, he levered himself into an upright position, to see Sam splayed out on the floor, panting heavily.

"That was…I mean talk about…" Sam lifted his head up slightly, only to let it fall back again "…wow." He finished, breathlessly.

"How do you feel?"

"Weird…" Sam shrugged "but not bad."

"You wanna try it again?" Alex inquired. He was fixed by a disbelieving stare.

"You have to ask?"

* * *

"Um, excuse me, Doctor Higurashi?"

Toshiko turned away from the diagram she was drawing to see a young man with glasses holding his hand in the air.

"Yes?"

"I was just wondering; what do you mean when you say the cybermen are powered by Love?"

"Well," Toshiko began, ignoring Jack's barely suppressed snort of laughter "as you all no doubt know, top scientists in the field of Loveology have recently discovered that, far from being inexhaustible, as we had previously thought, Love is a finite resource." She pointed to her crude drawing of a cyberman head. The audience nodded along, not having even the faintest idea what she was talking about.

"These antenna-thingies on the sides draw Love out of the air, and down to this miniature turbine in the chest that converts it into electrical energy. As far as we know, the process is irreversible, and the lost Love can never be recovered. Recent studies suggest that cybermen may be behind the rising divorce rates all around the world." She looked at her watch. "But that's all we have time for. I'm afraid. I'll see you all this afternoon for the lecture on cyberman weaponry."

"Love?" Jack asked, leaning into Toshiko as the scientists filed out of the lecture room "Why didn't you just say that the suits are powered by the brains inside them?"

"I suppose that would've made a lot more sense." Toshiko mused. "Oh well, we're not here to help them. Let's go."

* * *

Ianto approached the mouth of the alleyway, bearing a small cardboard drink-holder with four paper cups in it. He peered over the criss-crossing police tape, trying to spot Gwen and Owen amongst the police officers.

"Over here!"

Ianto turned to see Gwen, Owen and Kathy leaning against the side of the SUV, which was parked across the road, doing it's best to blend in with the small armada of blue-chequered police cars. He walked across to them.

"I came as soon as I got your call. Why aren't you over there?" He asked, handing out the coffees. Kathy eyed hers warily, took a careful sip, and stared at him disbelievingly.

"They won't let us through." Gwen explained. "Told them we were from Torchwood and they laughed in our faces."

"Talk about humiliating." Owen sighed.

"I thought it was funny." Kathy smiled "You guys are a bit of a pain in the arse, after all."

"Ever since Torchwood One fell in the battle of Canary Wharf, we've had no jurisdiction in London." Ianto explained.

"Why don't they just rebuild?"

"Can't afford to," Ianto shrugged "It would cost billions, and with nobody left to work there, it hardly seems worth it, does it?"

"What are you even doing here?" Owen asked, leaning across Gwen to speak to Kathy.

"I thought, since she's a police officer, she might be able to get us past the tape." Gwen replied, pushing Owen out of her personal space.

"But no luck, I'm afraid." Kathy took another sip of her coffee "Since I'm based in Cardiff, I don't have any power here either, especially not with the suspension."

"And so what are you doing here?" Owen asked.

"Leave off, Owen." Gwen said, shoving him away. "We're all equally useless."

"Where'd he go?" Kathy asked, looking around.

"Who?"

"The pretty Welsh boy," Kathy replied. "here one second, then 'poof', gone. Like a ghost."

"Or a fairy." Owen muttered under his breath, provoking a smack on the head from Gwen.

"Ianto?" She pressed a finger to her earpiece. "Ianto, can you hear me?"

"Yes." He replied, earning a squeal from Gwen. She turned to see him standing behind her.

"Don't ever do that!" She ordered, poking him hard in the chest. "You scared the crap out of me! Where were you?"

"Over there." Ianto pointed to the crime scene. "I managed to snag this before anyone saw me." He held up an evidence bag with Josie's mobile pone resting inside.

"How…how…" Kathy stuttered, but was ignored as Ianto pulled out the phone and flipped it open.

"Here we go. A list of recently dialled numbers. This is the latest one." He pressed the call button and held to his ear. "It's ringing." He waited a few minutes longer. There was a small click of someone picking up on the other end, and then a loud bang, like it had just been dropped.

"Damn it!" Some shuffling and then: "Hello? Hello?" Ianto's blood ran cold. The voice on the other end was gravelly, with an inflection of ingrained malice. It was chillingly familiar. "Hello? Who is this? Can you hear me?"

Ianto, heart slamming against his ribcage like a chest-burster from the 'Alien' movies, pulled the phone away from his ear and slammed it shut.

* * *

Just as they were about make their fifth attempt, a bell rang. Alex quickly got to his feet, Sam following suit.

"Time's up." Doctor Worth marched over to the two boys, flanked by guards, as per usual. In each hand she held their collars. Neither Alex nor Sam made an attempt to resist when she snapped them back on. Alex found himself grabbed by either arm and forced to keep up as he was half-dragged to a door on one side of the room, while Sam was frog-marched in the opposite direction.

When Alex closed his eyes, he could see the link: a taut, silver thread, stretching out into infinite darkness. It looked so real, he could almost reach out and touch it. Without warning, it began to vibrate and hum, like a guitar string that had just been plucked. He was overwhelmed by an eclectic mix of emotion: joy, sorrow, hope and fear. Whose feelings were they? His own? Someone else's? He looked over his shoulder, where Sam was being cuffed.

"_Sam_." He thought, as loud as he could. "_Sam._ _Can you hear me?_"

The dark-haired boy turned to look at him, an unreadable look on his face. But before Alex could even try to interpret it, the horrible black bag was dropped over his head, and the string drawn tight around his neck.

A/N: The plot thickens! Reviews are the chocolate sauce on the naked body of my day!


	21. Espionage For Dummies

A/N: Hiatus is over! Hooray! Turns out my laptop was less busted than I thought. It just wouldn't charge for some reason. I'm still planning to buy a new one anyway. Sorry it took so long, but I promise to have the next chapter up much quicker. It seems my chocolate sauce metaphor broke a few brains. I apologize for that as well, I didn't mean to upset anyone. I only did it, as they say, 'for the lulz'.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. There's lots of Ianto, and very little of anyone else. It's not particularly funny, but I'm quite pleased with how it turned out.

**Amelia McDermid: **Glad you enjoyed it. Tosh's death nearly made me cry. It actually did make a friend of mine cry, but he's even more of a girl than me (uh...no offense to all you girls).

**HuckingHarkness: **Alright, you caught me. The plot _has_ been advancing, just, very, very slowly. I'm having trouble getting everything in place, but this chapter marks the beginning of some significant story advancement. I hope...

**canadianskick: **Oh, do't get me wrong. I have a much bigger idea for your character, have no fear.

**Bewildered butterfly: **I don't want to give everything a way. The mindlink doesn't play an especially big part in this installment, but you'll get an idea of it's potential in this chapter.

**elretardo-69: **Thanks, I think. I'm not really sure what you wrote, but I get that it was a positive comment.

**hotflower901: **That's okay. I'm pretty sure I don't wanna see you covered in sauce either. Looking forward to seeing what you come up with.

**scigirl382: **Luckily, your big question, and then some, gets answered in this very chapter! Hooray!

**DISCLAIMER:**

Torchwood ain't my property,  
Although I wish it were so.  
As much as I hate to admit it,  
It's a copyrighted T.V. show.

**WARNINGS:**

To ensure that your parents,  
Don't get to bitch and moan,  
I have to warn you readers,  
Don't try this shit at home.

**TWENTYONE: ESPIONAGE FOR DUMMIES**

"Ianto?" Gwen asked "is something wrong?" He seemed almost frozen, gripping the mobile so tightly his knuckles had gone white. "Who was on the phone?"

"That" Ianto replied, falsely nonchalant "was Graeme."

"Oh. Okay." There was a long pause "Who's Graeme?"

"Graeme Greene." Ianto slipped the phone into his pocket "The former chief archivist of Torchwood One."

"Wow." Gwen blinked, taken aback "A former employee of Torchwood turns up dead, and now a girl with connections to the chief archivist is murdered. That's quite a coincidence."

"Maybe that's all it is?" Kathy asked "You did say Torchwood One disbanded. It could be a fluke." Ianto shook his head.

"I knew Graeme." He replied "If there's even the slightest chance he's involved, you can bet he organised the whole thing."

"How did you know Graeme?" Owen asked.

"He was my boss." Ianto shrugged "I worked under him."

"I'll bet you did."

"Owen!" Gwen turned to give him a sharp retort, but Ianto merely blushed.

"We did have a sort of thing…but that was before I met Lisa."

"God, you never let up do you?" Owen asked "You just roll over for anyone."

"I'm attracted to powerful men." Ianto replied.

"Well that counts you out." Gwen told Owen "Now Ianto," She continued, turning to him "Do you know Graeme's address?"

"Yes, I think so, unless he's moved. Why?" Ianto asked, not liking the look on her face. It was like a devious villain from a cartoon, right before he tied the beautiful heroine to the train tracks.

"I think I have an idea."

"Why does that sound so horrible when it comes out of _your_ mouth?"

* * *

"So," Alex flopped onto the bed, next to Nina "now what happens?"

"Well, your minds are going to slowly bleed into each other, becoming as one. You'll share memories, secrets, and thoughts. You'll see what he sees, hear what he hears, feel what he feels. You'll know each other even more intimately than you know yourselves."

"How do you know all this?"

"I've done it before."

"With who?" Alex asked, sitting up, surprised and shocked by the idea that there was someone out there that Nina would trust with the contents of her mind.

"Leif," she replied, "William, and a few others." She shrugged at Alex's disbelieving stare "It's the most effective way of communicating. No cost, no wait time, no static or miscommunications."

"But what about what you just said?" Alex asked "About feelings and stuff?"

"Well, I don't have to worry about that." She picked at her nails. "Or at least, I never used to; your stupid emotions have really messed me up. I hate feeling ways about stuff, at least when I bonded with people, I only copped the physical pain, not the emotional baggage."

"So, when I killed Leif…you felt that?"

"Yep."

"What was it like?"

"Choking on hot tar?"

"Um…yeah…"

"It hurt. A lot."

"Oh."

* * *

Toshiko returned to the room, exhausted. She'd searched every inch of her half of the building, and was hoping to get in a short nap before delivering her second lecture. The building was huge, and had divisions for just about everything you could imagine from Weapons Research to Microwave Dinners. She opened the door to find Jack lying on the couch, head thrown back and snoring lustily. Enraged, she stormed over and smacked him in the face with her handbag.

"Huh, wha- Toshiko?"

"What the hell, Jack?" She ranted "I've been going over this place with a fine-tooth comb, searching for secret passages and all that crap, and you've been up here doing…well, I don't particularly want to know what you've been doing, but I bet it wasn't helpful!"

"I searched for a bit," Jack replied "but then it got boring, so I went to the front desk and asked for a map."

"Oh, he asked for a map!" Toshiko raged to the otherwise empty room. "Well isn't that just…a map? Let me see that." She snatched the folded paper from Jack's outstretched hand and spread it out on the coffee table. The map was divided into twenty-five sections, one for each floor, with each room clearly marked. Finding Doctor Worth's office didn't take long. It was on the ground floor, and Jack had already circled it with red pen. "That doesn't make any sense. You'd think she'd be in Weapons Research, on the eighth floor, or maybe in the Psychology Department; but that's on the twelfth."

"Maybe Doctor Worth has her own department; one that doesn't show up on the map."

"Well, wherever she is, that's where we'll find Alex."

* * *

"Gwen, I'm really not comfortable with this." Ianto squirmed uncomfortably. He felt positively naked without his tie, and Owen's jeans were starting to ride.

"Man up, pussy-boy!" Gwen ordered from her position in the front passenger seat. "The fate of the world depends on you reuniting with your old boyfriend!"

"Can't Owen do it?" Ianto asked "Or how about Kathy? I bet Graeme's down with the 'swirl'."

"Sorry, pretty boy," Kathy gave him a comforting pat on the shoulder "but you're the only one who has any history with him. He wouldn't let some stranger in his house. Besides, you're the hottest one here."

"Why don't we just let him keep the orb?"

The next thing he knew, Ianto was on his hands and knees in front of an apartment block, his ears still ringing from the screech of tyres as the SUV raced around the corner and out of sight. With a sigh of resignation, he picked himself up and dusted off his knees. He made his way up the stairs, finally stopping at apartment seventeen. He caught sight of his slightly distorted reflection in the doorknob.

His 'disguise' was a plain white dress shirt with the top buttons undone, and Owen's baggiest jeans, which on him were still so tight that the button-fly was threatening to pop open any minute. There certainly wasn't any room to hide a gun. At least not without Jack's remarkable talent, a display of which had scarred the young Welshman for life.

He spent a few seconds finger-combing his hair, before straightening up and tugging on the jeans, which were trying to crawl up his arse again. He pressed the doorbell. He waited exactly a minute before pressing it again, wincing at the harsh chirp.

"Alright, alright, I'm coming!" A muffled voice bellowed from within. "Keep your hair on!" The door swung open. "What the fuck do you- Ianto?"

Ianto looked Graeme up and down. The man had aged extremely well. He was still sporting a thick head of dark hair, with slight greying at the temples, which actually _did_ make him look distinguished, instead of just old. He had obviously been working out more since they'd last met, as evidenced by his well-defined muscles and an impressive six pack. He was clad in nothing but boxer-briefs, the bulge of which held a package that would be the envy of any mailman. Ianto was struggling to remember why they'd ever broken up. Somewhere in the back of his mind he was aware that he was drooling slightly.

"Uh…H-hi, Graeme," he stammered, finally dragging his eyes back up to the man's face. "I was just in the area and I thought I'd…" he swallowed thickly before continuing, "drop in."

"Right, right. Well…uh, come in." Graeme moved to the side and waved Ianto in "The place is a bit of a mess I'm afraid. I don't get many visitors. Can I get you something? Tea? Coffee?"

"Just a glass of water, thanks." Ianto replied, suppressing a shudder at the memory of Graeme's coffee. Graeme hurried to comply. He returned from the kitchenette with a small glass of tap water. Ianto downed it quickly, though it did nothing to help the sudden dryness of his mouth. They stood together in awkward silence, Graeme's arms swinging back and forth.

"So, I should probably shower and get dressed. After all it's nearly…"

"Three o'clock." Ianto finished for him.

"Right. Well, you make yourself at home and I'll go do…that."

Graeme vanished into the bedroom. Ianto waited until he could hear the shower running before he began scouring the apartment. He opened every cupboard and drawer, knocking things over in his haste. He overturned couch cushions, even checked the thickest novels on the bookcase. Just as he was beginning to grow desperate, his gaze settled on a rolltop desk standing in the corner of the lounge room, partially obscured by the television. He crouched down in front of it, opening every drawer, rifling through tax forms and receipts, glancing at every page, checking for false bottoms. The partition at the top sported a large padlock. Ianto turned back to the kitchenette, where a set of keys was hanging from a small hook by the phone. He dashed to it, stumbling over an ottoman.

Just as his hand closed around the keys, the shower stopped with a squeak. Ianto froze, panting heavily, heart beating so fast it was almost a constant hum. As soon as it became clear that Graeme was _not_ about to burst out, naked and dripping (a scenario that had as many pros as cons), Ianto ran back across the room.

After much fumbling with the keys, he found the one that fit the padlock. Ianto lifted the partition of the rolltop, only to have it get stuck after an inch. He jiggled and shook the desk frantically, it screeched in protest as he forced it open the rest of the way. Lying there, open, was a manila folder with a sheaf of paper. Ianto grabbed it and flicked through the pages. He only skimmed the contents, but what he read was enough to ensure him of the folder's importance.

"Ianto?"

At the sound of Graeme's voice, Ianto slammed the rolltop shut and turned around; shoving the folder down his already tight pants, while his other hand struggled to replace the padlock.

"Hi Graeme." Ianto squeaked, just as the lock snapped shut with a click. "I was just admiring your desk. It's very beautiful. The wood is mahogany, yes?"

"PVC with a maple veneer, actually." Graeme corrected "Listen, I was wondering if you aren't busy, maybe you'd like to go and-"

"Oh, I just remembered!" Ianto interrupted before Graeme could finish. "I have to go see my sister. She's in…hospital…with termites."

"Termites?"

"She has a wooden leg." Ianto replied, running to the door. "It's very serious. Can we do it another time?"

"Uh, sure. How about-"

"Fantastic," Ianto slammed the door shut behind him. "I'll call you! Bye!"

A/N: Okay, so this probably raises more questions than it answers. I wanted to have the contents of the folder revealed in this chapter, but it would've been twice as long, and so you would've had to wait twice as long to get it.

Reviews are the comic strips in the newspaper of my life!


End file.
